First of all, Hello!
I too am also another married bi guy from Toronto and I know EXACTLY what you say. Most of the resistance I've encountered pertaining to my bisexuality has been from other men, especially those who claim they are "straight" but just like dick, or gay guys who claim I am fooling myself. Surprisingly I have also met a number of gay guys who regularly sleep with women yet still call them selves gay. Apparently denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Anyway, It can happen. You can have both. If your wife is fine with it, what does anyone else's opinion matter? It is much more common than people realize and it can be a very satisfying experience for all those involved. Me, I am in a closed loop relationship with a guy and it is working out very well. He knows my wife and adores her, and she him. We all get along nicely.
T.O. has a great bi community. Are you involved in it at all? I facilitate a monthly bi mens' support group here; a great place to meet like minded guys who are in very similar situations. If youd like more information, please PM me and I'll be glad to share. Otherwise all I can say is keep looking. Sometimes Craig's List has ads from married bi guys looking for just what you are.
Best of luck and nice to meet ya!