Who wants to revive this site

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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby nimby » Tue Jun 14, 2011 9:39 pm

Lately, comming here is like fartin' in a wind storm anyway. Really is a pity. :(
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby Gaydudelaf » Tue Jun 14, 2011 11:24 pm

nimby wrote:Lately, comming here is like fartin' in a wind storm anyway. Really is a pity. :(


Yeah, well thanks for the honest input guys. At least I an lay down an say that I tried. The good news is that I still have a lot of really good friends from here. I guess its time to give up.
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby olywaguy » Tue Jun 14, 2011 11:40 pm

I don't think we should give up at all.

First secure permission from TomSA to do a revamp of the site.

Secondly, look around and see what kind of software there is to make this site better. If it requires funding then raise some money or get some ads placed on the site to get some revenue for the site. I know TomSA has talked about this in the past.

Thirdly, discuss what features we want in the new site and still keep it PG-13. Like I said before, take a look at the Beta site that TomSA created but that gave him some technical difficulties as a jumping start for something new.

Don't give up so easily. I think adding new features to the site would bring more people to the site like it did once.

Now, let's get off our asses and do something!!
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby Earl Butz » Wed Jun 15, 2011 4:01 am

nimby wrote:Lately, comming here is like fartin' in a wind storm anyway. Really is a pity. :(


Not really. It's not the big party it used to be, but it's still worthwhile. Even Facebook is seeing a decline in users....the internet is so prone to fads. And I'll restate my big beef with Facebook: the communication there is superficial! We talk in depth here, and that is what I love about this board!
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby nimby » Wed Jun 15, 2011 1:15 pm

doctor dan wrote:With all due respect, Tom owns the copyright to the site. I think that any talk of reviving the site needs his explicit approval before any of us spends time planning. While it is interesting to posit exciting directions for straightacting.com, unless Tom says he supports any such efforts, it's like farting in a windstorm.

So let's get Tom here. I understand he's very busy and has moved on to other things, but lets just see if Tom is still interested at all in this place. Then we can know if we proceed.
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby J » Wed Jun 15, 2011 4:00 pm

I'd love to, and on occasion, I've had some success, but I think no attention is better than negative attention (which is what I'm sometimes good at/guilty of). Maybe just getting back to the basics at what made the site great in the first place. I think that's been suggested already. Whatever happens, I hope this site has a long and great future ahead.
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby doctor dan » Wed Jun 15, 2011 11:12 pm

i don't think that facebook contributed all that much to the decline of this site. i should say, the decline of these forums, since this is basically the only functioning part of the site.

i participate in other php bulletin boards that are very robust. instead of blaming facebook, if in fact anything or anybody can be blamed, i believe that several (former?) users had oversized egos matched with difficult personalities. they dominated virtually all threads. then some of these same were put in positions of relative power as moderators. and that's a recipe for internet bulletin board decline.

add on that the owner and one of the two site admins have not shown a bit of interest in participating, and you end up a headless creation that survives on lower brain stem only. to be perfectly honest, every time i load the bookmark for this bbs, i half expect that the site willbe dead. and honestly, it's a shame. because i too met some awesome guys through this medium.
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby Earl Butz » Thu Jun 16, 2011 6:02 am

Trying to unite the gay community is tough, that's for sure. We're a small minority to begin with, and this site is a minority within a minority. I think alot of us are mentally ill to boot. Throw in big egos and abrasive personalities, and it's a recipe for disaster.

I'm sure other boards, discussing U.S. politics for instance, are much easier to keep active.
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby Davy » Thu Jun 16, 2011 5:00 pm

Earl Butz wrote:I'm sure other boards, discussing U.S. politics for instance, are much easier to keep active.


Don't count on it. I run such a board and it's been dead for quite some time, frequented only by a handful of dedicated political junkies like myself. It's been my experience that most forums are only regularly visited by a very few dedicated members and even fewer actually post-- that is, unless it's about some really hot topic.
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby nimby » Thu Jun 16, 2011 6:01 pm

I really do think people are suffering internet burn out. All the emails I get are shear crap now a days, and this is the only place I visit with any regularity. I'm just sick of sitting in front of a screen all the time. Now excuse me while I go watch some tv.
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby nimby » Fri Jun 17, 2011 8:17 pm

doctor dan wrote:i don't think that facebook contributed all that much to the decline of this site. i should say, the decline of these forums, since this is basically the only functioning part of the site.

i participate in other php bulletin boards that are very robust. instead of blaming facebook, if in fact anything or anybody can be blamed, i believe that several (former?) users had oversized egos matched with difficult personalities. they dominated virtually all threads. then some of these same were put in positions of relative power as moderators. and that's a recipe for internet bulletin board decline.

add on that the owner and one of the two site admins have not shown a bit of interest in participating, and you end up a headless creation that survives on lower brain stem only. to be perfectly honest, every time i load the bookmark for this bbs, i half expect that the site willbe dead. and honestly, it's a shame. because i too met some awesome guys through this medium.


Apparently some people think this place had been dying for years. Here's an old thread I dug up that went south pretty quick. Interesting to see the comments then about newbies. No wonder many didn't stay. Those were pretty harsh comments.

viewtopic.php?f=10&t=285&p=197719&hilit=conspiracy#p197719
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby doctor dan » Fri Jun 17, 2011 9:04 pm

You know, Nimby, I actually read your posts now. Hah!

Now, some straight talk on why this site is obsolete? Here goes...

Most people I know learned of this site through AOL profiles that had their StraightActing Score, and a little icon. People clicked on it, and came to the site. There they found various "quizzes", a monthly contest, a news feed, personals, etc. Some people even found the forums. But, AFAIK, AOL doesn't have chat rooms like they used to.

Facebook would be a possible place to attract new people, but if you put Straight Acting in the search box, you get a page with paragraph of what the term means and two paragraphs of criticism of it. How many people here would "Like" a Straightacting.com fan page, so it would propagate to other people? Few, I imagine. The quiz is on Facebook now, but that's it. There is a perception of a self-loathing stigma attached to proclaiming one's "straight-actingness."

And suppose figuring out how to get traffic on Facebook really generates new visitors to this site. What do they get? They get a link to the quiz on Facebook, a link to these forums, and information about coming quizzes from 2009. Unless and until Tom decides to pay attention to this site, I frankly do not see any sort of revitalization happening. And it's not because I and others read newbies' posts, or not.
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby nimby » Fri Jun 17, 2011 10:12 pm

doctor dan wrote: ... And it's not because I and others read newbies' posts, or not.

Ahh, but you do, ya big softie. :D
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby olywaguy » Fri Jun 17, 2011 10:19 pm

Doctor_Dan post just made the point that there is a need to re-design the website and bring it back to its old glory.

This website is unique. There is none other like it and we need to fight to keep it and make it grow. The Facebook page could serve as a pointer to this website. But, in order to make it worthwhile for new people, we need to make it better.
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby justaguy » Mon Jun 20, 2011 8:30 pm

Hey guys,

Don't close this website!

I just found it, so I'm new here. It took a lot of Google searching (keywords: non-stereotypical gay). A link to this site didn't come up until page 24!

The main problem, other than being a non-stereotypical / non-identifying gay, is simply - nobody knows it exist other than you guys. Who looks through 24 pages of Google? I do, but that's another story.

It's not modern at all. PHP boards are absolutely 100% relevant only as long as the content is searchable, people link to it for Google juice, active members and topics, etc.

I don't relate to the mainstream gay community.
I'm a regular guy into guy stuff, but nothing macho or over-masculine b.s. I've spent a long time searching for like-minded guys locally and online. It's nearly impossible. I have no problem with diversity, but I honestly want to belong to an actual sub-group for a darn change! I'm always the odd man out.

So...

1. Trying to build a website without the owner's support is a bad idea.

1a. This board is great, but signing up for it wasn't simple. I had to search for a code in a forum topic ... on another page ... after I filled out information, etc. I get why, but good moderators will help eliminate b.s.

2. Most regular guys don't use "straight acting" or "butch" as words. I don't. If you're going to use it ... plaster it on everything to help people understand what it means. It needs a sub-description (like non-stereotypical gay and bi men). Keep it simple.

3. If you don't like Facebook, don't use it or join it, but don't knock it. I hate Facebook, but it's relevant and serves a purpose. I use it sparingly. It would work for those who are comfortable using it. Let the page or group stay public, so those uncomfortable can still read it without joining. It would act like what I'm presuming was this boards old website only modernized.

4. The straight-acting poll from my memory was used as a fun joke in the mainstream community, but it worked at the time. I'm not sure it will have the same affect now. Gay is much more widely accepted, so stereotypes get the attention.

IMO, gay has become even gayer and everyone is joining the party. Plus SEE: #2

5. Love what someone said about adult content bringing in a non-social crowd. I love porn, but there's plenty of websites for it. Keep the niche.

I know this is a lot of stuff, but it's what came to mind.

I'm in a rough spot in my life right now. I'm 32, I have no true friends, no one I easily relate with (it's been over 10 years since) and everyone I meet tries to pull me into the "gay bubble" of a world. I know this site isn't the in-person answer, but maybe it's a small comfort. Maybe it helps me and others? Maybe not?


If this site is going to die, then please let me know where we could start a new one or other similar websites. There's plenty of porn and plenty of gay stereotype. Where's the place where guys into guys can be guys?

10 people or 100, I'd like to be in that place.
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby nimby » Tue Jun 21, 2011 1:45 pm

Hi Juataguy and welcome!

Wow, for a new member you have some great input. Thank you. As you can see, this is a great place for guys just like us, regular guys who like guys. Actually there is a bit of everything on here, and that's what makes this place great. Yes, it's a little sow lately, but we're working hard to revive it. I didn't realise it was so hard to locate this site. Again good info. that we can use.

So stick around, read and speak up in the boards, ask any questions you have and we'll gladly chirp in. So many found ths place during a difficult time in their lives (me included) and the others really give great advice. So many have such valuable life experience.

We're glad you found us. Cheers!
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby justaguy » Tue Jun 21, 2011 8:53 pm

nimby wrote:... We're glad you found us. Cheers!


Thanks nimby. I seriously appreciate the welcome.

I think I spent about 3+ hours reading through the boards last night. I found a ton of similar thinking. It's already helped.

I want to stress, I'm not against stereotypes. I just wish they weren't so dominant. It'd be great to find more "guy next door" type gay and bi men. More exposure of "boring" guys will help with that (used boring for lack of a better word).

I'm here to help where I can.
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby olywaguy » Tue Jun 21, 2011 11:08 pm

When you use the term "straightacting," the website comes at the very top of the results in Google. The term is fairly common these days. "Non-stereotypical" is not term that comes to mind. However,
"masculine" should be included as a meta term used to find the website.

It has been almost nine or ten years since I found this site and I cannot remember what term I used to find the site. Somehow, I found it and am glad to have done so. There aren't any sites like this one and we need to keep it that way.

Get TomSA's ok to redesign the website and then we can proceed with that. Lou (furface) has administrator permission to work on the site. Find out from TomSA if there is a budget for the site and see what we can do with it.
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby justaguy » Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:57 pm

olywaguy wrote:When you use the term "straightacting," the website comes at the very top of the results in Google.


Hey olywaguy,

I Googled it. You're right, but that assumes everyone only uses those words. New generation; new terms.

From Ohio to Florida, I can't remember the last time I've heard anyone use "straight acting" online or in person. I'm talking years. It's pretty old school, but still has relevance. Butch is a typical gay term. Non-stereotypical is a trending term. I've been told I'm "not gay" by gay friends most of the time :lol:

All relevant keywords should be used.

I'm already pushing Google juice to this board using various terms. Assume interested guys know nothing, so use every relevant keyword. Meta tags are okay, but linked keywords are far more powerful.

I've been working on a website myself, but it's more about entertainment and less about a forum. I'm a creative visuals guy, so my concepts include photography & short films to show like-minded POV's.

Websites take commitment, so if it's tough to initiate (looks that way right now), it could be a tough road. It's possible, but I'd say put the effort into this board. Control what you can right now. More pictures (non-X rated of course), more Facebook, more Twitter, more Tumblr all linking back here if you're really wanting a boost.


A weekly or bi-weekly newsletter / updates email list would rock!
Won't overload emails, but won't let guys forget about the site.


I know I'm still very new here ... just throwing (a lot of) ideas out there.
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby olywaguy » Wed Jun 22, 2011 10:27 pm

Well I see the term straight acting in Craigslist, Gay.com, and Manhunt.net just to name a few.

Justaguy, we need input from a newbie perspective. Maybe some of these ideas could help bring more people to the website. So, go ahead and speak your mind.
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby Gaydudelaf » Thu Jun 23, 2011 8:23 am

justaguy wrote:
nimby wrote:... We're glad you found us. Cheers!


Thanks nimby. I seriously appreciate the welcome.

I think I spent about 3+ hours reading through the boards last night. I found a ton of similar thinking. It's already helped.

I want to stress, I'm not against stereotypes. I just wish they weren't so dominant. It'd be great to find more "guy next door" type gay and bi men. More exposure of "boring" guys will help with that (used boring for lack of a better word).

I'm here to help where I can.



Hey Man! Its nice to meet you! I grew up in Florida and my brother lives in Orlando! :) I would be willing to support anyone's efforts to rebuild this site. I like the ideas you bring. This site, and more importantly the guys on here, helped me through two of the most difficult times in my life so I am reluctant to see it go away.
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby Davy » Thu Jun 23, 2011 5:13 pm

All of justaguy's points are valid. However, I concur with others who have used google to search and have found this site at the top of the first page when using "straight-acting" as the search term. I have never really liked that word, because it suggests that we act like something we are not-- you never hear black people defining themselves as "white-acting". But nevertheless, it's a term that has stuck and it's a term that's common. Attempts to consciously change language usually fail. Just ask Richard Stallman, who has spent the last 15 years trying to get people to say "GNU/Linux" (pronounced "g-nu slash linux") instead of "Linux".

I am extremely experienced with setting up, designing, running, and maintaining web forums. I have managed a vbulletin forum that had over 200,000 members. I currently run a political forum and a gaming forum (both use the same version of phpbb that this site uses). It would be very easy for me to take the database of this site (provided TomSA would be willing to release it) and create an entirely new forum from the ground up. I could have it up in a matter of hours. But all of that assumes that TomSA has lost interest in this site. I haven't seen anything to suggest he has. But if he ever does feel the need to close this site and move on, my offer stands.

Even so, it is very difficult to draw attention to a forum site. The only reason al7bar.tk had over 200,000 members was because it allowed people to post software necessary to do things that were not legal and thus not allowed on most websites. That was a once in a lifetime thing and its time has come and gone. I would say that straightacting.com is about as active right now as it can be expected to be.

One thing I would never want to see here is adult/porn content. Sure, we talk about sex and relationships and such, but this site has never been a hookup site and I wouldn't want to see it become that. That would certainly boost the numbers, but it would also take away from what was the original vision: a place for regular guys who don't fit into any particular "scene" and who aren't stereotypically gay to discuss things and even get together on occasion. I would lose interest in this site FAST if it suddenly became filled with ads featuring twinks and muscle studs and began to take the same appearance as gaydar, gay.com, adam4adam, and every other site.
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby J » Thu Jun 23, 2011 9:18 pm

I don't know how to restore the site's former glory. It's 11-ish years old (a huge feat in itself), but for me, it has diminished over the years. I'd hate to see it die, and we don't have to see that happen, but sometimes it seems like it's struggling on life support. Maybe what worked 11 years ago just isn't what it takes to keep this site going today. All I can think of is trying to figure out ways to bring the site into the 2010s in ways that will interest everybody, oldies and newbies. What are people doing these days on similar sites? I'm lazy so I haven't researched it yet. :?
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby justaguy » Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:08 pm

Oh ... changing "straight acting" was not my intention. Sorry if I implied it. It's very common, but so are other words. I was saying to use a combination of words and terms to reach more.

Think about this ... if the term "straight acting" is so common, why isn't there more participation here? That's the million dollar question. Lots of answers too.

If you run in typical gay circles, it's hard to think outside of it. I used to run in those circles. I don't now. A lot of terms that are typically used within the mainstream community are *not* used outside of it.

Hey Gaydudelaf ... how's AZ compared to FL?
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Re: Who wants to revive this site

Postby justaguy » Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:38 pm

@Davy +1 (agreed) "One thing I would never want to see here is adult/porn content." It's not necessary. What would be great are pictures representing the guy next door ... but who's into men. I'm working on that. Also, many more pictures of those of you who are comfortable. Voyeurism rules all.

@J - I'd rather have it on life support than not at all. What are you doing these days on similar sites? :wink:

Want to really get people interested; take a look at the highest view counts for topics.

- A. Official "So what'd y'all do this weekend???" II
- B. Guys I Miss
- C. So.... what's everyone look like???? (easy to figure this would be popular)
- D. What's your age
- E. what's your shoe size?


Down the list ... most topics are about you, me, us, what we have in common or not.

Face it, most guys aren't talkers, but are curious about other guys lives. We're mostly visual, so we want to see each others face, bodies, lives (if comfortable). It's all about not feeling alone in the world.

Cater to that. Build the brotherhood. Takeover the world! (ok, so maybe not the last one)
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