Why str8 acting gay men are attracted to gay Effeminate men

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Why str8 acting gay men are attracted to gay Effeminate men

Postby heartandsoul80 » Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:49 am

Because opposites attract! Masculine str8 acting gay guys are attracted to the feminine effeminate gay guy's femininity. likewise. the feminine gay guy is attracted to Masculinity in the same way women are attracted to men and vise versa!

I feel comfortable in my skin and I am in touch with my feelings!

I'm one of those masculine gay men that is attracted to feminine gay men. For those that don't understand....There is a big difference between gay feminine men and women, and that is (drum role please)........feminine men are men and women are women! That also means that there is a big difference between a sweet petite fragile effeminate gay guy and a sweet petite fragile women! Maybe a feminine gay guys femininity is not the same or as a real womens femininity. Maybe there are two types of femininity and science didn't discover this other type of femininity yet.

I'm attracted only to a feminine gay guys femininity but not to a real women's femininity

I personally, am attracted to the sweet petite fragile feminine gay guy, yet i am not attracted to women. I do think that some women are Beautiful though and I do check them out. I'm just not sexually and physically attracted to them. I think feminine gay guys are just way more beautiful, and have more sex appeal.


Sure us masculine guys that are attracted to feminine men may like our feminine counterparts to shave their bodies, paint their toes, maybe wear a little make up. dress in womens clothes (eg wear panties), that is just sexual preference, which everyone has no matter if they are a man or a women gay, strt8 or bi. One man's taboo is normal for another man!

I don't have a problem (I'm not speaking for other str8 acting gay guys that are attractive fem guys) to call my partner a girl if he wants me to call him a girl or something else that is feminine. A feminine guy wanting to be called a girl (or what have you) is not the same thing as a slut wanting to be called a slut and a feminine guy wanting to be called a woman. From my own experience, them wanting to be called a girl, sissy is more emotional to them.


For an example the feminine guy that i am seeing likes me and I like to call him my little delicate sissy pussy "jimmy".
I do not call him that to belittle him, humiliate him, and etc, I call him that because it makes the both of us horny as hell.


Not all gay feminine guys dress fully like a woman. Take my BF for an example, he only likes to wear pretty lacy and/or satin panties 24/7/365 and womens night gowns at night! I am the one that has him wear other womens lingerie for me.
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Postby BigIzzy » Tue Apr 15, 2008 8:01 pm

That is an interesting point you make.

I think pictures are in order to help me with this concept...
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Postby RedKen99 » Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:40 pm

This is a good subject. I'm butch and my hubby is fem. But's he's not a queen- know what I mean. He's not into faggotry!

I never realized that he saw me as butch?! :shock:
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Postby anatole noziere » Thu May 08, 2008 2:26 am

Some, very few, straight-acting men are attracted to effeminate men. According to a survey that I have read recently, fewer than five per cent of all gay men, butch and nelly alike, are attracted to effeminate men. Whence all the "no fats or fems" in the personal ads. Which must make it tough for all those nelly queens--and lonely. But pretending that that's not how it is won't change things. In fact the statistics on self-identified "straight men" who have sex only with other "straight men" indicates that there are several times as many of them as there are of men who think of themselves as gay. Good on you if you're butch, and like 'em nelly--but you're a tiny fraction of a minority.
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Postby notforfree » Mon Aug 18, 2008 6:18 am

oh anatole-
have you read the 'str8 men seeking str8 men' ads on craigslist? omg. they're so sad.
it's one thing to be a butch gay man attracted to butch gay men. s'cool.
but to cling so desperately to a hetero label when you're obviously not?
just. sad.
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Postby notforfree » Mon Aug 18, 2008 6:19 am

also,
heartandsoul80:

we need more men like you! there are NOT enough butch boys to go around! :x
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Postby douglassnow » Sat Sep 13, 2008 4:08 pm

notforfree wrote:oh anatole-
have you read the 'str8 men seeking str8 men' ads on craigslist? omg. they're so sad.
it's one thing to be a butch gay man attracted to butch gay men. s'cool.
but to cling so desperately to a hetero label when you're obviously not?
just. sad.



Hey, where do you see "clinging"? Sad for you maybe, but the "str8 men seeking str8 men" ads mean just that: "no fems." I don't see any evidence that they're "obviously not str8." You wish. "Str8" means "(totally) masculine" in this context, not "heterosexual," and not, for god's sakes, "butch." But take what comfort you can from the irrelevant ambiguity.
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Postby notforfree » Sun Sep 14, 2008 4:34 am

disagree. disagree. disagree.
straight means heterosexual.
straight-acting is something different, of course.
if straight didn't mean heterosexual, then straight-acting wouldn't mean what it does and this site would not exist.

you can't just totally change the meaning of a word and then plead 'context'.
that's bullshit and i'm gonna call it.

also, if you can so aggressively call me fem. all over this site, then i reserve the right to call you butch.

AND: it's not irrelevant. people are still afraid to label themselves as gay. straight is by far the easier lifestyle, the accepted lifestyle. so even gay men call themselves straight, as long as they can pass.
it's like light-skinned African Americans in the 1800s claiming they were white or european so American society would accept them
*$#*@# claim what you are already!

you're a faggot.
you suck dick and get hard when you see naked men.
get over it.
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Postby notforfree » Sun Sep 14, 2008 4:39 am

also (i could have included this in the other post but you piss me off so much that i forgot):

what the hell do you mean you "don't see any evidence that they're 'obviously not str8'"?

THEY'RE ADVERTISING THEMSELVES ONLINE IN A FORUM FOR GAY SEX.
THEY WANT TO fu** OTHER MEN.
Therefore, they're obviously not straight.

jesus.
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Postby Pazuzu P. Sasquatch » Sun Sep 14, 2008 5:17 am

You've got the makings of a point there, friend.

It's kinda like someone signing an affidavit swearing he's right-handed, and using his left hand to do the signing.

I think a lot of guys who like dick are repelled by a lot of the baggage our society equates with "gay," and haven't learned to distinguish a social scene from a fact of their own personalities. They'd rather call themselves "straight" than think of themselves as what they're told is "gay." It's the result of a homophobic culture on the one hand, and the freak-show caricature of homosexuality (embraced, let's face it, by many "gays") on the other.
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Postby douglassnow » Sun Sep 21, 2008 6:20 pm

notforfree wrote:disagree. disagree. disagree.
straight means heterosexual.
straight-acting is something different, of course.
if straight didn't mean heterosexual, then straight-acting wouldn't mean what it does and this site would not exist.

you can't just totally change the meaning of a word and then plead 'context'.
that's bullshit and i'm gonna call it.

also, if you can so aggressively call me fem. all over this site, then i reserve the right to call you butch.

AND: it's not irrelevant. people are still afraid to label themselves as gay. straight is by far the easier lifestyle, the accepted lifestyle. so even gay men call themselves straight, as long as they can pass.
it's like light-skinned African Americans in the 1800s claiming they were white or european so American society would accept them
*$#*@# claim what you are already!

you're a faggot.
you suck dick and get hard when you see naked men.
get over it.


You're missing the point, my dear. Of course, if you call me "butch" it means you're gay, and that's the only word you have for "masculine" (or, as I might like to call it, "straight"). If I decline to call myself "gay," it doesn't mean I don't suck dick or not get hard when I see naked, masculine men, it just means that, apart from sucking dick and getting hard when I see naked, masculine men, I don't have much else in common with you; certainly not enough to call, or think of myself, as "butch." For sure, ordinarily I use the word "straight" just like you do to mean "heterosexual," but when I use it describe myself, or to specify what kind of sex partner I prefer, I mean "totally masculine, especially when sucking masculine or straight men's dicks." Then again, it really is contextual. In a recent, now locked, thread when I was waylaid by "Masculinity" into a heated defence of butchness in bottoming, I threw the words "butch" and "gay" even "butch gay" around with abandon. But with you, and in seeking sex partners in Craigslist, the word is "str8." You can call me "butch" if you want, but forget about hooking up.
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Power of Words

Postby dracuscalico » Sun Sep 21, 2008 6:41 pm

Interesting thing happenned to me, I am friends with a gay couple that is trying to play yenta and hook me up with the right guy because I want someone who doesn't fit the stereotype. One of them referred to me as "butch" and for some reason I was appalled. If they'd just said masculine I would have felt better. But the word butch implied that I fit into a neat slot within the gay community, when I don't even feel like part of it in the first place. It kinda felt like a backhanded compliment and insult at the same time.

But back to the real topic. I have been attracted at times to guys who are feminine, but the litmus test for me was.

Can I be seen in public with this person and not feel embarassed by their behavior?
If was just for sex, without being seen in public, would I be able to live it down if word got out about it?
How likely is this person to compromise me out of spite, knowing my concerns about keeping a lower profile?

I would rather avoid the stress of worrying about repercussions of dating a feminine guy, because I tried before and it was too hard. One guy I dated a few times, (I wanted to try to look past his femininity, because I genuinely liked him), embarassed me so much I couldn't wait for our final date to be over with.

He was slender with long hair to his waist, had beard and mustache, looked like he was in a band. But on our date he walked down the street with his arms crossed for over a block. Children quit playing and turned to stare at him. I asked him if he was cold, to drop a subtle hint, and he said no and kept on walking with his arms crossed. We were in a tougher neighborhood and had to park a ways away from the restaurant. I felt like I had to keep watch so no one attacked him (us). At the restaurant, while we were waiting to be seated, he stood there playing with his hair like CHER and kept flipping it around and fiddling with it. Everyone in the restaurant stared at him. When we were dining, he spoke aloud about his former boyfriends to the point where the straight couples at adjacent tables quit talking to each other and just sat there watching and eavesdropping. I tried to behave as though nothing was abnormal but was sweating bullets the whole time. I could not wait to get out of there...

For me, getting involved with a feminine guy just doesn't work. The whole idea of being into guys is their masculine aspects and hoping to bond on that level.
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Postby Frizzurd » Wed Oct 01, 2008 2:16 am

Well, Heartandsoul if you have read any of my old posts you would know i am into the same type of guys and consider myself masculine. Not masculine as being a bad-ass that can wrestle grizzly bears and sh*t but masculine as in people don't know im gay unless i tell them. Hell, my mom still thinks im just sexually confused.

You did a better job of explaining this than i ever did. Can't tell you how many times people ask why i don't just get a woman since i like faggy guys.
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Postby DeckApe » Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:34 am

...Frizz! Welcome back!

Well, I have to admit I've wondered a similar thought about effeminate men while contemplating what it is that other find attractive about it; the older I get, the more I realize I might as well ask why people like the color green. Different strokes for different folks.

Effeminate men don't do a thing for me, though. (But I like many different shades of green. :lol: )
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Re: Why str8 acting gay men are attracted to gay Effeminate

Postby Ben » Mon Nov 10, 2008 7:41 pm

heartandsoul80 wrote:Because opposites attract! Masculine str8 acting gay guys are attracted to the feminine effeminate gay guy's femininity. likewise. the feminine gay guy is attracted to Masculinity in the same way women are attracted to men and vise versa!


I'm masculine, and I do not approve this message.

For me it's the traditional masculinity in a man that fascinates me, and attracts me. It's not just the physical masculine attributes, but also a manly mentality that catches my interest. Lack these and we're not a match.
Don't try to be a great man, just be a man...
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Re: Why str8 acting gay men are attracted to gay Effeminate

Postby Cajun » Mon Nov 10, 2008 7:48 pm

Ben wrote:.....For me it's the traditional masculinity in a man that fascinates me, and attracts me. It's not just the physical masculine attributes, but also a manly mentality that catches my interest......


Bingo! It's not just how a guy LOOKS (although that's important too), but how a guy CARRIES himself, both in words and deeds, that makes me attracted to him - and yes, we're talking MASCULINE here girls :wink:

Oh yeah, I've also finally figured out that wide shoulders makes a guy automatically more attractive to me - swoon........ :P
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Postby dracuscalico » Mon Nov 10, 2008 10:44 pm

The whole purpose of being attracted to guys is their masculine elements, and so it is self defeating for gays to play up their feminine side, when it is masculinity that is revered and sought after in a mate. They might get lucky and find a guy who likes the opposite, but you don't see a lot of those kind of couples around, like in The Birdcage movie.

There aren't a lot of feminine photos being posted on the HUNKS forum either. Even the boyish ones are "pretty" but masculine. I am just not aware of a bunch of gay guys going gaga and snapping their necks to ogle and undress a sissy,(they might diss his hair or outfit but that's it), meanwhile they are fawning all over a masculine guy who is far less attractive than the sissy because of his MALENESS.

Someone could make a lot of money "straightening" gays out and helping them develop the male socialization that they missed out on. A lot of guys are sissies by default because there is more reinforcement for getting in touch with your feminine side in the gay world. It is less threatening to the gays who failed to meet the MALE STANDARD that society expects of men, if gay guys downplay their masculinity to make the less masculine ones feel comfortable.
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Postby edu999 » Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:26 pm

I am attracted to masculine guys as well..

But if I may... photos are NOT a good indicator of a guy's masculinity.

Someone in a photo could look like the most rugged, masculine bruiser you could possibly imagine, but in real life could sound like Nathan Lane in The Birdcage.
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Postby dracuscalico » Tue Nov 11, 2008 12:14 am

That's true. I have heard about that with the New York models. A lot of them photograph the opposite of how they LOOK in real life as well. Despite of how the reality shows are cast, there are a TON of gay guys who become models or at least try.
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Re: Why str8 acting gay men are attracted to gay Effeminate

Postby Pazuzu P. Sasquatch » Tue Nov 11, 2008 5:43 am

heartandsoul80 wrote:Because opposites attract! Masculine str8 acting gay guys are attracted to the feminine effeminate gay guy's femininity. likewise. the feminine gay guy is attracted to Masculinity in the same way women are attracted to men and vise versa.


That's just silly. :roll:
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Re: Why str8 acting gay men are attracted to gay Effeminate

Postby dracuscalico » Tue Nov 11, 2008 10:32 pm

Pazuzu P. Sasquatch wrote:
heartandsoul80 wrote:Because opposites attract! Masculine str8 acting gay guys are attracted to the feminine effeminate gay guy's femininity. likewise. the feminine gay guy is attracted to Masculinity in the same way women are attracted to men and vise versa.


That's just silly. :roll:




If you're attracted to masculinity, a REAL MAN, has the most of it and seems to be what gay guys are after. Similarly, a guy attracted to femininity would get more of it in a REAL WOMAN.

How often have you heard complaints about a guy being too masculine?
How often have you heard complaints about a woman being too feminine?

That would be like complaining that your Sugar Daddy is too generous !
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Postby Frizzurd » Wed Nov 12, 2008 3:54 pm

fu** you dracuscalico Not everything is so black and white.
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Postby nimby » Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:52 pm

I think guys seek out different characteristics at different times, depending what is abundant/lacking in their lives. A lack of masculinity (or an abundance of feminity) may lead them to seek out what will add balance in their lives. I've noticed for most women, it is the reverse. Feminine seek feminine and masculine seek masculine.

Opposites attract vs. like attracts like. Kinda like the nature vs. nurture debate.
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Postby Phoenix6570 » Wed Nov 12, 2008 11:36 pm

Yeah I don't think it's so simple as opposites attract. I'm a masculine male who is interested in other masculine males. Everyone just has their own things that they desire. You can't just narrow it down into various category's.
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Postby dracuscalico » Thu Nov 13, 2008 12:36 am

Frizzurd wrote:fu** you dracuscalico Not everything is so black and white.


My...how bitter..... :roll:
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