Social outcast

Talk about romance and dating, or lack there of.

Moderators: selective_soldier, olywaguy, solat

Social outcast

Postby Marvinteck » Sat Nov 20, 2010 3:20 am

Im an social outcast and always have been. There is no two ways about it when I say Im definitely introverted. I suffer from social phobia and selective mutism . I enjoy the solitude of being by myself some days but feel very very alone on other days. I dont feel like I really fit into society. I have very few if any good friends outside of cyberspace. I have never been in a relationship (serious or casual for that matter). Dating and finding somebody to spend the rest of my life with seem to be pipe dreams that are out of my reach at this point. Im very prone to feeling depressed and lonely. In the past I have thought about ending my life because I hurt so much on the inside from being such an outcast from society. I can speak freely online and socialize with people. The one thing I long for the most is human touch. Talking to people online isnt the same as having an heart to heart in person with them. There is almost nothing I would not give for the opportunity of cuddling and snuggling up to a person. I just want to love and be loved. Can any of my fellow LGBT's relate or am I just the exception to the rule?
Marvinteck
Newbie
 
Posts: 41
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 12:08 pm

Re: Social outcast

Postby Ashpenaz » Sat Nov 20, 2010 8:39 am

I can relate to being an introvert. I get exhausted when I have to be around large groups. My church just had its big annual dinner, and I got so stressed, I didn't go. I didn't want to face an evening of small talk with people I rarely see. I do have a couple of good friends, but they took a long time to find, and I've had to work hard at keeping them. It takes me years to become close--literally years. I'm so ill-equipped for much of the superficiality I see in the gay community and the shallowness of so many gay relationships, it's ridiculous. I shouldn't judge, because those guys are having a lot more fun and sex than I am, but I just am not like that. So I know what it's like to look on the world from my lonely room. :?
Ashpenaz
Newbie
 
Posts: 43
Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2010 10:10 pm

Re: Social outcast

Postby Earl Butz » Sat Nov 20, 2010 4:53 pm

Oh fer sure. Big time loner here. I prefer silence to idle chit chat. But it's snot all sunshine and roses. No man is an island. Humans are social animals. You can't be a complete hermit, or you wind up a nutcase like the unabomber.
A hard man is good to find!
User avatar
Earl Butz
Veteran Member
 
Posts: 1370
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:51 am
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Re: Social outcast

Postby Marvinteck » Sat Nov 20, 2010 5:19 pm

Earl Butz wrote:Oh fer sure. Big time loner here. I prefer silence to idle chit chat. But it's snot all sunshine and roses. No man is an island. Humans are social animals. You can't be a complete hermit, or you wind up a nutcase like the unabomber.


Funny that you say that because one of my nick names is the Unabomber at work and back in highschool because I am so quiet and where hooded sweat shirts all the time during the cool season down here. :lol:

Im glad im not the only one that suffers from this problem. I am currently trying to be more social and reach out to the people around me. I am trying to broaden my horizons because I am so miserable and need to change stuff if I expect to get better. I need to get more hobbys.Its been suggested I seek out counseling to get to the root of my social phobia. Its also been suggested I start volunteering my time to help out people less fortunate then myself so i can get out of the house and meet new people. I dont see myself immersing myself into the whole gay bar scene but it has been recommended I get involved in the gay rights movement to meet more people like myself. Myrtle beach also has an gay community center I have yet to check out as well. Its not all doom and gloom for me but some days just kill me. Im content on being a bachelor most days but I need to get my social needs fulfilled if I plan on staying single so I am not always so miserable. How do y'all cope with being single and alone?
Marvinteck
Newbie
 
Posts: 41
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 12:08 pm

Re: Social outcast

Postby Phoenix6570 » Sat Nov 20, 2010 6:22 pm

I think the best thing for you to do is as you said, gain more hobbies. Just start trying out a bunch of new things and see where it takes you. Much sure you dedicate each task a fair amount of time, so you can really see if this is something that clicks with you. Perhaps you can start taking part in your friends interests as well. That way you're doing something with somebody you already know and like and that could potentially widen your circle of friends.

Being single and alone can be difficult. This is why I strongly suggest you find new ways of filling your time. Once you start to get some new activities you enjoy you can start doing these when you're feeling down. It gives you more options than just sulking around and you're doing something you enjoy.

I'm single and I actually enjoy being alone; although I do want a relationship. I live with my parents now but if I could afford my own place I would be out in a heartbeat. I have a good amount of friends that I see daily, but I value my time to myself. I think its important to have a healthy balance of alone time and social time. When I'm feeling down and lonely I like to write. Creative writing is a avid passion of mine and I'm currently working on a story. Writing when I'm upset helps me out because I can forget about everything on my mind and just focus on something entirely different. Plus its productive and I feel accomplished whenever I get a significant amount done.

Hope this helps.
"As long as a person doesn't admit he's defeated, he is not defeated-- he's just a little behind, and isn't through fighting" ~ Darrel Royal
User avatar
Phoenix6570
Veteran Member
 
Posts: 613
Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2008 11:33 pm
Location: Chester, New York


Return to Dating, Commitment and Romance

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron