If you could be 20 yrs old again . . .

There's a lot of discussions about "internalized homophobia" going on here. Talk about racism, prejudice, religion, and all that's on your mind. Now you have a new place to gab.

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Postby Schlodesss » Sun May 17, 2009 2:42 pm

nimby wrote:
But no one is obliged to me. Every day I walk around like a zombie with a prepetual lump in my throat, constantly on the verge of tears, wondering what if I did things differently. Even crying in the car on the way home. And my health is suffereing for it. Diabetes, hypertension, liver condition (and I don't even drink!!!) and now a growth on my colon. Perfect. Now I know that unhappiness takes a toll on your body and mind. So please don't be too quick to judge us closeted bi guys as ones who want it all, cause believe it or not, sometimes we actually we have the least.



I don't judge closeted married guys... or well.. I try not to. What I am.. is..

I am furious with society for forcing people into situations they never should have chosen [to be] in.... and it deeply saddens me to read what you just typed... if you weren't so damn far away i'd take ya out for a coffee or beer or somethin.... just to talk and BS.. I see guys like you and wonder just how many are *REALLY* out there and will tell no one and take it to their grave... and I wonder if one of these men might have been my match, or someones match, or... and no one will ever get the chance to know the real person that was inside that body... because of an opinion a large part of society had that created enough fear to cripple the person emotionally and cause them not not live as they were meant to..

The entire world suffers for this every day..
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Postby nimby » Sun May 17, 2009 4:15 pm

Thanks for that. I really appreciate it.

And it would shock you to realize actually how many of us their are. Both males and females. But things are changing for the better. Anything I can do to help that change along, I do. I wanted a family, and I have one. But my wife and I try to raise our children not to see only black and white, but shades of grey too. Recently we were watching, "My big fat gay wedding," a reality show on gay weddings here in Canada. And of course my 11 y/o daughter had questions. I just explained that sometimes men fall in love with men, or women with women, or a man and a woman. It doesn't really matter as long as you love each other. And she goes, "Oh, so it's no big deal?" I said no. I want her and my other child to learn to not be judgemental of peolpe and their choices, and not to be afraid to make their own choices in life. And I think it's working. I know there are a few closeted gays in our family, and we see them struggle. But in very general language, we let it be known that we believe that everyone deserves acceptance, and not judgement. Maybe they'll come out one day, but on their own terms. We just want them to know that there are no worries from us. From the rest of our staunch orthodox catholic family? Look out!!!

I realize how lucky I am to have found a wife who shares the same beliefs that I do. Believe me, our marriage is not perfect. we still argue about regular studd about chores, $$ spending, and the usual, but that happens in all marriages, gay or straight. But regrets, I really don't know what I'd do differently. All I know is that I'm doing what I can now to makes things right. What if are the two most dangerous words in the english language, and a lifetime in a long time to be sad.
"Why do we have asteroids in the hemisphere and hemmorroids in the a$$ ? "
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Postby LtotheP » Mon May 18, 2009 2:40 pm

This thread scares the hell out of me... Im 20 in 6 days. Although it gives me an incite what I should be doing...
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Postby foxeyes2 » Mon May 18, 2009 3:35 pm

LtotheP wrote:This thread scares the hell out of me... Im 20 in 6 days. Although it gives me an incite what I should be doing...


Well you can learn from our missteps and regrets. Live life to the fullest, don't be ashamed of who you are, love yourself, love others, take chances and oh love yourself.
We are all one tribe. We are all one people.
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Postby nimby » Mon May 18, 2009 4:10 pm

Absolutely the best!!!!!

foxeyes2 wrote:
Well you can learn from our missteps and regrets. Live life to the fullest, don't be ashamed of who you are, love yourself, love others, take chances and oh love yourself.
"Why do we have asteroids in the hemisphere and hemmorroids in the a$$ ? "
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