29 Lakewood (Denver), CO

A place for newbies to introduce themselves. A place to talk nicely about other board members and share ideas.

Moderators: selective_soldier, Sconesss, Schlodesss

29 Lakewood (Denver), CO

Postby CO_RedRocker » Fri Nov 12, 2010 12:47 pm

DELETE
Last edited by CO_RedRocker on Wed Nov 17, 2010 11:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
CO_RedRocker
Newbie
 
Posts: 28
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 12:17 pm

Re: 29 Lakewood (Denver), CO

Postby nimby » Fri Nov 12, 2010 7:38 pm

Yeah, bi dude here. And yeah, women do like to cuddle and kiss more. Try switching sides and see if you miss dudes.
"Why do we have asteroids in the hemisphere and hemmorroids in the a$$ ? "
User avatar
nimby
Veteran Member
 
Posts: 2906
Joined: Thu May 08, 2008 3:35 pm
Location: Toronto, ON

Re: 29 Lakewood (Denver), CO

Postby Earl Butz » Sat Nov 13, 2010 7:52 pm

Aw that sucks. I used to live in Lakewood. Maybe if you had been born thirty years earlier, we could have had coffee. :P

I'm 45 and still alone. Actually I'll be 46 on Monday. 4 more years and I'll be that pathetic person you mentioned. :?

But I'm not lonely most of the time. Saturday nights are the worst. But the rest of the week I wonder what I would do with another person. I'm either asleep, busy, or would rather be alone anyway.

At least that's how I've rationalized my pathetic life. :mrgreen:
A hard man is good to find!
User avatar
Earl Butz
Veteran Member
 
Posts: 1370
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:51 am
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Re: 29 Lakewood (Denver), CO

Postby nimby » Sat Nov 13, 2010 10:20 pm

Dude, honestly, you found a good place here. There are many, many guys here who are straight acting and looking for more than just a hook up. Quite a few partners have found eachother on here. So say hello, give us some idea of what you like and I'm sure one will turn up.
"Why do we have asteroids in the hemisphere and hemmorroids in the a$$ ? "
User avatar
nimby
Veteran Member
 
Posts: 2906
Joined: Thu May 08, 2008 3:35 pm
Location: Toronto, ON

Re: 29 Lakewood (Denver), CO

Postby CO_RedRocker » Sun Nov 14, 2010 10:47 am

DELETE
Last edited by CO_RedRocker on Wed Nov 17, 2010 11:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
CO_RedRocker
Newbie
 
Posts: 28
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 12:17 pm

Re: 29 Lakewood (Denver), CO

Postby Earl Butz » Mon Nov 15, 2010 1:02 am

It's snot easy being gay. Your worries about the future are completely normal. A wife, 1.8 children, a house with a picket fence? Probably not gonna happen.

You might have better luck with bi dudes. I know one guy from YouTube who describes himself as bi, although he prefers women. He's very masculine....has a very gentle voice, but otherwise not feminine at all. I would marry him in a heartbeat!

I can see why bisexuals would prefer the straight route....much easier. But they do tend to be more masculine.
A hard man is good to find!
User avatar
Earl Butz
Veteran Member
 
Posts: 1370
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:51 am
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Re: 29 Lakewood (Denver), CO

Postby nimby » Mon Nov 15, 2010 1:32 pm

Earl Butz wrote:It's snot easy being gay. Your worries about the future are completely normal. A wife, 1.8 children, a house with a picket fence? Probably not gonna happen.

You might have better luck with bi dudes. I know one guy from YouTube who describes himself as bi, although he prefers women. He's very masculine....has a very gentle voice, but otherwise not feminine at all. I would marry him in a heartbeat!

I can see why bisexuals would prefer the straight route....much easier. But they do tend to be more masculine.


But it can happen and does happen every day. I'm the guy you just described. And there are lots like me, as I'm learning.

OP, First thing you gotta get over your self admitted sissyphobia. Learn that all guys have feminine traits, gay or straight. Same thing with women and masculine traits. Once you are able to accept you for you, feminine traits and all, it'll be easier to accept another person for their traits. No one is perfect, even you. Maybe that's why the guys you crave don't stick around, a trait that you have that they don't like?

And secondly, if you think going for a woman as a consolation prize, maybe you aren't gay at all and maybe bi. But believe me, if you think women are easier, you got another thing comming!!!! LOL!! I have been with my wife for 23 years now and let me tell you, it is not as easy as you think. Men and women are completely differemt animals. If they even sense that you are settling for a woman instead of your mr right, you are toast. Luckily mine enjoys man on man affection and she lets me have my guy. Actually she adores him as much as I do and we are all great friends.

Maybe think a little more on what you really want before you go searching. When you know what you can/can't handle in a partner, male or female, the search will be easier. Get involved in gay social groups and just get out there. If you stick to sites for quick hook ups, that's what you're going to get.

Good luck.
"Why do we have asteroids in the hemisphere and hemmorroids in the a$$ ? "
User avatar
nimby
Veteran Member
 
Posts: 2906
Joined: Thu May 08, 2008 3:35 pm
Location: Toronto, ON

Re: 29 Lakewood (Denver), CO

Postby Rico » Mon Nov 15, 2010 7:39 pm

From one INTJ to another let me say your posts are brilliant, but you already know that! :D

Since most of us INTJ's like to keep things short, let me just say this for now, but there will be more to follow because I like you: The key to developing a successful relationship is realizing that it's not about you. It took me a long time to learn that, and trust me, it's still a struggle, even today.

Some non-INTJ folks wonder why INTJ's aren't sensitive to their feelings. The answer is simple: We're not even sensitive to our own feelings, so why should we be expected to be sensitive to theirs? I see in your post an attempt to deal with your feelings, and that's a huge start. You might not even realize it yet, but you should congratulate yourself nonetheless.

Welcome to the Boards!
In the Beginning there was nothing, and God said: 'Let there be Light." There was still nothing, but you could see it.
User avatar
Rico
Veteran Member
 
Posts: 1040
Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2004 8:20 pm
Location: Baltimore-Washington

Re: 29 Lakewood (Denver), CO

Postby nimby » Mon Nov 15, 2010 7:57 pm

Rico wrote:Some non-INTJ folks wonder why INTJ's aren't sensitive to their feelings. The answer is simple: We're not even sensitive to our own feelings, so why should we be expected to be sensitive to theirs? I see in your post an attempt to deal with your feelings, and that's a huge start. You might not even realize it yet, but you should congratulate yourself nonetheless.

So if you so called INTJ folks don't consider the feelings of either you or others close to you, then how can you think you deserve to be in a meaningful relationship? That statement contradicts the, "it's not about you" statement you just made. Can this trait be corrected? Should it be corrected if it's a true personality trait? Just asking so I get a clear picture here.
"Why do we have asteroids in the hemisphere and hemmorroids in the a$$ ? "
User avatar
nimby
Veteran Member
 
Posts: 2906
Joined: Thu May 08, 2008 3:35 pm
Location: Toronto, ON

Re: 29 Lakewood (Denver), CO

Postby Rico » Mon Nov 15, 2010 8:05 pm

nimby wrote:So if you so called INTJ folks don't consider the feelings of either you or others close to you, then how can you think you deserve to be in a meaningful relationship? That statement contradicts the, "it's not about you" statement you just made. Can this trait be corrected? Should it be corrected if it's a true personality trait? Just asking so I get a clear picture here.

Good and fair questions, and relatively easy to answer. We're talking about personality traits or tendencies, not some kind of disorder that needs to be corrected. Although they can't normally be changed, our awareness of them helps us to moderate them, to correct for them, or at least keep them in check. That's what's so miraculous about the human mind. We can do things like that if there is a will to do so.
In the Beginning there was nothing, and God said: 'Let there be Light." There was still nothing, but you could see it.
User avatar
Rico
Veteran Member
 
Posts: 1040
Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2004 8:20 pm
Location: Baltimore-Washington

Re: 29 Lakewood (Denver), CO

Postby CO_RedRocker » Mon Nov 15, 2010 11:02 pm

DELETE
Last edited by CO_RedRocker on Wed Nov 17, 2010 11:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
CO_RedRocker
Newbie
 
Posts: 28
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 12:17 pm

Re: 29 Lakewood (Denver), CO

Postby Schlodesss » Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:59 am

Hi, first off welcome. I know what you are looking for... a guy who is into guys... but is otherwise no different than the straight guys you hang out with or work with or whatever... I read through your posts and it reminds me of me about 10 years ago when I joined here. I hate to break it to you, but there simply are very very very few masculin Gay men. I think I have found one or two over the years that were into drag racing [CARS not dressing up as women] or that even liked building up and working on cars.

It confuses me, because we are all men here, "straight" or "gay" and you'll find straight men who enjoy, cars, drag racing cars, bikes [both on / off road - and for the actual joy of riding not for eye candy or because they can wear leather to fullfill a fetish :roll: ] to you name it... even the musical tastes seem to be different overall from straight to gay.

Flip that over to "gay" and the men are rarely interested in same stuff straight guys are.... I can't for the life of me understand why that suddenly changes.. I tried joining a few gay car clubs to see... and for one, they are mostly big city USA based and so I asked if they ever had any drag race events,and if they had ever thought of renting a 1/4 facility fora few days, having a camping/show n shine event for cars and bikes, trikes, etc and as well where owners could make fun runs down a 1/4 mile facility... I thought it was a great idea and woudl draw a lot of people out of the woodwork perhaps?? ...and the reply I got back was "Hi Steve over all the years that we've been doing this [the "Lambda president"] I can't recall one guy that is into drag racing his car, and that as Gay men we tend appreciate the artistic side of the automobiles not the racing. Maybe you should try starting your own club or something". Needless to say I didn't because he pretty much answered my question.... Start a group??

All I have to say is: Good Luck! :( Non existent to few and far between... and this whole "well you have to move to a big city...." people tell me.. irks me too.. I hate ghettos be they gay ghettos or anything else. Everyone goes on about diversity, but runs off to a huge city first chance they get, and segregates themselves.. and that's why things will never change or will take forever... Most people have no clue what a average gay person is like because a lot of them live in some huge city with all the other ones... I'm a country boy at heart and will never live in a large city, and if that means being alone so be it... While I still have hope i've pretty much resigned to the fact I will be alone till I die [however long that is]. I also believe that if you meet the right one it just happens because it was meant to...

I get told a lot still.. well how are you going to meet anyone you barely go out anywhere...

When first came out in 1998, from then till about 2004 I overexposed myself to gay community, purposely had tons of profiles up on dating sites, went to the local [Windsor, ON] gay bars,good friend dragged me out for "breakfast with the bears"....... 8 of them, which didn't accept me one bit - got asked by one are you sure this guy is gay, he sure doesn't seem like it?? <-- I was just being myself.. you could TELL all them of them were and I wasn't rude to them b/c they were flamers w/ beards.. I tried to be part of the conversation all morning and got cut off.. talked over.. etc, so I left early... got in my 89 Mustang LX notchback and let the 2 chamber flowmasters wail, dropped the FRPP clutch, and 3.73s lay down 100+ feet of rubber in front of the restaurant... and I was so offended I wont lie, in my mind I was thinking "you wanted me gone??? There i'm gone, enjoy the smell, FAGS". My buddy was SO offended by the "bears behaviour he apologized later.. but.. even this whole bear thing, I liked it at first but it's just more [not all of them] femmy guys, but they have body and facial hair. I met A LOT of them types at the bar, some really nice guys!, but sexually, sorry, that just doesn't work for me when they start lisping and what not...

NO, I am not a fem hater..I had friends who were just buds and I would hold my head high in public with them and if anyone started trouble with them I would have had their backs.. It's not a hate for femmy guys... BUT... where the F are masc guys??? A: after all the years I have looked... few and far between is where they are. And that the stereotypes are true, most gay men are fem, most lesbians are butch [yah I have LOTS of experience with that too]. I had a friend who was on the femmy side who had a 1987 Buick Grand National and he used always meet us at the track and would race the whole deal... then he got sucked into the "gotta move to the gay village its like OMG so awesome there.." and he sold all his cars and disappeared into the village in Toronto. I miss Kevin alot! So for my friends I dont car if you cross dress or... if we got something in common.... I'm cool w/ hanging out!!

Back to bars.. The bars just weren't my cup of tea. I tried a lot of different way to meet people back then as everyone says ya gotta put yourself out there or you won't meet people. Well, I did, and all I did was meet the wrong ones... once in a while I would meet a really masc guy, who was already partnered, or there was this one [I liked him a LOT] that i started seeing and messing around with, then he vanished. I found out later he was also partnered and living with another man.

At that point [June of 2005] I totally gave up and can't be bothered. The only things that make me happy I am gay are that I don't have a nagging wife, and I never wanted kids... to my time is mine... otherwise... I hate it. I would embrace it with open arms if society wouldget over themselves, and for the most part accept it, and also, if, say 40% of the population were same sex attracted, because then meeting a mate you jive with would be like looking for a needle in a haystack...

Till then.. I still swear the loneliness will be the death of me.
--------------
Schlodesss
Moderator
 
Posts: 611
Joined: Sat Oct 09, 2004 8:38 am
Location: Lidsville, ON, Canada

Re: 29 Lakewood (Denver), CO

Postby CO_RedRocker » Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:39 am

DELETE
Last edited by CO_RedRocker on Wed Nov 17, 2010 11:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
CO_RedRocker
Newbie
 
Posts: 28
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 12:17 pm

Re: 29 Lakewood (Denver), CO

Postby Schlodesss » Wed Nov 17, 2010 9:32 am

I never got to totally finish my reply because I had to pick up my buddy and drop him off for his custody thing. [Kids mother hasn't shown up for any of them so he gets full custody today]

I don't think that good quality masculine gay guys are a lost cause. It's just finding them that's the lost cause,because well, thre may as well not be any.. [there are but in the grand scheme it's a tiny number].

It's up to you on the chick thing... try it.. it may work, I doubt it. It wouldn't work sexually for me, but I get along with girls really well... But I get a long with guys really well too.. 98% of them are straight, not because I pick it that way, it's just the types of people that have things in common with me most the time. Being gay or being straight by themselves are not basis for a friendship and for some reason a lot of people like to think that that is how it works.. [another reason I don't like the idea of moving to a big "gay village or ghetto".]

What I have done in the mean time is find things I enjoy doing like building cars, drag racing, dirt biking, etc.. and I dive into that stuff. Don't get me wrong it doesn't 100% take things off my mind but helps. I dunno any more I am not sure I consider myself gay b/c I think that the more I look at it, it is a lifestyle... I am however attracted to the same sex, suck cock, etc etc.. which I am not ashamed of. Anyways all these labels aside all I wish I could do is find a guy I click with and think is just the coolest dude, and him -> me and have a nice quiet life together.

Alot of people make gay their whole life it becomes who they are... it's a part of who I am along with all the other parts of me.. that make up the whole me lol..
--------------
Schlodesss
Moderator
 
Posts: 611
Joined: Sat Oct 09, 2004 8:38 am
Location: Lidsville, ON, Canada

Re: 29 Lakewood (Denver), CO

Postby Ashpenaz » Wed Nov 17, 2010 2:30 pm

I'm 50, single, miserable, and alone--so I'm starring in the movie you don't want to see! :?

One of the reasons I like this blog is because it seems that it's about guys who like guys. I have nothing against femme gays, per se, it's just that I don't find them attractive and we don't have a lot in common. I'm also living in a small town because, well, I like small towns. I don't want to live in the gay ghetto. My perfect life would be to have several friends, one of which is the gay guy I have sex with. I currently have several straight friends and those are the guys I relate to.

It would be nice to have non-sexual gay friends, and that's another reason I'm on this blog. I don't meet gays I relate to in the "real world," but it seems from the posts that this is a place I can be my gay self, which is pretty much like every other guy. Plus I have a lot of questions about gay sex, which straight guys can't answer, and should the need come up, I'd like to know I have guys with answers!
:wink:
Ashpenaz
Newbie
 
Posts: 43
Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2010 10:10 pm


Return to Users Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest