I want to......

Was it tough or was it easy, or are you still locked in? Tell the world anonymously about your gayness should you choose.

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I want to......

Postby Glas-Dude » Wed Dec 22, 2010 3:46 pm

.....but i find myself hiding everyday from who i want to be. sorry no, i am who i want to be, i won't change but it's this tiny detail i want to get out there. Its pathetic that this tiny detail (which will in no way change how i act or feel) can change peoples views on you as a person.

Ok I've just joined this website, which in itself is a big step for me. im in my late twenties and live in a town just outside glasgow, scotland (which at the moment can't seem to handle a bit of snow ha). Like alot of people i've grown up in a world where being gay (born from the media) means youre some sort of freak or bad person. i knew from a young age that i was gay or at the very least curious. I'd see some shows that only ever based a gay character on the 'huge, hand flapping, in your face, highly voiced, generally annoying' platform. I watch them and think "well i'm not like that, and i'm definately not attracted to that, so what the hell am i?!"

So i grew up like any other normal boy, or whats expected of a normal boy. played football, talked about lassies, call the geeks "poofs", eventually kissing the lassies, first drunk experience with your mates etc etc. between the ages of 12 and 20 it was definately a 'blokey' experience. then in my early twenties i decided to tell two close friends that i was 'curious',they accepted it brilliantly but i still felt wrong. This gave my best mate the courage to fully and finally come out. i say finally because he was what we'd call a 'raging homo'. he never used to get on with his dad but after he came out his dad was brand new. it was his mum that didnt speak to him for weeks then she sobbed that she always wanted grandchildren. why she was upset with him for that i dont know, she also had a straight son, its just he didnt want kids. go figure ha.

It was only after me and another friend went to the gay bars to support him that i noticed the attention i got (i suppose i'd consider myself good looking, not stunning, but good looking). So i got off with a few guys every week in the club but never taking it further (altho with the first guy i wanted to, he was pretty straight acting). But, i was afraid at the time. That was a couple of years ago now. Me and those two friends parted ways since then. so my other friends and work mates still have no idea.

So, the thing is I have no clue how to do this. i don't want my family to know right now but i HAVE to say to someone, it's eating me up. i think cause im straight acting it'll be worse (even tho me and my work mates have awesome banter at work) i just don't know how they would take it, what they would be like. theres an older gay guy in work and they've taken the piss a few times behind his back. Plus, where do you find guys who are similar - as in straight acting??!! cos in that gay bar there were pretty much zero to be found. I want to do it so that i can be 100% happy. if the world ended tomorrow i'd look back and wanna kick myself up the ass!! Any advice at all would be much appreciated.

sorry for the long message, im just venting.
Glas-Dude
 
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Re: I want to......

Postby furface » Wed Dec 22, 2010 7:04 pm

First off; Welcome aboard, ole son!!

Not to worry about the ventin', no big deal here'bouts. :D It's a safe place to let your feelings show, within disgust limits. :wink:

Y'all will come out to them what matter to ya when you're good and ready. There's not a schedule or a 'best used by' date involved a'tall. Get comfortable in your own skin and be exactly who you are. Folks who can't or won't accept you as you are likely aren't worth being in our life anyways.

Ya might want to drop a PM to glas_scot since he's a member here and hails from Glasgow as well. I recall he's a bit younger than you, but not a wee bairn. It might be good for the two of ya to share a pint or a wee dram to compare notes so to speak. He's goin' through near the same as you.

Relax, hang about and pick our brains.
"Do not ascribe malice to that which can be reasonably explained by ignorance ... or incompetence."
Isaac Asimov
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Re: I want to......

Postby olywaguy » Wed Dec 22, 2010 10:17 pm

The plus is that you live in a very large city. Check out some of the gay bars in Glasgow. Not all gay bars are the same. If one is more effeminate, there might be another that might be more masculine. Just give it a shot and check them out. There might be a right one for you.

You may also want to create profiles in gay.com and go to the chat rooms there to meet folks from your area.

Like Lou said, just be yourself. Don't change who you are...someone will spot you and want you for your lovable self. :D
Carlos

"I just want to suck his tongue out of his mouth !"--JPaul


http://www.askcarlos.com/
http://carlos-the-critic.blogspot.com/
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