Gay sex vs. Straight sex

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Gay sex vs. Straight sex

Postby Ashpenaz » Sat Jan 22, 2011 1:34 pm

This post is based on a response from Nimby in an earlier thread which I've been thinking about:

"Yes, all sex is wonderful, but gay sex is different from straight sex. In straight sex, the man usually falls into the dominant role and stays there, while in gay sex, both are very equal. It really is quite a different dynamic, but the mutual exchange extremely pleasureable."

In coming to terms with the fact that I'm gay, I've had to learn to stop taking my cues about sex from straight guys. I don't think my sexuality is the same as a straight guy's, except for the object of attraction. I think that men who like sex with women find that they almost always have to be dominant and aggressive. They have to penetrate to be satisfied.

I'm discovering that there is a part of me that likes (in theory ) being aggressive and penetrating. But there's also a part that enjoys (in theory) being penetrated and receptive. I think that gays experience a wider range of sexual feelings than straights. Straight sex seems to be pretty one-dimensional. Gays can play a wide range of roles in a single relationship, at times being dominant, at others, receptive.

This is all a hypothesis. I've only recently come out and I've yet to explore the full range of my sexual feelings. But I used to feel bad because my sexual feelings seemed to be so different from straight guys, and not just because I'm attracted to men. It's because I see sex as having a lot more dimensions than most of the straight guys I know, and that just seems weird to them.

I don't think these feelings are part of my "feminine" side, either. I don't think of myself as feminine. I feel what I'd call "masculine receptive." I don't know the difference, but I'm not trying to be a woman. I want to be a man who can, at times, respond receptively to another man. And sometimes dominate another man.

This is not a Craiglist or Grindr post--I'm not looking for private messages. I just want to see if other gay men see themselves as different than straight men, other than just being attracted to guys.
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Re: Gay sex vs. Straight sex

Postby madsglen » Sat Jan 22, 2011 6:02 pm

I really don't consider myself very different from straight guys most of the time. But since I'm not straight (took years be completely comfortable with that statement...) it's also hard to say I can know for sure. On many levels I think all men are similar since we're generally raised the same and are products of our upbringing, our experiences, the times in which we grew to adulthood. Still, I have to admit that I likely can't and don't approach some things or think the same way since my experiences and struggles have been different. I'm just as different from many other gay men as I am from straight men due to my background and experiences.
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Re: Gay sex vs. Straight sex

Postby nimby » Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:51 pm

New study finds gay and bisexual men have varied sexual repertoires and anal sex isn't on the top of the list...

One of the first studies of its kind breaks down MSM sex stereotypes

Oct. 18, 2011

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. -- A new study by researchers at Indiana University and George Mason University found the sexual repertoire of gay men surprisingly diverse, suggesting that a broader, less disease-focused perspective might be warranted by public health and medical practitioners in addressing the sexual health of gay and bisexual men.

The study, published online ahead of print in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, tapped the largest sample of its kind in the United States to examine the sexual behaviors of gay and bisexual men. In collaboration with the OLB Research Institute at Online Buddies, Inc., researchers were able to include feedback from nearly 25,000 men. While gay study participants reported 1,308 unique combinations of behaviors, the most commonly reported behavior was kissing a partner on the mouth.

From a public health standpoint, say the researchers, this study provides professionals with data on the behavior of men having sex with men (MSM) that was missing from the sexual health discussion.

"Due to the disproportionate impact of HIV among MSM, the majority of research on gay and bisexual men's sexual behavior is situated within the context of disease. This emphasis has resulted in a body of literature about gay and bisexual men that is risk-focused, with limited understanding of the diversity and complexity of these men's sexual lives," said co-author Michael Reece, director of IU's Center for Sexual Health Promotion.

"In order to provide clinicians and public health professionals with the necessary tools to promote sexuality in a positive and healthy manner, a more nuanced understanding of an individual sexual experience was needed."

Lead author Joshua G. Rosenberger, professor in the Department of Global and Community Health in the College of Health and Human Services at Mason, said the study is one of the first to explore sexual behavior at the event level among a national sample of gay and bisexually identified men.

"As such, this study was focused primarily on a single sexual event -- the most recent -- and therefore these data are able to provide a level of detail about MSM sexual behavior that has not previously been documented," he said.

The study will appear in the November print issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Authors include Rosenberger from Mason's Department of Global and Community Health; Reece, Vanessa Schick and Debby Herbenick from IU's Center for Sexual Health Promotion, which is in the Department of Applied Health Science in the School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation; Barbara Van Der Pol, with CSHP and the division of Epidemiology and Biostatistics in the School of HPER's Department of Kinesiology; J. Dennis Fortenberry with IU's School of Medicine; and David S. Novak from Online Buddies, Inc. Online Buddies, Inc. is one of the world's largest operators of Internet websites for men who seek social or sexual interactions with other men.

Consistent with other recent studies that have examined similar issues among heterosexual men and women, the study findings demonstrate that gay and bisexual men have very diverse sexual repertoires.

The data revealed some interesting information on the types of sexual behavior that MSM reported, including that less than 40 percent of men engaged in anal intercourse during their most recent sexual event.

"Of all sexual behaviors that men reported occurring during their last sexual event, those involving the anus were the least common," Rosenberger said. "There is certainly a misguided belief that 'gay sex equals anal sex,' which is simply untrue much of the time."

Additional key findings include:
More than 40 percent of the study's participants reported that their most recent sexual partner was someone they were dating, their boyfriend or their spouse/partner. In comparison, an earlier study of predominantly heterosexual participants found that rate to be just over half.
There is immense variability in the sexual repertoires of gay and bisexual men, with more than 1,300 combinations of activities during their most recent sexual events.
Evaluations of the most recent sexual event with a male partner were mostly positive, with ratings of both pleasure and arousal being highest among older men.
Nearly half of participants who engaged in anal intercourse during their most recent sexual event indicated a condom was used.
About 82 percent of men report that they had an orgasm at the most recent sexual event, and men were significantly more likely to report orgasm if their sexual partner was a relationship partner.

For a copy of the study or to speak with Reece, contact Tracy James, Indiana University, at 812-855-0084 and To speak with Rosenberger, contact John Blacksten, George Mason University, at 703-993-9376 and To speak with someone at Online Buddies, Inc., contact Cathy Renna at Renna Communication, 917-757-6123 and
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Re: Gay sex vs. Straight sex

Postby olywaguy » Tue Oct 25, 2011 12:38 am

If you are a subscriber to, DList, and Big Bear Den your money is going to Online Buddies, Inc.

"I just want to suck his tongue out of his mouth !"--JPaul
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Re: Gay sex vs. Straight sex

Postby Schlodesss » Sun Nov 13, 2011 1:44 am

I dunno, i'm not straight... I have buddies who are straight and like really aggressive go get em types of women. These same guys also like being the aggressor. Seems like it depends.. so.. I'm the same. I generally would prefer to meet a guy who's bigger and more dominant / leads the way.. but every now and then I run across a guy and think to myself "you're lucky rape is illegal..." lol.. :? and half the time they are 6 inches taller / bigger than me.. it's something in the guy himself..

Phermones/chemistry?? determines how we are and what we want at that moment?
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Re: Gay sex vs. Straight sex

Postby Cachasa » Tue Dec 20, 2011 8:24 pm

You don't have to just penatrate or be penetrated there is more to gay sex then just anal.
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