Any qualms receiving a dead person's stuff?

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Any qualms receiving a dead person's stuff?

Postby nimby » Mon Apr 25, 2011 4:05 pm

I got a new bike today. The young widow accross the street gave me her late husband's mountain bike. He was a very nice guy whom I was just getting to know when he quickly passed away from cancer a few years ago at age 32.

She has given me some of his clothes and stuff as she just couldn't bear to throw it out, and his his little twin boys are over at my place playing all the time, so I kinda feel obligated, but none the less, sometimes get the willies. Anyone else have these feelings?
"Why do we have asteroids in the hemisphere and hemmorroids in the a$$ ? "
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Re: Any qualms receiving a dead person's stuff?

Postby Rico » Mon Apr 25, 2011 8:19 pm

Not at all. I still have some of my uncle's "Florida wear" that I kept after he died. The memories they bring back just holding them are precious. I only wish I had kept more of his things. Same with some of my dad's things. I wish I had kept more.
In the Beginning there was nothing, and God said: 'Let there be Light." There was still nothing, but you could see it.
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Re: Any qualms receiving a dead person's stuff?

Postby DeckApe » Tue Apr 26, 2011 11:40 am

I suppose it really depends on what it is. I have my Dad's camera (film, so its use is limited anymore) and his golf clubs, which I never use because, quite honestly, they're too short for me. I can't wear any of his clothing because I'm too large, but I have some of his tools.

I also have my grandfather's desk.
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Re: Any qualms receiving a dead person's stuff?

Postby madsglen » Fri Apr 29, 2011 11:50 am

I guess it depends on the person, the "stuff" and how/why it was received. I have a very few things from family members but they all have special significance to me. And some have funny stories and memories attached to them. I still wear a shirt of my Dad's sometimes. A couple of things are placed or displayed where I see them all the time. And a dearly missed friend of mine left me most of his Christmas ornaments a number of years ago. Although he was much more of a "Christmas queen" (his term, not mine) than I will ever, ever be I do make myself bring them out every year to honor his memory and smile at how much he enjoyed them.
The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek - Joseph Campbell
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Re: Any qualms receiving a dead person's stuff?

Postby Keeper » Sat Apr 30, 2011 6:09 am

nimby wrote:I got a new bike today. The young widow accross the street gave me her late husband's mountain bike. He was a very nice guy whom I was just getting to know when he quickly passed away from cancer a few years ago at age 32.

Died at 32? wow. that's really sad :-(
I would feel a little weird about receiving his stuff. But I know that weird feeling is illogical. You might think of ways of thanking the wife by helping, for a while, with some of the chores that her late husband might have done. Maybe take out her garbage, or maybe mow her lawn a few times.
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Re: Any qualms receiving a dead person's stuff?

Postby nimby » Sat Apr 30, 2011 4:29 pm

Yeah, he died of Angioblastoma. Exactly 31 days from the day of diagnosis to the day he died. It really freaked me out at the time. Now I baby sit his twin boys (aged 8 ) all the time, fixed their bikes and prepped them for spring fun.and am even good friends with his sister and mother. Sometimes when they ask questions about their dad, I try to answer as best I can about where he is now. Stuff like that I couldn't do when my Dad died when I was 10. Everyone thought best to erase any evidence of him when I was a kid. Mom even got remarried one year later. What a disaster that was.

I have lots of stuff from relatives that have passed on that I have no problems with, grand parents' furniture and china, my dad's tools, and I just hung up my dad's favourite hat on a hook right by my front door, but I guess the widow across the street likes to give his stuff to me, so I'll not mind anymore and just use what I like and secretly dispose of the stuff I won't. It's just that I know how hard he fought to stay and i think sometimes I pick up on those vibes. Weird.
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