Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

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Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

Postby glas_scot » Wed Apr 21, 2010 10:04 am

Well, this is one stereotype that for one I feel to be almost certain.

I have been using certain *dating* sites for almost 2 years now and have yet to come across ONE man who is either looking for JUST friendship or a real relationship. Obviously they are out there (we are a rare breed), but I am getting sick to death of the standard "Hi, how are you, wanna f**k?!" Is there anyone out there that can go on a date(s) and not jump on each others bones within 30 seconds of meeting each other?

About a year ago I had been chatting with a guy online for a couple of weeks. We were both just looking for friends, not a relationship or a one night stand. So I agree to meet up with him for a pint and hopefully create a friendship. So we chatted for I think it must have not even be 15 minutes before his hand was on my knee and he invited me to see his bedroom. I kindly said no and he left by saying "thanks for wasting my time."

And more recently, in fact last week. I had been messaging a guy online who seemed completely decent etc etc etc. He asked for my number and as soon as I got it I got a message asking for phone sex!

Anyone else on here get where I'm coming from or willing to share any similiar experiences? Discuss! :)
--Steve
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Re: Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

Postby butch » Wed Apr 21, 2010 2:42 pm

I think it is extremely unlikely one will ever meet a friend on any kind of sex oriented web site. It's possible... maybe, to meet a friend through a social network like YouTube or FaceBook but I think it is rare.

Friendships often develop after the sex part
... i.e. you have sex but find that once you get to know the person the allure for sex vanishes but you have common interests.

I don't think friendship is likely with anyone to whom you are sexually attracted. Most people don't want a close friend, they want a sex partner... i.e. friends with benefits. I've had friends like that... straight and gay. They are friends I don't know all that well/closely, but we know each other and often the reason we spend time together has more to do with the sex than anything else. They are a good type of friend, in a way, because there are NO emotional hangups... it's just sex.

If you want to meet a friend where sex isn't the reason for the friendship, there MUST be some common something or other... usually an interest such as a sport or hobby you both enjoy. It gets harder to meet people the older one gets. Get involved in things that are community based and talk to lots of people and friendships may develop but, otherwise, it's all about sex.

So... the answer is YES. Gay men are as sex mad as they say.
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Re: Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

Postby ispeaktexan » Wed Apr 21, 2010 7:47 pm

I believe the same thing...
I'm not sex crazed, but it seems I can't find any gay men that aren't.
I wish i could just find a normal guy looking for a relationship, but i guess that's weird.
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Re: Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

Postby nimby » Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:49 pm

As a rule, men are sexual creatures, and there's only one thing preventing them from getting as much sex as they want...Women. Now remove them from the equation men have as much sex as they want. :D .

But seriously, I've learned that for men, sex comes first, and if that works out, then friendship follows. I'm not saying it's right, just that it seems to be the way it is with gay men.
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Re: Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

Postby ispeaktexan » Wed Apr 21, 2010 11:12 pm

Hmm guess i'm not a man then, cause i don't think of sex first.
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Re: Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

Postby Earl Butz » Thu Apr 22, 2010 5:43 am

I think straights ie. women have this problem as well. My sister said her husband was the only guy she met in university who didn't want to jump in the sack right away. She went out with several losers before finding him.

I think dating sites are a waste of time....you can't try to force something that should occur naturally. Join a gay whatever group and do some activity or volunteer and try to find someone that way.
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Re: Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

Postby backpacker » Thu Apr 22, 2010 12:02 pm

I think that is true. I wish sometimes that I had gay guy friends to hang out with regularly but I don't. I know of gay guys that I've worked with and we do the social network thing but have never asked each other to hang out. Knowing what I know now, don't think I would be as eager to hop into bed asap. My partner has been with many guys but he rarely sees or hangs out with anyone he's been with.
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Re: Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

Postby qwertz » Fri May 21, 2010 5:37 pm

Probably not, but I admit I feel more for a guy mad about sex than for any other guy. It's a guy thing.
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Re: Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

Postby exairman » Thu Jul 01, 2010 3:22 pm

I'm not sex mad, but I am happy to go along with it when it happens, so it has never been a problem with me. Finding guys that want to talk and have some type of non-physical connection has been rare.

I have had a couple of cases of guys who really want the relationship, only they start throwing around the word "boyfriend" after the second date, and dropping the L-word on the third. Trust me, when that happens you would rather have the guy that just uses you for sex.
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Re: Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

Postby Phoenix6570 » Sun Jul 04, 2010 12:06 pm

I would have to say yes gay men are sex mad. I used to be that way myself up until recently. I don't condemn anyone for it. Sex is natural and if thats the route you wish to take it in fine. I however don't feel that way anymore. Now I want something more meaningful and important. At times I feel like anything else is a waste of time when i could be doing something productive.
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Re: Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

Postby nimby » Sun Jul 04, 2010 7:00 pm

I don't think that gay guys are more sex crazed than anyone else, just that it's more readily available to them. Believe me, I know lots of straights who are having plenty of sex too, even the unmarried ones. :D
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Re: Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

Postby Marvinteck » Sun Oct 31, 2010 11:17 am

I would agree sex would be nice but truth be told I can get myself off pretty good when Im alone. As an bachelor I crave emotional intimacy and physical touch like hugging or snuggling. Im a hopeless romantic pretty much. I have heard numerous complaints on online forums about how other gay guys just want to have sex and one night stands though. Its the four F's: Find them, Feel them, F**k them and Forget them. People may of been hurt in the past and dont want to get hurt so they resort to one night stands to fulfill there needs. To each there own. I cant imagine going out to a bar and coming home with someone I just met to hop in the sack with them. Its just not how I roll.

I saw a Dear Abby column once where a girl had wrote in about birth control. She was complaining how it was expensive and she wanted her boyfriend to start chipping in since he was enjoying the benefits of sex as well without the risk of pregnancy. She wrote she was not close enough to talk about money matters with him yet though. I would have to say craving sex with little or no emotional connection is a human condition and not just isolated to gay men.
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Re: Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

Postby nickg77 » Thu Nov 18, 2010 8:03 am

I think gay guys do have more sex than straight ones because men naturally have a stronger sex urge. So if you have two men, it only makes sense that they are more likely to have more sex. However, this is only my opinion and I know it’s a broad over-generalisation and may not apply to everyone. I wonder if lesbians have more sex than straight women.
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Re: Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

Postby Ashpenaz » Thu Nov 18, 2010 9:52 am

I don't feel particularly sex mad, because I've pretty much kept my sex drive to myself for over 30 years. I'd like to believe that I wouldn't have sex unless there was some level of friendship involved. However, there are times when I see some guy and think, "That guy is just one 'yes' away from an afternoon of fun." It really wouldn't take much.

I'd also like to believe that masculinity means more than sex drive. I like the old-fashioned cowboy values that go along with masculinity. I want to be reliable, responsible, loyal, etc. Out here, in Nebraska, men still need to earn each other's respect. I doubt if my straight friends would care if I sowed a few wild oats, but I don't think they'd buy into the circuit party scene. I also think they're looking forward to someday going out as couples, which would mean, I'd have to be willing to be in a couple. We'd be concerned about the state of each other's relationships. Straight guys can be very loose in some ways, but they can be very committed in their marriages and steady partnerships. I sort of want my gay life to be like their straight life.
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Re: Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

Postby JakeMIke » Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:46 am

IMO, all guys are horn dogs, whether they are gay or straight. It's just the way nature has wired us - to have as much sex as possible in order to continue the species.
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Re: Are all gay guys as sex mad as they say?

Postby Ashpenaz » Thu Nov 25, 2010 8:26 am

I would like to submit the idea that though male sex drive is strong, it's not the only thing. I think there are other aspects to masculinity such as integrity, responsibility, loyalty, maturity, compassion, etc., that have also been wired into us. I'd like to believe that our sexuality can represent the best side of who we are and that our sexuality is not simply driven by the desire to spurt into as many orifices as possible. Some part of our sex drive must be driven by the desire to be compassionate and loyal as well. Most of the straight men I know define their masculinity by their faithfulness to their wives and family. A man earns the respect of other men by demonstrating stability and responsibility, not by ejaculating into whatever's handy. For me, straightacting means being loyal, responsible, mature, faithful, and strong.
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