my fem BF won't bottom... wtf

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my fem BF won't bottom... wtf

Postby curves4men » Wed Dec 01, 2010 7:15 am

hey all,

so i'm in a relationship with a pretty effeminate guy. i'm 25, he's 30. problem is: he won't bottom...

we've been together for over a year now, and it's starting to really bug me. i really want to experience him in every way possible. i actually really wanted try topping him at the beginning, but it was a no no. When we got together, i bottomed first, to lighten the mood. (maybe that was my mistake.) but the second time we did it, he said that "he really wanted it," (i.e. my penis up his butt) but that "he was afraid because it's been a long time." he said that bottoming "happened a lot" for him in the past. a few times i tried to initiate me topping him, but it just turned into a limp fest--he went limp, then i went limp, it got awkward, then we both went to sleep unhappy. then he said that he would be willing to do it at another time.

about 6 months in, i brought up this subject with him, and we argued, and basically he changed his attitude from "i'll do it later" to "fine, i just don't want to do it, ok!?" so ever since then, we never spoke about it. If i had known about his real feelings, i wouldn't have started the relationship with him. i can't help but feel like he lied to me to get me in this relationship.

anyway, now it's really starting to bug me. but i don't even think that him bottoming would change things. even if he were willing to bottom, i cannot imagine either of us enjoying it, because his attitude is such a turn off. what really bugs me is that he said he bottomed a lot before. so basically, my frustration can be summed up as, "why-the-fu** not me?" i guess this post so far may seem whiny, but I'm far from that. i've been extremely patient, and now it's to the point that i might look elsewhere for satisfaction or just call the relationship quits.

well, now that i've vented, i kinda forgot why i wanted to talk about this. maybe i just needed to vent. thanks for reading this far. thoughts?
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Re: my fem BF won't bottom... wtf

Postby Phoenix6570 » Sat Dec 04, 2010 1:17 pm

My suggestion is to simply sit down and have a discussion with him about it. Try not to let it escalate to an argument. Just let him know this is a big concern for you and how its impacting the relationship.
"As long as a person doesn't admit he's defeated, he is not defeated-- he's just a little behind, and isn't through fighting" ~ Darrel Royal
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Re: my fem BF won't bottom... wtf

Postby curves4men » Mon Dec 06, 2010 6:42 am

Hi Phoenix,

thanks for taking the time to read my post. i do think it will probably come to that.
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