Introduction

[lohinuegala]

Hey,
Just wanted to say hi to everyone here. I found this site through a class I was taking but I think it's a great concept. I've run into the problem of liking other straight-acting guys but having no idea how to proceed. So I'm hoping that I can benefit from the years of experience that many of you have on me. If nothing else, reading your success stories makes me feel a little more confident.
A little about me:
I'm in my undergrad as a music/linguistics major, am 22, and gay. I have zero involvement with the gay community on my campus or in my city as I've always just preferred hanging out with friends. I've known I was gay since before puberty but have never really done anything about it. I've finally reached a place where I'm feeling enough self-confidence to consider dating another guy. I'm out to my close friends but that's about it. Most people think I'm gay when they first meet me, then reconsider and think I'm just refined. Joke's on them. I like most standard guy pursuits but I'm also pretty intellectual.
I think that's probably enough for now. Looking forward to getting to know you guys.

[olywaguy]

Welcome to the board, lohinuegala.

Well, I hope you get to post frequently and make some new friends here. I have been on the board for about nine years now and the guys here really helped me out with my coming out to myself. I am sure you will find the guys here quite helpful.

You mentioned you heard about this site through a class. I'd really like to hear the context and what did they say about the website.

[Daknee]

Welcome, Glad you found this place. It is a wonderful place to feel fully whole and normal (whatever normal is). This is a great group of guys.
I do have to say; you mentioned us having more experience. To this I must tell you even though you may be fairly "new". I'm sure I can learn alot from you too. So please feel free to post and contribute.

[nimby]

Howdyho!!! And welcome. Hope to see ya around.

[madsglen]

From one (former) Illinois boy to another, welcome, 'Lo'. Thanks for introducing yourself. Hope you'll find new friends and enjoyment on this board.

Interesting that you found this board through a class. And that people have somehow determined that you're not gay, just refined (is that what they're calling 'metrosexual' these days?)!! How very Midwestern (maybe only a Midwestern farmboy who grew up in the days when gay men were only whispered about or beaten up can find that amusing...)

Glad you're finding your way and getting comfortable about the idea of dating. No hurry. Take your time. I'm sure you'll find most of the guys here will be sincere in their responses to your questions or issues or thoughts. And that they'll not be shy about sharing their experience(s) and will be genuine and thoughtful in their responses.

Again, welcome. Go Bears! and Go Illini!!!

[lohinuegala]

Thanks for the welcome guys. I hope to find time to contribute to the boards. Though I will admit that it is a little daunting due to the sheer number of threads.
Here's the context for how I found the site: I mentioned that I was a linguistics major. The class was (well still is really, I haven't finished it yet) on the way that people communicate (either to enhance or conceal) sexual interest, gender, and sexuality in general.
As part of that, we've looked at multiple different groups including many sexual minority groups. This website was brought up via a clip from The Gender Show which referenced the straight-acting quiz. We discussed the quiz and the implication that the lower you scored, the more appealing you were in a conventional masculine sense. This expanded into a discussion of masculine speech traits and what about them made them appealing to both women and other men.
My professor also pointed out that he found the term "straight-acting" fascinating as it was a positive way of saying not effeminate and then brought up the controversy over whether straight-acting men were truly "acting" or not. To try to answer that question, I logged back onto the site and began reading some of the discussion regarding the term, the degree to which the group thinks of itself as a distinct sexual identity, and the group's views on the remainder of the gay community.
My ulterior motive was one of genuine interest. I know that there are plenty of guys with homoerotic interest that can pass for straight (some of whom are closeted and some of whom are not) but I've had no real luck finding them. Which is annoying as that's where my sexual interest lies. I didn't really expect to find a website of like-minded individuals as I assumed that most of those guys were inactive in much of the gay community and more isolationist in practice. Of course, in hindsight, it makes sense that there would be an online community as it is very difficult to find other guys in daily life who are masculine but aren't heterosexual.
So yeah. That's how I found the site. I'm actually using it as a base to write a paper on the reaction of the remainder of the gay community to the term and some of the responses you have made to those reactions.

In regards to my being perceived as refined, you need only look at what I wrote above. I tend to talk like that most of the time. I know the big words so why not use them? It doesn't mean I act different, but it distances some people. And they assume that anyone who speaks properly must care overly much about words and therefore be gay. I don't really make that connection but maybe that's just me. So it's not until they get to know me that they realize I'm just like that but that I otherwise act pretty straight. It did lead to one fun conversation with a close straight friend when I asked him what orientation he thought I was and he said, "You're about like me right? You can tell an attractive guy when you see one but you aren't really interested." And I got to laugh and tell him that if he subbed the word "girl" for "guy" he'd have my sexuality.

And definitely go bears!

[Earl Butz]

Well finally....some recognition of my years of experience. And I am indeed a success story.

Just kidding. The older you get, the less you feel like you know. Even Einstein said we never get to understand it all. Yikes.

[Bramasole_iowa]

From a former Midwesterner (Iowa), welcome to the site!

[DeckApe]

Welcome aboard!

[butch]

Hi from Butch. 22 is the time of life when one really enters so-called adulthood. Try to remember "there are no rules" and whenever there are, they change rapidly. Don't expect too much from others, in life, and you won't be disappointed. Find out what co-dependence and enabling mean and be neither... and you won't be disappointed with humans... most of the time.

I like the age 22. When I was younger and out and about, 22 years olds seemed to gravitate to me. I have no idea why.

So... I've met a lot of 22 year olds. Seems to be the year of adventure and exploration of all things romantic. One thinks one knows everything. You will find, by age 30, you had a lot to learn. So have fun adventuring. Play safe, sexually, and take your vitamin D. Learn the difference between "falling in lust" and "falling in love". The latter is hard to come by, the first is as easy as opening a door.

I post off and on, and I can be relied upon to be controversial. The very last thing I'd want to be is "normal", whatever that is. Take care.