What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

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What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby Phoenix6570 » Wed Oct 05, 2011 8:17 pm

I think this is an interesting topic for a variety of reasons. I hear men claiming they're masculine all the time and people stating they want masculine men. But what traits make up a masculine man? I have an idea in my head but its based only on my thoughts and part of it is image as well. When I think of a masculine man I picture a guy like this:

Image

Then the qualities I would assume he would have being a masculine man are: Loyal, dependable, kind, assertive, protecting, reasonable, strong, intelligent, skilled, funny. I would expect him to be strong-willed and have a mind of his own. I think he would take care of his mental and physical health. He would have a variety of interest and hobbies that display his masculine side. I guess these would include sports of some kind and other hobby's attributed to masculine men such as cars,technology, racing, fighting. Physically I would expect him to be bigger and have some muscle also he would have a deep voice and lots of hair.

But what really makes a masculine male? Is there really a set definition or is it a different idea in everyone's head? I'm sure they're men out there who look nothing like the guy I posted and have no interests in sports yet consider themselves masculine. So what makes a man a masculine man?
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby madsglen » Sat Oct 08, 2011 9:16 pm

I always find this discussion and the statement in general interesting and frustrating at the same time. The simplest definition is that if you're male, your masculine. Period. I have the same frustration with the idea of "real man". What the hell does that mean, really? But you're right that everyone seems to have their own definition about what "masculine" means. Tough guy? Jock? (I know plent of jocks and sports fans in general who play for "my team") The overall definition seem to have been pretty fluid over the years, decades, even centuries. It all comes down to understanding certain stereotypes, I guess.

A good friend of mine absolutely refused to believe I was gay for the longest time. Never really got a good answer why that was. This from a guy who knew my partner. But I suspect it's because I didn't (and don't generally) "swish" or "flounce". Now that same friend, when talking about me to people I barely know, states that "he'll mow the yard, re-wire my living room, install my new garbage disposal, help me pick out paint colors and then go home and bake a peach pie to bring for dinner". Weird. He's as straight as they come but isn't into those things and probably couldn't change the oil in his car if his life depended on it. Like for some reason having an opinion on what color would work his house and the fact that can cook earns me "princess points". Jeez. I know he means it as compliment but for some reason sometimes it doesn't feel like it.

I guess masculine means "not feminine", whatever that means.
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby doctor dan » Sat Oct 08, 2011 9:22 pm

P6570: Right after the picture you posted, you listed a bunch of qualities that have nothing to do with looks! Personally, I think that dude looks like a man, but not particularly masculine. His zipper is undone, he's in a car shop but his hands are not dirty, and he has his shirt off. Looks like a gay model to me. *shrug*

I think masculinity is on a sliding scale from nothing to infinity, and for any two people in the world, their interpretation will always differ. Chaq'un a son goût!
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby nimby » Sun Oct 09, 2011 9:38 pm

The only two masculine traits that I can think of that haven't been stolen by women are shaving and free standing urination. We're not allowed any more masculinity. :(

Seriously, Phoenix, I've seen many men just like in the picture you showed hanging out in gay bars in the village. They look all masculine until they squeal like girls and flap their hands. It really makes me laugh. I don't have a clue what masculine means anymore.
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby Rico » Sat Oct 15, 2011 3:53 pm

nimby wrote:The only two masculine traits that I can think of that haven't been stolen by women are shaving and free standing urination. We're not allowed any more masculinity. :(

Seriously, Phoenix, I've seen many men just like in the picture you showed hanging out in gay bars in the village. They look all masculine until they squeal like girls and flap their hands. It really makes me laugh. I don't have a clue what masculine means anymore.

Not so sure what you mean about shaving, but as far as free standing urination....I guess you haven't heard of Go Girl. It's small enough to fit in any woman's purse. Next?

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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby olywaguy » Mon Oct 17, 2011 8:13 pm

Well, it looks like Dr. Pepper seems to have found out what masculinity is all about in its latest commercial.
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby Earl Butz » Tue Oct 18, 2011 4:31 am

I don't see many women in the pro sports leagues. They've sure taken over the t.v. news business, though. One station here has all female weather forecasters even. Cops and firemen seem to be holding their own as male professions.

Oh and the military. Especially the navy. Seamen. And boats. Full of men. Just men. :twisted:
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby nimby » Tue Oct 18, 2011 10:57 am

:D You said seamen.
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby nimby » Tue Oct 18, 2011 11:05 am

Rico wrote:
nimby wrote:The only two masculine traits that I can think of that haven't been stolen by women are shaving and free standing urination. We're not allowed any more masculinity. :(

Seriously, Phoenix, I've seen many men just like in the picture you showed hanging out in gay bars in the village. They look all masculine until they squeal like girls and flap their hands. It really makes me laugh. I don't have a clue what masculine means anymore.

Not so sure what you mean about shaving, but as far as free standing urination....I guess you haven't heard of Go Girl. It's small enough to fit in any woman's purse. Next?

Image

Just showed this "kooch" cup to the wife and she had a good laugh. Even funnier though is how Rico knows about these things. Explain yourself!
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby Rico » Tue Oct 18, 2011 3:56 pm

nimby wrote:...Just showed this "kooch" cup to the wife and she had a good laugh. Even funnier though is how Rico knows about these things. Explain yourself!

I'm a well-rounded person and have a wild curiousity about absolutely everything. I'm actually thinking about getting them as gifts for some of the women on my Christmas shopping list. You're wife doesn't think this would be a practical gadget?
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby nimby » Tue Oct 18, 2011 4:42 pm

LOL!!! Sure. I think they would make lovely gifts. Get all your women one. Really! And let us know how that goes, ok? :lol: Talk about Penis Envy...
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby Rico » Tue Oct 18, 2011 5:43 pm

nimby wrote:LOL!!! Sure. I think they would make lovely gifts. Get all your women one. Really! And let us know how that goes, ok? :lol: Talk about Penis Envy...

No vagina envy here for sure...I can guarantee you that. I wouldn't trade my wonderful dick in for a truckload of vaginae. :lol: Seriously, it seems a practical item for the outdoorsy type woman.

Now what were we talking about? Oh...masculinity. Got to admit something here....wore my new suit for the first time today....got quite a few compliments. I looked good! I know it sounds stupid...but the suit made me feel....well...masculine. Go figure.
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby PhillyAgenda » Wed Oct 19, 2011 5:30 pm

madsglen wrote:I guess masculine means "not feminine", whatever that means.

That's basically been my take on it. I think of myself as a masculine guy, and when I say that I'm talking more mannerisms, speech, and appearance in some ways. I guess it's how a lot of guys describe themselves as "straight acting" I just translate that as masculine. So going off of stereotypes, if MOST people's first impression of a guy is that he's straight, I'd most likely identify him as masculine. I don't think there's any set list of qualifications. It's just the way a guy carries himself, I think you know it when you see it.

As for some of the stereotypical 'manly' activities, I'm not into sports, I don't know dick about cars, and I don't like beer.
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby Schlodesss » Thu Oct 20, 2011 12:37 pm

doctor dan wrote:P6570: Right after the picture you posted, you listed a bunch of qualities that have nothing to do with looks! Personally, I think that dude looks like a man, but not particularly masculine. His zipper is undone, he's in a car shop but his hands are not dirty, and he has his shirt off. Looks like a gay model to me. *shrug*


This post wins so much LOL!
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby Ben » Fri Oct 21, 2011 5:07 am

I think masculinity is pretty easy to define, and that most people are making it more complex than it has to be.

Plainly, a masculine man

* does not talk with a lisp, and in a voice pitch obviously higher than for which his vocal chords were intended.
* has firm wrists
* has a more forceful walk than delicate (due to an often taller, heavier, and more powerful body structure attributed by the Y chromosome)
* wants to wear traditional male clothing only (considered so within respective culture - ex. Scottish kilts are not fem)

All these mentioned above are signs that a man is comfortable in his own skin, and behaves the way which his body was intended. This means that he doesn't try to force his male body to be something it's not. Only the last bullet point can seem to belong more in the mental category, but there is a physical aspect to this as well - women's clothing is intended for more delicate bodies. That's why many people think dragqueens look weird. Their squareish, broad shouldered bodies generally don't carry female clothing that well.

True gender / mannerisms go deeper that mere social constructs because they are virtually similar in any culture on Earth. It's natural human behavior that emerges regardless of culture.
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby Learning » Sun Oct 30, 2011 12:32 pm

Phoenix6570 wrote:I think this is an interesting topic for a variety of reasons. I hear men claiming they're masculine all the time and people stating they want masculine men. But what traits make up a masculine man? I have an idea in my head but its based only on my thoughts and part of it is image as well?


Given the number of guys online asking to be with straight acting and masculine partners, there's obviously a lot of interest in this issue, Phoenix.

It would be easy to get lost in the details, but certain things about people create an overall impression which is read as more or less masculine. That's why the recruits in Gay Army seem stereotypical while their drill instructors seem more masculine. That's why real gay soldiers like Darren Manzella seem more masculine than the stereotypical Gay Army recruits.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYW3He_1JdU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jz3bYPFujiE

Some things have to do with a guy's body like muscles, size, v shape, voice, and hair. Some things have to do with showing a strong, dominant style like spreading out, taking up space, using a full voice, having a strong step, making eye contact, and relaxing.

Other things are harder to pin down because they vary depending on the group, like what kind of clothes to wear and what hobbies and interests to have, and how to show dominance. Others, like character traits, are things you only notice by seeing how someone handles a lot of different situations. Other things might be different depending on the person you ask.
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby olywaguy » Sun Oct 30, 2011 9:30 pm

So far, most of you have mentioned the following physical attributes that make a guy masculine:

--muscles or "take care of himself"
--deep voice
--hairiness
--sports
--car guy
--outdoorsy
--no lisp
--firm wrists
--gait
--prefers traditional clothing

However, I don't have defined muscles. I am what most gay guys would refer as a bearish kind of guy. Yet, according to the descriptions thus far, that should make me non-masculine. Talk to any of the guys that attended the Vegas sa.com meeting a number of years ago and they will tell you that I am not effeminate in any shape or form.

Hairiness may make you look more masculine but I have met quite a few smooth guys who are quite masculine so that can't be a quality of masculinity either. I've met hairy guys that behave quite effeminately so hairiness in itself doesn't make you masculine either.

The gay lisp thing is a contrivance of the person. They create that for themselves. No one naturally speaks that way. They do it because they want attention from other gay guys and this is one of the ways to do that. Same with a wiggly gait. The guys in question want to be noticed by other guys and this is the best way to do it even at risk of getting yourself beaten up.

Okay, like PhillyAgenda himself, I am not a car guy. I don't know anything about car whatsoever and I am not a terribly outdoorsy guy either. I don't drink alcohol either. Yet, I am fairly masculine. I am a big fan of the TV show The West Wing. I just bought the second season DVDs. On one episode, they have a gay Congressman character who is opposed to gay marriage. One of the things the simple minded writers (at least with this character is concerned) tried to point out his masculinity by repeatedly having him request a beer. Apparently, being an alcoholic makes you masculine. I just rolled my eyes at the stupidity of it all.

Speaking about outdoorsiness, In just about every personals profile that I have ever seen in the numerous dating sites, everybody is an outdoorsman. No one is ready to admit they are a homebody or they like a lot of indoor activities like going to a museum/art gallery, the theater, etc. Lord forbid you should admit that.

I am not into sports either but that doesn't make me effeminate. I just don't like most sports. Once in a while I will go to watch a professional baseball game. Today, I got invited to go see the LSU vs. Alabama game next Saturday at someone's home. Both he and I went to LSU (he is much older than I am) but I am mostly going as a bonding thing since I am still trying to make friends in a new town and it is incredible to find another LSU alum in such a small town. I met him and his wife at church. Whenever we see each other, he always asks me if I saw the LSU game. LSU is undefeated this season and the Alabama game should be a good one. So, I will be going because of the camaraderie than anything else. I still don't understand what goes on in a football game but I really don't care about that. I am going there to make friends.

I think the gay guys that behave effeminately do so as an affectation in order to attract other guys especially masculine closeted guys so they are able to clearly identify them as gay. I remember chatting with someone online who was in the habit of wearing pink underwear in the high school locker room even though guys picked on him incessantly. Yet, when in private, one of those guys would make a pass at him and that included the captain of the football team. They identified him as gay due to him wearing pink underwear.

I think what everyone here is identifying as masculine traits is actually their idea of what a masculine guy should be. If you think that a masculine guy should be hairy, muscular, and should know his way around a car then that's it is for you.

However, it is interesting to note (to most of the guys here credit) that no one has mentioned penis size. Yet, that is the one trait most gay guys seem to want if you ever read every gay personals profile. The one thing most gay guys want in a guy is a big penis...somehow that's extremely masculine trait. If you don't have a big penis...then forget it. It is the first thing they ask in a private chat. Yet, if you were talking to a guy in person, would you ask him his penis size? I doubt it. That's a big turn off to me and I stop chatting with them. It seems, that as far as gay guys are concerned, all we are is the penis size. We are not people, we are just a penis.
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby olywaguy » Mon Oct 31, 2011 7:07 pm

Would you consider this stay-at-home dad masculine?

Does a guy who decides to be a stay-at-home dad automatically out of contention as a masculine male?
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby nimby » Tue Nov 01, 2011 2:24 pm

Yes, a lot of those traits are stereotypical male. It may not be fair but most people do stereotype; even you, Carlos. As per your example, just because a guy likes to drink beer doesn't mean he's an alcoholic.

:mrgreen:
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby Learning » Wed Nov 02, 2011 3:10 pm

olywaguy wrote:I am not into sports either but that doesn't make me effeminate.


Carlos, I think you've got things in mind that make a person seem more masculine or more effeminate because you've said certain people do seem more masculine, but you haven't said much about what things you think add to those impressions.

Would you say that out the many different things that add to or take away from seeming masculine, ways of speaking and moving weigh most heavily?
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby Lesley R. Charles » Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:00 pm

What qualities do I attribute to a masculine male? Good question. A guy who knows what he wants. Treats others with respect Is comfortable being who is, confident in his abilities but not cocky. Liking sports, repairing cars and doing home repairs are pluses but does not necessarily define a man.
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Re: What qualities do you attribute to a masculine male?

Postby nimby » Fri Jan 18, 2013 8:01 pm

To me, a man is confident in who he is, is honest to others as well as himself and lives his life on his terms, not afraid of other's opinions. I try really hard to live like this.
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