Gay voice?

Talks about guys that are nellie.

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Do you have a gay voice?

Yes
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22%
No
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Total votes : 58

Postby edu999 » Wed Feb 15, 2006 11:01 am

I don't think I sound gay in person. HOWEVER, on the phone, I am mistaken for a woman VERY often because my voice isn't very deep at all.
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Postby Winterbourne » Wed Feb 15, 2006 1:39 pm

RedMenace wrote:This is one of the hardest things for me to confess in a medium where really none of you need ever know but here goes....

I think I sound gay-definitely. I guess I'm a bad person for saying this but it's always bugged me-painfully so. My voice is too high and there is something about the vowel "o" that makes me cringe. In fact, I even went so far as to buy some books on the way men and women communicate in an effort to change how I speak. I guess this is a big part of my insecurity in my masculinity. And believe it or not, I think I'm more secure than I used to be! :shock:

With that confession, I don't know if I carry myself in a gay way. I like to think I carry myself in a neutral way. However as this is all about your voices...yes I think I speak and the purse and high heels fly out. Alright, off to hide under a rock now. :wink:



I find this interesting because, to be honest, I previously though a gay voice was a deliberate affectation. If it's not, then what causes it? Someone should investigate this.
If it really bothers you, I'm sure you could learn to have a "butch" voice. I've heard some acting coaches teach people to talk in a certain way in order to be more successfull. Aparently some actress who was famous for having a low voice trained herself to talk that way, so I'm sure a guy could do something similar.
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Postby RedMenace » Wed Feb 15, 2006 2:00 pm

Winterbourne wrote: I find this interesting because, to be honest, I previously though a gay voice was a deliberate affectation. If it's not, then what causes it? Someone should investigate this.
If it really bothers you, I'm sure you could learn to have a "butch" voice. I've heard some acting coaches teach people to talk in a certain way in order to be more successfull. Aparently some actress who was famous for having a low voice trained herself to talk that way, so I'm sure a guy could do something similar.


Oh well, I posted this here as a kind of therapy I think. ;) I "know" that I don't have the gayest voice out there. But I also know that I won't ever do radio work, hehe. I probably exaggerated a bit-maybe it's a more of a satchel and pumps. :P That being said, it is very true that one can learn to talk differently.
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Postby edu999 » Wed Feb 15, 2006 2:40 pm

I really believe that the idea that the "gay voice" or "gay accent" is an affectation is wrong. Maybe when someone is camping it up, it's an affectation. But normal, everyday conversation? I believe that for most gay guys, it is definitely not affected speech. It's just how they talk. Why? I have no idea.

It’s also interesting to note that there is a “gay voice” or “gay accent” in a lot of different countries/languages/cultures. That leads me to believe even more strongly that it’s not an affectation.
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Postby RedMenace » Wed Feb 15, 2006 3:03 pm

I agree. It's just how you learn to talk I think-not fake talk at all. Some people will camp it up but for most I think it's just how they learned to talk growing up.
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Postby Texas_Thang » Wed Feb 15, 2006 7:05 pm

We need someone to take us up on the compilation offer...

someone who can keep a secret...
someone who is willing to add his own voice to the mix...
and someone who has somewhere to host 20+ wav files.

It could actually be a fun little game if we made it one. Guess whose voice is whose...
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Postby FuzzyScorpio » Wed Feb 15, 2006 7:50 pm

The 2nd male person (straight, far as I know) to whom I came out, I asked him if there's enything giving him a clue. He said the voice. So there is it.
I *do not* understand what you are talking about, so I'm hanging up now.
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Postby Foodude » Wed Feb 15, 2006 8:50 pm

what about people who can change their voice depending on the environment? :shock: I mean it's not hard to sound butch in a straight environment but when the person finally relaxes, their voice sounds completely different :shock:
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Postby crankycurmudgeon » Wed Feb 15, 2006 10:22 pm

I probably do. :oops: I know that in everyday conversation I tend to speak softly. When I get agitated, my voice cracks. I also don't have a very good "outdoor voice" which is a pain when I have to conduct meetings on site. Whenever I hear my voice on an answering machine or tape, I'm appalled.

Carlos can vouch for how my voice sounds on the phone. Endobrian and J can vouch for how it sounds in person.

I have a friend who is a speech pathologist and I believe that the "gay voice" for men isn't so much a single voice, but a combination of things such as intonation, syllabent (sp?) "s" sounds, etc. As others have noted, with training and practice, these can be worked around if one wants to.
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Postby RedMenace » Wed Feb 15, 2006 11:51 pm

Well y'all could have heard my voice today on Sirius. I called in to the Frank DeCaro show to talk about Willie Nelson's new song. :P I tried to go with a deep booming voice and British accent....

Ok not really.
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Postby Winterbourne » Thu Feb 16, 2006 2:58 am

Texas_Thang wrote:It could actually be a fun little game if we made it one. Guess whose voice is whose...


I could pick up a microphone sometime: I think it would be fun, but only if a whole bunch of people recorded their voice ( ten to twenty maybe ).
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Postby Texas_Thang » Thu Feb 16, 2006 7:33 am

Yeah, we'd need 10-20 guinea pigs. Otherwise it's too easy.
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Postby BlackmanXXX » Thu Feb 16, 2006 4:12 pm

I am a big and tall Black guy. I look like the son Michael Clarke Duncan and Ving Rhaymes had. I sound like Arnold would if he grew up in Black America. No, sir. I dont have a gay voice. I look, walk, and talk like a regular joe.
http://people.lulu.com/users/index.php?fHomepage=496298

I need to engage in bisexual behavior on a massive scale. It cannot be corrected but I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
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Postby ulfurinn » Fri Feb 17, 2006 5:13 pm

Texas_Thang wrote:and someone who has somewhere to host 20+ wav files.

Dude, MP3 is 15 years old. Get used to it already ;)
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Postby toothync » Fri Feb 17, 2006 8:25 pm

Oops. Well I answered yes, but only because I have a gay voice which I put on sometimes on purpose. Being an actor I use it for humorous emphasis - but only among friends who know me.

My regular speaking voice is not considered gay - and most people are surprised when I first tell them. Except if I've been very relaxed around them and let slip something I'd normally reserve for familiar company - but I don't stress about it.

I have a deep voice which people think sounds like a classical radio announcer, and I tend to talk softly and quickly, but no stereotypical "gay sounds." I have noticed however tht recently some little "gay-isms" have slipped out without my meaning them to. I pick up accents very quickly - eg if I was int eh states I'd be talking like a yank in a week I'm sure - so posibl my continued affectation for humourous purposes has affected my everyday speach.

Oh and I'd be up for the recording thing! Me me!
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Postby Jesse » Sat Feb 18, 2006 11:02 pm

i don't have a gay voice. i have two friends that are butch gay and i like to be stupid and talk gay from time to time but only because it's not my voice and to hear it come out of me is hilarious. my friend nathan does it and i can't help butlaugh so hard it hurts.

a couple weeks ago i had an incoming call from his area code. i thought it was him calling because he's the only one i know from that area code. so i answered the phone in my gayest of voices and it wasn't him. LMFAO!!!! It turns out he had used me as a reference and they were calling to veriy his references. i was extremely embarrassed.
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Postby Ben » Mon Feb 20, 2006 4:32 pm

Texas_Thang wrote:I was going to say - there are a number of people on here who have heard my voice - so, yes or no? ;)


Only when you're drunk, Paul.... :twisted:
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Postby charmcitywop » Wed Feb 22, 2006 11:04 pm

I completely empathize with everything RedMenace said. It's embarassing to admit how much my own voice bothers me.

It's nasally (I had an operation to correct my deviated septum, but I never really learned to talk without sounding like I'm holding my nose) and not very deep.

I can't bear to hear my own recorded voice. When I was preparing to leave last week I had a rush of anxiety over recording a new voice mail greeting. Sometime I leave the automated voice on and pretend I just forgot to change it. If I call home or my cell phone to check messages I always put the phone away from my ear during the part where I'm speaking.

Jonathan kept playing the DVD of our Australia trip to various members of his family. At one point I left the room and literally covered my ears until it was over.

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Postby Texas_Thang » Wed Feb 22, 2006 11:50 pm

I bet it's not as bad as you think.... most everyone thinks their voice sounds worse than it is.

Me, apparently, I camp it up when I'm drinking.
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Postby RedMenace » Thu Feb 23, 2006 12:20 pm

charmcitywop wrote:I completely empathize with everything RedMenace said. It's embarassing to admit how much my own voice bothers me.

It's nasally (I had an operation to correct my deviated septum, but I never really learned to talk without sounding like I'm holding my nose) and not very deep.

I can't bear to hear my own recorded voice. When I was preparing to leave last week I had a rush of anxiety over recording a new voice mail greeting. Sometime I leave the automated voice on and pretend I just forgot to change it. If I call home or my cell phone to check messages I always put the phone away from my ear during the part where I'm speaking.

Jonathan kept playing the DVD of our Australia trip to various members of his family. At one point I left the room and literally covered my ears until it was over.

Vince


Vince, I guess we're completely in agreement on this. It's like I was reading something I had posted myself. Although I don't have any congenital reason. I presume mine is all just learned behavior. Paul is most likely right in that it doesn't bother others as much as it does ourselves. Still...that's easy to say and not so easy to live day in and day out. I guess I'm taking it as day by day growing thing. I may or may not ever make it. And for the longest time I did phone work! At one point I started trying to talk pitched down. I guess I got in the habit of it because a cousin called at some point later and she acted surprised and commented that my voice had gotten deeper. Of course inside I'm thinking "god, you mean I was even higher before?" And the real kicker to this, is that really it wouldn't matter if 100 people told me I had the deepest, most masculine, hottest voice around. I would never be able to believe them. If I don't hear it then I won't be able to accept it. It's a nice little picture of the way we torture ourselves I guess. For us it's this, for someone else it's another thing.

Texas_Thang wrote:I bet it's not as bad as you think.... most everyone thinks their voice sounds worse than it is. Me, apparently, I camp it up when I'm drinking.


To me, you're usually drinking in a campier place. You don't really do any of that at the sports bar we go to-or I should say straight sports bar. You only "gay" it up in a gay place. Even then it's almost always to some song that's playing so to me it's just some act you're doing. Maybe you're channeling hehe. Otherwise, I really don't see it when it's just the two of us and we're out and about in non-family venues.
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Postby charmcitywop » Thu Feb 23, 2006 4:46 pm

RedMenace wrote:And for the longest time I did phone work!


It’s like the Twilight Zone! Ironically, I too used to work on the phone. I was a customer service representative with Prudential for several years. I think to my benefit, my voice came across empathetic and friendly - just not gender specific. I could tell some folks weren’t sure to address me as sir or ma’am.

I can’t tell you how many times someone would call and say they spoke to “Miss Vince” or I would ask a customer to mail me something and it would come in addressed to me but the letter would say “I spoke to a woman in your office today who said to mail this information to you”.

We’d also have customers call back asking for Phyllis (If you hold your nose and say, “This is Vince” you can see how that might happen).

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Postby JW » Thu Feb 23, 2006 5:05 pm

As regards my English "phone-voice" : it's rumoured to be deep, vibrating, véry distinctive, and véry sexy..... Ugh!
I was on a live German radio-show in Berlin once, where they interviewed me about Mensa-membership an' stuff. And they gave me a tape of the whole thing afterwards. I can tell you now that I sound véry gay in German. The Germans all just lóved my accent though.
In French I wouldn't have a clue what I sound like.
And in Dutch, again the "deep, vibrating, véry distinctive, and very sexy" stuff on the phone.
In real life: people keep asking me whether I'm married or have a girlfriend etc so guess it's not too "obvious".
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Postby Hybridacting » Thu Feb 23, 2006 5:15 pm

JW ,tu parles francais?
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Postby batty » Thu Feb 23, 2006 6:15 pm

JW wrote:As regards my English "phone-voice" : it's rumoured to be deep, vibrating, véry distinctive, and véry sexy..... Ugh!
I was on a live German radio-show in Berlin once, where they interviewed me about Mensa-membership an' stuff. And they gave me a tape of the whole thing afterwards. I can tell you now that I sound véry gay in German. The Germans all just lóved my accent though.
In French I wouldn't have a clue what I sound like.
And in Dutch, again the " deep, vibrating, distinctive and very sexy" stuff on the phone.
In real life: people keep asking me whether I'm married or have a girlfriend etc so guess it's not too "obvious".


Well JW, you might have heard this beofre, I thought your French voice was quite deep, vibrating, distinctive and very sexy oh and can i add cheerful too, it's like we can "hear" you smile :) . Couldn't say anything about your Japanese ("chin-chin" :wink: ). And as for your Dutch... well it's um very faast :P
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Postby Texas_Thang » Thu Feb 23, 2006 11:16 pm

Seb - having talked to you on the phone and on Skype... I can't hear anything gay in your voice. You can, however, tell that English is not your native tongue. Not that your English isn't very very good..it's an intonation thing.
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