effeminate openly gay black men

Are all hairdressers fem boys? Are all construction workers macho? Explore stereotypes on these and other issues here.

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Postby Gaydudelaf » Wed Jul 12, 2006 5:42 pm

ArtChicagodude wrote:
medic wrote:After all that, you still cannot answer my question, WHAT WAS THE PURPOSE OF YOUR POST? After all your posturing(which i can only conclude you also do in real life) you still have not answered my question.
And i guess that any black man that doesnt allow some backwater midwestern klansman to say any thing he wants has a stick up his ass. So be it. And I am sure that Jesse Jackson et al concurs.

g



Hi, Medic.

Maybe you should try mentioning and discussing all the stereotypes about straight-acting men in general...or stereotypes about white men in general?
(Yes, there's a whole lot of things that straight-acting men allegedly do/are known for in the gay community...)

Let's see if certain people are as open-minded as they claim to be, once we talk about stereotypes that touch them personally...


Ah dont forget Frat boys!
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Postby Lesley R. Charles » Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:16 am

medic, leave off the attacks. Consider this my first warning to you. Bramasole Iowa is entitled to his opinion whether you agree with it or not. Discuss opposing viewpoints. As this is about stereotypes and whether they are right or wrong, Bramasole Iowa is on topic.
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Postby skanedd » Fri Jul 14, 2006 5:34 pm

I'm gonna call a split decision between the two sides. I've met plenty of gay black guys who are SA, though it may be attributed to circles I roll in. I don't think it's a matter of race that some people think otherwise though. None of us can deny that the SA types, regardless of race, don't telegraph (in the boxing sense) their preference. The more effeminate types skyline themselves, so you ALWAYS notice them.
I'll admit that I have more white aquaintances than I do non, so by sheer probability I know more white SA types, where as I probably miss most others. (It's not a function of racism, it's that I have more in common, culturally with other crackers) What I'm trying to say is that unless any of us has really sat down and looked objectively, we can't possibly know what the demographics is.
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Postby selective_soldier » Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:13 am

I don't pretend to be a mind reader. I think Bramasole_iowa's starting this thread was a quandry as to why the openly gay black men he encoutered were effiminate..


& my analysis is; The disdain, the stigma you may hear from time 2 time amongst "some" blacks about their opinon of homosexuality, (especially from your modern day rap lyrics) gives you an idea of how "some"(not all), blacks feel about gays.

So it's not a wonder that some people who live in communites where the numbers of blacks are sparce to begin with, the only gay blacks they see are the effeminate ones who don't give a sh!t about who knows their sexual orientation.
Last edited by selective_soldier on Mon Jul 17, 2006 8:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Brandon » Mon Jul 17, 2006 11:12 am

This is an interesting thread.... I had never really given it much thought before. Looking back on all those years of being out and about I really do not ever recall meeting a black gay man who was not effeminate.

Having lived in many areas of the South and meeting many gay men (black, white, purple, etc...) I really don't think there were many masculine gay black men. In fact, the only drag queen I ever really liked was a black guy in Atlanta.

Even with all that said, I still don't instantly think of all black gay men as immediately being effeminate.

Again,... interesting thread.
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Postby Gaydudelaf » Mon Jul 17, 2006 6:50 pm

Brandon wrote:This is an interesting thread.... I had never really given it much thought before. Looking back on all those years of being out and about I really do not ever recall meeting a black gay man who was not effeminate.

Having lived in many areas of the South and meeting many gay men (black, white, purple, etc...) I really don't think there were many masculine gay black men. In fact, the only drag queen I ever really liked was a black guy in Atlanta.

Even with all that said, I still don't instantly think of all black gay men as immediately being effeminate.

Again,... interesting thread.


Oh god! I have several black and interacial friends who are gay and very masculine.
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Postby Bramasole_iowa » Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:19 pm

Brandon wrote:In fact, the only drag queen I ever really liked was a black guy in Atlanta.

Vernon Wall?

Brandon wrote:Even with all that said, I still don't instantly think of all black gay men as immediately being effeminate.

Neither do I, just that most of the ones I am acquainted with and most of the ones I see are.
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Postby pharoah_seti » Sun Jul 23, 2006 1:08 pm

Black gay men in the village are horribly effeminate ,they do that sh*t with there hands like butterflies and skipping and its oddly gross
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Postby UnRepublicanstraightactor » Wed Aug 23, 2006 7:09 pm

olywaguy wrote:Washington doesn't have a very large black population either. Most of the black community is located in Tacoma...Olympia has hardly any blacks.


Um... doesn't Seattle warrant at least a mention? Have you ever even been there...?
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Postby Jesse » Sun Sep 10, 2006 12:29 am

when i saw the tite of this thread all i could think of was marcellus from big brother fame. can you believe he's a top? lol.

anyway, then mike from work came to mind. he's an african american dude that works the graveyard shift. i've wondered about him for a while. he's very butch but there's something that makes me wonder about him. i don't know if he's single or married but he makes me tingly whenever i see him. lol. it's that feeling when you get when you have a certain feeling about someone. i want to talk to him but he works grave and i rarely see him.
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Postby Negate » Sun Sep 10, 2006 2:50 am

Oh Bramsole you're so cute! I need to say this...there's a reason why ppl still live there probably to get away from blacks...sorry I’ve always wanted to say that. With that racist opinion out of the way lol.

I would like to say to Bram man, don't believe all the stereotypes about black men. It's a pressing thing to act as butch as possible in the African American community and it seems due to that reason the blur line is now just only two parties...The barbarian butch guys and the Pixies lol. One day when you are in a city where the black population is more prominent check things out you find out we masculine black men are out there :wink: .
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Postby Creature » Sat Sep 30, 2006 11:12 am

Just some thoughts

You are not going to be able to tell who's openly gay or not if there are "straight acting" guys everywhere. I mean, if a guy is "straight acting", you are going to assume he is straight when looking at him. So, based on your observations alone, you would naturally assume all openly gay black men are effeminate. Mind you, who says swishing the hips is femme anyway? Seriously. How many women do you know that actually swish their hips like gay men? have you ever considered that maybe women swish their hips like gay men to attract guys????

Maybe "gay" is it's own gender identity that has little to do with masculine or feminine. Maybe being gay is a bridge between two worlds.
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Postby furface » Sat Sep 30, 2006 1:26 pm

Creature posited:
Maybe being gay is a bridge between two worlds.

If that's the case, society of late seems to be burning it from both ends.
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Postby Negate » Sat Sep 30, 2006 2:38 pm

furface wrote:Creature posited:
Maybe being gay is a bridge between two worlds.

If that's the case, society of late seems to be burning it from both ends.


Well said.
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Postby BlackmanXXX » Wed Nov 01, 2006 6:31 pm

I know plenty. They're pretty cool !
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Postby FRE » Mon Dec 25, 2006 4:40 pm

I lived in Fiji from 1994 - 2004. It's almost impossible to get a random sample, but my impression is that most of the gay men in Fiji were effeminate, regardless of ethnicity. They often dressed in a very bizarre manner. Ethnic Fijians look like black Africans; most of the rest have ancestors from India.

A gay activist, who was very well-built and masculine, tried to start a rowing team for gay men. He said it lasted only 2 weeks. The others noticed that they were developing visible muscles and thought that gay men shouldn't appear muscular!

On the other hand, when I was in Sydney a few times, the gay men there in the Oxford Street area seemed hyper-masculine. I'd see them entering gay clubs while wearing clothing obviously intended to show their muscles. Many paraded their muscular physiques on the street.

It's likely that many gay men act in terms of what's expected of them. If they think that gay men should act effeminate, they do so, etc.
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Postby Odeh » Tue Dec 26, 2006 12:08 am

...or maybe what is valued in Fiji culture vs. Australian culture? or what each culture is exposed to in terms of what "gay" is?
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Postby Lesley R. Charles » Sat Oct 25, 2008 9:00 am

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Postby Phoenix6570 » Mon Oct 27, 2008 12:17 pm

The few gay black men that I've seen around campus have all been effeminate. I myself happen to be masculine but I'm not out to everyone. I can't really make a generalization as to why anyway.
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Postby dracuscalico » Thu Oct 30, 2008 4:10 am

Gay society is f'ed up because they want guys to LOOK as masculine as possible but they shoot each other down for BEING masculine by denying one another their masculinity with a, "you're not any better than me" mentality and call each other by female pronouns as a passive aggressive reminder(warning) not to try to act TOO manly because they'll cut you down for it.
Sissies behave the way they do as an affectation. No matter what the race. The over the top thing is just:

competing for shock value and attention,

making fun of themselves in a more extreme way than anyone else can, the way fat people do, so "no one can hurt them" with comments,

and it's also an intimidation tactic. People give them what they want, because they don't want to be a part of the SCENE they are causing.

Plus if you are EXTREME, bashers are afraid to be seen anywhere near you. They are scared off by the freakish display.

Just like when that lizard that runs at the camera with it's wings spread, it's a pre-emptive strike, an AGGRESSIVE Defense, before the Offense attacks them.


(Think about this.....if you're dressed up like a girl and behaving like a girl for Halloween, and a bunch of guys walking past you on the street call you "sissy or faggot", it might hurt your feelings SOME, but it would hurt your feelings a LOT MORE if they did that while you were in normal clothes doing normal guy things. For guys who are NATURALLY somewhat feminine, that could become an ongoing problem, so they throw in the towel on trying to blend in like normal guys and take everything to the feminine extreme.)
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effeminate openly gay black men

Postby Alliano Kiniea » Mon Dec 01, 2008 2:39 pm

olywaguy wrote:For the past two years I've served as a judge for the Most of the black community is located in Tacoma..


aaha yea, i spent my teen years on hilltop.

but anyway, yea one of my employees is a real fem young black dude,

and the best part is, he doesnt think anybody knows hes gay.
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Postby dracuscalico » Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:34 pm

Has he actually told someone or indicated specifically that he is gay or does he merely fit a feminine stereotype? Gay and sissy are not the same thing, though people try to make it out to be that way.
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Postby Alliano Kiniea » Wed Dec 03, 2008 2:18 pm

him and my friend juan went on a few dates.

but oh yea, when i first met dude, i wouldnt 'sissy' to describe dude,

but talking to dude, you catch that exact same feel from him like talking to a woman, like when he comes to work with a sad face, I use the same humor and tactics (actually kind of flirtacious) to make him smile.
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Postby PhillyAgenda » Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:27 pm

Creature wrote:Just some thoughts

You are not going to be able to tell who's openly gay or not if there are "straight acting" guys everywhere. I mean, if a guy is "straight acting", you are going to assume he is straight when looking at him. So, based on your observations alone, you would naturally assume all openly gay black men are effeminate.

That pretty much sums it up for me. Same applies to heterosexuals who assume all gay men (white or black) are fem. They have become accustomed to thinking that gay men all act a certain way. So they're not gonna know a masculine guy is gay unless they actually ask them. And being masculine or straight acting or whatever you wanna call it doesn't automatically mean a guy is closeted.

I'm a black gay guy. I'm also masculine (straight acting). And as far as I know, people always assumed I was straight. I don't mention my sexuality a lot but I've told plenty of people about it. My parents know, my brother knows, my close friends know, and several people at work know I'm gay. If people ask, I tell them.
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Postby dracuscalico » Sun Dec 07, 2008 10:17 pm

PhillyAgenda wrote:
Creature wrote:Just some thoughts


I'm a black gay guy. I'm also masculine (straight acting). And as far as I know, people always assumed I was straight. I don't mention my sexuality a lot but I've told plenty of people about it. My parents know, my brother knows, my close friends know, and several people at work know I'm gay. If people ask, I tell them.


Sounds like you've mentioned it a lot from what you are saying.... :twisted:
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