How do you know if a guy is gay?

Discussion on what it means to be straight acting, whether it's good, bad or indifferent.

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Postby sammyboy » Fri Feb 06, 2009 8:45 pm

I got the very strong feeling I was being cruised one day at Wal Mart. This really good-looking kid - er, young man in his mid to late 20's - made eye contact with me from across the dairy section. Of course, just making eye contact doesn't mean a thing....except that whenever I looked up after dropping stuff in my cart his gaze was there to catch my eyes right away.

This guy was really hot with a stocky kinda wrestler's build, but he also had an enormous "fertility goddess"...or is it Jabba the Hut's wife? - woman and two small girls in tow. Of course, I was in any position to make any kind of move with my own daughter with me.

Who knows, maybe he was just trying to look tough when I looked up the first time. Or maybe he thought I was eyeing his whale of a woman....E-yuck to that idea!

A few month's later I took my older son to the pediatrician and found another hot-looking younger guy - dad to one of the patients, I guess - making repeated and extended eye contact with me.

Guess I'm a gutless wonder, but I never have followed-up on eye contact with another guy even what would probably be a "safe" venue. Part of my cowardice also has to do with being an older guy - 53 going on 54 - who didn't even start coming out 'til just before my 50th. Shyness can be a real bitch!
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Postby crankycurmudgeon » Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:40 pm

sammyboy wrote:I got the very strong feeling I was being cruised one day at Wal Mart. This really good-looking kid - er, young man in his mid to late 20's - made eye contact with me from across the dairy section...

Who knows, maybe he was just trying to look tough when I looked up the first time...

A few month's later I took my older son to the pediatrician and found another hot-looking younger guy - dad to one of the patients, I guess - making repeated and extended eye contact with me.

Guess I'm a gutless wonder...


Or maybe you're just 'way too hot and you instantaneously suck the heterosexuality right out of them.
Like a bad penny, some things just keep coming back.
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Postby sammyboy » Sat Feb 07, 2009 6:54 pm

crankycurmudgeon wrote:
sammyboy wrote:I got the very strong feeling I was being cruised one day at Wal Mart. This really good-looking kid - er, young man in his mid to late 20's - made eye contact with me from across the dairy section...

Who knows, maybe he was just trying to look tough when I looked up the first time...

A few month's later I took my older son to the pediatrician and found another hot-looking younger guy - dad to one of the patients, I guess - making repeated and extended eye contact with me.

Guess I'm a gutless wonder...


Or maybe you're just 'way too hot and you instantaneously suck the heterosexuality right out of them.


Yeah, don't I ever wish!!
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Postby jkav » Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:04 am

I was watching one of our tellers helping a customer yesterday. This guy was in jeans and a flannel work shirt, covered in dirt, and had a nice goatee going.

As soon as he started talking to the teller, I suspected he might be gay. But what sealed the deal (at least in my mind) was when the teller pulled up his accout information, and his password was "LES MIS."

If I hadn't been at work, I would have probably tried to chat him up for a few minutes.
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Postby LtotheP » Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:10 pm

jkav wrote:I was watching one of our tellers helping a customer yesterday. This guy was in jeans and a flannel work shirt, covered in dirt, and had a nice goatee going.

As soon as he started talking to the teller, I suspected he might be gay. But what sealed the deal (at least in my mind) was when the teller pulled up his accout information, and his password was "LES MIS."

If I hadn't been at work, I would have probably tried to chat him up for a few minutes.


Whats Les Mis?
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Postby furface » Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:19 pm

Les Miserables the musical, son. :roll: Turn in your gay card and back away now; and no one will get hurt. :lol:
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Postby LtotheP » Wed Jun 03, 2009 1:13 am

furface wrote:Les Miserables the musical, son. :roll: Turn in your gay card and back away now; and no one will get hurt. :lol:


HAHA - but I like my gay card! Ive finally at that point! you aint taking it now!
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Postby nimby » Wed Jun 03, 2009 7:12 pm

Then we're all gonna chip in and send you to a broadway show!!! :P
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Postby LtotheP » Wed Jul 01, 2009 12:19 am

Why cant we all just wear *$#*@# name tags already?

This is frustrating me beyond belief...
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Postby glas_scot » Wed Jul 01, 2009 8:07 am

A friend of mine guessed I was gay last week. He noticed that I never say anything when some friends see a hot chick in a bar and that I never give a second look. He just put 2 + 2 together. He had noticed for a while but didn't excatly want to blurt out "Oh by the way, I KNOW!"

So I guess thats one way of working it out. :)
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Postby ispeaktexan » Wed Jul 01, 2009 2:01 pm

To be honest my gaydar works without me being aware of it. I don't specifically try to notice things, but it doesn't matter how masculine/feminine the guy is, most of the time im right.

On a couple of different occasions I believed a guy to be gay/bi, and just began to be friendly with them. After getting their number(s) and becoming friends I am told after a while that they aren't gay. Each every time, we lost contact for a good while and several months later when we start talking again, they tell me that they were in fact into guys just didn't want to admit it. That's happened to me with I believe 4 guys. I guess its pretty repetitive. I've met many guys that you just wouldn't expect to be into guys, but I get a feeling around them. Sounds stupid I know...anyone else experienced what im talking about?
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Postby Daknee » Wed Jul 01, 2009 9:27 pm

For me my gardar works pretty well when I'm out and about and see a guy I'm not interested in. For some reason I'm 99% sure they'd be gay. However when I see a guy I'm attracted to my gaydar goes Pffft!!! and jams up. LOL! Part of the reason, I guess, I'm still single. :lol:
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Postby ispeaktexan » Wed Jul 01, 2009 9:37 pm

Daknee wrote:For me my gardar works pretty well when I'm out and about and see a guy I'm not interested in. For some reason I'm 99% sure they'd be gay. However when I see a guy I'm attracted to my gaydar goes Pffft!!! and jams up. LOL! Part of the reason, I guess, I'm still single. :lol:


I have the good luck that every guy i have found attractive has turned out to like guys. I think its good because it stops me from liking straight guys. Even the masculine straight acting discreet ones i have had no problem telling...i dont know how. But this one person i was hung over i felt it, and later found out he was bi & geez i wanted him so bad. He was perfection, but he has a bf and theyre going strong.
Now im fine being single for now.
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Re: How do you know if a guy is gay?

Postby JW » Sun Jul 05, 2009 3:48 pm

Well, here in the Netherlands you don't know untill you're in bed with him, I guess.

Straight boys check out straight boys, to check out what they're wearing and what they're carrying.
Straight boy will argue with his girlfriend over which jeans to buy "No, that colour doesn't go with my new shirt, it just isn't the right shade of blue"
Straight boys here can hold your stare for longer than yóu can!
And a shoulder-rub from the straight waiter while your table of friends is deciding what to order, yep it has happened once or twice.

It's a different world overhere...

As for my Gaydar: well, it works to the extend that it knows when a gay guy comes into range. And then it sends out an alert : "Dive! Dive! Dive!", because Dutch gay guys are obnoxious, full stop.

Needless to say but I'm still single..... :mrgreen:
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Re: How do you know if a guy is gay?

Postby ispeaktexan » Sun Jul 05, 2009 4:02 pm

JW wrote:Well, here in the Netherlands you don't know untill you're in bed with him, I guess.

Straight boys check out straight boys, to check out what they're wearing and what they're carrying.
Straight boy will argue with his girlfriend over which jeans to buy "No, that colour doesn't go with my new shirt, it just isn't the right shade of blue"
Straight boys here can hold your stare for longer than yóu can!
And a shoulder-rub from the straight waiter while your table of friends is deciding what to order, yep it has happened once or twice.

It's a different world overhere...

As for my Gaydar: well, it works to the extend that it knows when a gay guy comes into range. And then it sends out an alert : "Dive! Dive! Dive!", because Dutch gay guys are obnoxious, full stop.

Needless to say but I'm still single..... :mrgreen:


So am i...and its not so different than it is here.

Its funny to say, but straight guys often check out other guys, i guess to see if they're competition? I don't know. But i know they do it because ive heard plenty of my straight friends say "i like this girl, but she has a boyfriend. Should i go for her? Her boyfriends ugly anyway, he has bushy eyebrows crooked teeth, and my body's better. Plus it doesn't look like he can satisfy her with that".

Then im thinking...why would he think this critically about a guy, and i ask, and they just say they're being competetive. LOL. Ive heard that from 3 different straight guys.
So i don't know. But many of the straight guys here are very metro. Most of them look gayer than i do! & I thought i was the gay one.
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Re: How do you know if a guy is gay?

Postby Daknee » Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:54 am

ispeaktexan wrote:
JW wrote:Well, here in the Netherlands you don't know untill you're in bed with him, I guess.

Straight boys check out straight boys, to check out what they're wearing and what they're carrying.
Straight boy will argue with his girlfriend over which jeans to buy "No, that colour doesn't go with my new shirt, it just isn't the right shade of blue"
Straight boys here can hold your stare for longer than yóu can!
And a shoulder-rub from the straight waiter while your table of friends is deciding what to order, yep it has happened once or twice.

It's a different world overhere...

As for my Gaydar: well, it works to the extend that it knows when a gay guy comes into range. And then it sends out an alert : "Dive! Dive! Dive!", because Dutch gay guys are obnoxious, full stop.

Needless to say but I'm still single..... :mrgreen:


So am i...and its not so different than it is here.

Its funny to say, but straight guys often check out other guys, i guess to see if they're competition? I don't know. But i know they do it because ive heard plenty of my straight friends say "i like this girl, but she has a boyfriend. Should i go for her? Her boyfriends ugly anyway, he has bushy eyebrows crooked teeth, and my body's better. Plus it doesn't look like he can satisfy her with that".

Then im thinking...why would he think this critically about a guy, and i ask, and they just say they're being competetive. LOL. Ive heard that from 3 different straight guys.
So i don't know. But many of the straight guys here are very metro. Most of them look gayer than i do! & I thought i was the gay one.


Here's and article I found kinda supporting what you say about straigt guys checking out other guys.

http://www.kottke.org/07/03/men-look-at-crotches
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Re: How do you know if a guy is gay?

Postby ispeaktexan » Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:00 am

i dont look at crotch first...i look at face, then body structure, etc.

is it the same for everyone or just me?
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Re: How do you know if a guy is gay?

Postby Daknee » Mon Jul 06, 2009 12:54 pm

ispeaktexan wrote:i dont look at crotch first...i look at face, then body structure, etc.

is it the same for everyone or just me?

I look at the face first too. A face can tell alot about a person. Then the body.
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Re: How do you know if a guy is gay?

Postby ispeaktexan » Mon Jul 06, 2009 2:01 pm

yeah thats true. i actually dont really care for the package much...well im definately not a size queen.
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Re:

Postby PhillyAgenda » Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:38 am

ispeaktexan wrote:
I have the good luck that every guy i have found attractive has turned out to like guys. I think its good because it stops me from liking straight guys. Even the masculine straight acting discreet ones i have had no problem telling...i dont know how.

I want some of your luck. I just don't think I pick up on things that well. I'm always wondering how many opportunities I've missed out on with another masculine guy who may have been interested. And if I do notice, I probably wouldn't know where to go from there. Seems like a delicate game, like walking a goddamn tightrope.
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Re: Re:

Postby ispeaktexan » Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:55 am

PhillyAgenda wrote:
ispeaktexan wrote:
I have the good luck that every guy i have found attractive has turned out to like guys. I think its good because it stops me from liking straight guys. Even the masculine straight acting discreet ones i have had no problem telling...i dont know how.

I want some of your luck. I just don't think I pick up on things that well. I'm always wondering how many opportunities I've missed out on with another masculine guy who may have been interested. And if I do notice, I probably wouldn't know where to go from there. Seems like a delicate game, like walking a goddamn tightrope.


The bad thing is i can usually tell but i dont know how to make moves:/

Im having trouble knowing whether this guy is gay or not. It sucks. He works at the university. Hes middle eastern i think...maybe indian. His indianness is throwing me of. But hes cute. I told him my classes were ending and he seemed sad that he wouldnt see me anymore. I told him i still had to come monday and he told me to make sure i visit him monday. We have casual conversations but not alot. He doesnt seem gay but my friend thinks he likes me and i kinda agree. I hope so...i guess ill find out monday. Im going to ask for his number. Ill see where this goes.
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Re: How do you know if a guy is gay?

Postby LtotheP » Thu Aug 20, 2009 3:59 pm

Does anyone else get weirded out when straight guys ask about crushes?

Is this normal?
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Re: How do you know if a guy is gay?

Postby nimby » Thu Aug 20, 2009 6:16 pm

Why get wierded out? All it means is that no one is as straight as they let on. I think it's exciting. It's spreading and that means all the more for all of us :P .
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Re: How do you know if a guy is gay?

Postby ispeaktexan » Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:10 pm

If they are open minded i think its pretty normal...
I've had it happen.
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Re: How do you know if a guy is gay?

Postby WED » Sun Oct 25, 2009 4:38 pm

Online it might be easier than in person. Here are a few things to look for:
- use of any of the following: OMG, BFF or XOX while texting
- "hawt" instead of "hot"
- "kewl" instead of "cool"
- refers to other dudes as "bitches" with no intention of kicking their ass
- profile lists any of the following as favorite TV: Sex in the CIty, Project Runway, Ugly Betty or Deadliest Catch
- final line while texting = "toodles"
- profile picture shot with pre-staged lighting
- amazon wish list: rainbow toaster coozie, lady ga ga bobblehead
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