Detecting Flirting

Talk about romance and dating, or lack there of.

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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby nimby » Wed Oct 21, 2009 10:54 pm

Ok, I was really bad today at the gym.

Tonight I did a really good workout and was all sweaty. So I stripped down, grabbed my towell and headded off to the showers. But they were all full and there was a cue. All the showers are individually enclosed and totally private, except for the handicapped shower which is totally open and not in use. Well I am not going to wait, so I walked over to the very unprivate shower, remove my towell, and showered away. I notice that I have an audience, so the introvert that I am, I grab the soap and proceed to do a very thorough job. I even go extra slow to make sure I get everything (and I mean everything) 8) . I occasionally glance back and notice all eyes are still on me, and it excites me. Arousal started to show but I will it to stop, rinse off, grab my towell and proceed to dry off. After I am done, I wrap my towell around me again and head for the door. As I pass them I casually mention that it is all theirs, and see their looks in the glass walls as I leave. Tee hee hee. I am so bad.
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby olywaguy » Thu Oct 22, 2009 8:58 am

Goodness, at my local Bally's, the showers are all open. There are no stalls. I guess they do this to prevent sex in the stalls.

In college, our dorm had a room full of showers and that was separated into stalls for privacy.

I don't know how it is everywhere else.

Well Nimby, hopefully you have broken some barriers and maybe a date. :D 8) :mrgreen:
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby olywaguy » Mon Nov 23, 2009 12:27 am

This past Friday at work, I went to the deli to get something to eat. I was trying to make up my mind on what to get when a nice looking redhead was passing by. We both made eye contact and he smiled. He went past me to go to the cash register but then he returned, apparently, also wanting to get a sandwich. I was wearing my name tag giving my name and where I worked at. He remembered that I worked at the library. He's taking a law class and asked me if I could help him find some articles about a case where a gay group was suing the state of Nebraska pertaining the overturn of the legislature's mandate for gay marriage in the state. The case went all the way to the state supreme court and upheld the gay marriage ban. Anywho...i told him to come see me at my office later and he did where (as you can see). The funny thing is that after we made the appointment, he leaves the deli (having not ordered anything) and went across and got some coffee and pastry. I just thought that was sweet. To go to all that trouble to just talk to me.
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Re:

Postby selective_soldier » Sat Dec 26, 2009 3:34 am

RedRage00 wrote:I'm usually the one doing the flirting :wink: :lol:

There's a difference between flirting & stalking ImageImage
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby olywaguy » Sun Dec 27, 2009 2:25 am

A couple of weeks ago when I was making my way to Mississippi from Olympia, WA via Delta Airlines, I was at the Atlanta airport. When I stepped out of the tram that took me to the other side of the airport to get to my connection to Tupelo, I noticed this very nice looking guy on the electric escalators. I was on a set and he was on the other. I looked towards his direction, he acknowledged me and said Hi with a nice big smile. He was his family.

As I headed toward my gate he and his family were ahead of me. They stopped for a minute in front of a Nathan's Hot Dog stand which was also across from the restrooms. As I passed them, I realized that I was hungry and so went to get a hot dog at Nathan's to take to the plane with me. Well, I reversed towards Nathan's and I again I looked up at him and he smiled back and said Hi to me as if he had known me all his life. That sure made me feel good.

I did finally get my hot dog from Nathan's and heard the Delta Airlines folks calling out my name since I was, apparently, running late boarding my plane.
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby butch » Sun Dec 27, 2009 6:29 am

Yesterday... Saturday, as I was walking uptown to buy my keyboard, I passed a scrawny young guy dressed in a bright patterned hoody and he had equally bright patterned boarder runners. He was taking a photograph and he smiled at me as I walked by.

Now... quite honestly, I don't think he was flirting with me. He looked like he was about 20. Rather, I suspect he liked my hat with the skull and bones patch on the front. Lots of people tell me they like my hat.

Anyhow, when I was at the corner waiting for the light, he caught up to where I was and took another photo (it was slightly foggy and I think he was trying to catch the buildings in fog back-lit by the sun). He smiled at me again.

Again... I'm certain it wasn't flirting... for some reason he just seemed to think I was, somehow, neat or something. So, I thought he was so cute and I really like to see young people taking photography seriously (I was a photographer) I walked up to him and gave him a quick photo lesson... told him a professional trick regarding using a lens hood. He thanked me, and I carried on my way to buy my keyboard.

It was a nice brief break to talk to him and tell him something that could help his photography... a pro trick.

I really like helping young guys who show a serious interest in photography. This summer I sold my digital flashmeter to a young guy I ran into a month earlier taking a photo in the rain with an old twin lens reflex. Anyone that dedicated is serious and I wasn't using my meter anymore. It would have set him back at least $400 but I sold it to him for $30. I told him I don't like to give things away or people don't appreciate it. But I broke the rule and gave him my old Nikon and a couple of lenses as well. I won't ever be using them again... film is obsolete. But he might find a use for the camera because he was, obviously, still into film.
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby nimby » Sun Dec 27, 2009 9:36 am

Plus the young ones are so darn cute.
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby glas_scot » Sun Dec 27, 2009 3:08 pm

There is a guy at my gym who is constantly eyeing me up and positiong himself so he can see me. At first I was a little creeped out, but I noticed that when ever I make eye contact and smile he looks away and blushes! I guess he's too shy to speak up so I may say hi to him next time I'm there and take it from there!
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby ispeaktexan » Sun Dec 27, 2009 3:21 pm

Seems gyms are the place to be.
I need to join one, or at least use the pass i have, but my card is expired :x
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby selective_soldier » Sun Dec 27, 2009 11:27 pm

I’m posting a lot in this section because it has me laughing to myself at a situation where this one guy was macking on this other dude so hard.

He sat right next to him at this one party. Str8 up asked dude if he was gay, the guy denied it. The more the denial, the stronger the mack/courting got. Well, the liquor helped I supoosed. 8)

I guess my country @ss had never publically seen such overt flirting by 2 guys before surrounded by unassuming or very liberal minded str8 people.

Man, Stevie Wonder could see the strong mack the one guy was putting on this dude. Both were very casual,.not socially gay detecting at all.

So despite all the twitching, fidgeting, denials of being gay at around..hmmm,, 5ish in the afternoon. By 11 that night.. wow, small wonder, the 2 were making out upstairs.
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby solitaryman1969 » Sun Dec 27, 2009 11:34 pm

selective_soldier wrote:I’m posting a lot in this section because it has me laughing to myself at a situation where this one guy was macking on this other dude so hard.

He sat right next to him at this one party. Str8 up asked dude if he was gay, the guy denied it. The more the denial, the stronger the mack/courting got. Well, the liquor helped I supoosed.

I guess my country @ss had never publically seen such overt flirting by 2 guys before surrounded by unassuming or very liberal minded str8 people.

Man, Stevie Wonder Could see the strong mack the one guy was putting on this dude. Both were very casual,.not socially gay detecting at all.

So despite all the twitching, fidgeting, denials of being gay at around..hmmm,, 5ish in the afternoon. By 11 that night.. wow, small wonder, the 2 were making out upstairs.[/color]


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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby nimby » Wed Feb 03, 2010 6:42 pm

I had this hot guy help me pee at the lab this morning.

As I arrived at the lab for my usual blod work, there was a bit of a line up. Noticed the guy standing in front of me was rather attractive from the rear. He was given a jar to pee in and off he went. Then so was I and I followed. He was already there so I took the urinal beside him (there are only two). I stood back a bit as one has to do to pee in the jar, unzipped my jeans, whipped it out and... nothing. I just went at home and couldn't quite go again. I guess he was watching me trying to pee and he said to me, "it helps if you flush the urinal. The running water helps you go." I smiled at him, with my willie in my hand in plain view of him (and his to me) both aimed in jars, and smiled. I thanked him, noticing how georgous he was, and flushed. Within seconds, success. I was peeing in front of him and he me. I was watching him and he was watching me. I got such a good look that I could read his name off his jar. I said, "yup, you're right. Guess I had stage fright." and he just laughed and smiled at me again.

We both finished at the same time, secured the tops of the jars, and tucked our weenies back into out pants, washed up and left back to the waiting area, jars in hand. We sat accross from each other and snuck glances and smiles with each until we were called into separate rooms. Ahhh. Thomas. It was fun while it lasted!!!
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby Schlodesss » Thu Feb 04, 2010 2:20 am

Haha! You have the best stories when it comes to this stuff... that stuff rarely if ever happens to me.
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby nimby » Thu Feb 04, 2010 10:27 am

I'm a big flirt, but would never take it further. It's just innocent fun. Felt like a little boy peeing in the snow with your buddy again. Really, I'm too scared of catching something from strangers. Way too much of a risk for me at this stage in the game.
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby charmcitywop » Sun Jul 11, 2010 10:50 pm

So one of the guys I work out with recently showed me a picture of his you-know-what (there's a app for that :D ) Is that a come on or something you kids do today?
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby olywaguy » Sun Jul 11, 2010 11:05 pm

charmcitywop wrote:So one of the guys I work out with recently showed me a picture of his you-know-what (there's a app for that :D ) Is that a come on or something you kids do today?


It could be a come-on, but it also could be a way for him to find out if you are gay or not by your reaction to the picture.
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby charmcitywop » Sun Jul 11, 2010 11:12 pm

Oh, he knows I'm gay so that's not the issue. Good guess though! BTW, nice to see you're still around when I pop in!
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby Cajun » Mon Jul 12, 2010 8:57 am

charmcitywop wrote:So one of the guys I work out with recently showed me a picture of his you-know-what (there's a app for that :D ) Is that a come on or something you kids do today?


Yes Gramps, that's something we do today............. :lol:
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby westboard » Mon Aug 23, 2010 7:15 pm

charmcitywop wrote:So one of the guys I work out with recently showed me a picture of his you-know-what (there's a app for that :D ) Is that a come on or something you kids do today?


WHOA...he is definitely wanting sex. i'm a little like nimby, too scared of catching something from strangers so i dont do the hookup. But even tho i'm gay and some guy shows me his wang, i'd still be like "dude...wtf are you doing showing me that?" i guess i'm too old fashioned :?

Sometimes i don't even realize when I'm flirting until my friends say "Billy, why were you flirting with that cashier girl?" hah hah of course i'm not...at least i didn't intend to. They say "you were leaning in, smiling at her and laughing." i guess thats one to know...but i was honestly just being my nice.

The other day i was going for a jog and i spot this nicely built guy walking towards me, i could tell he was cute but i was too afraid of looking up and making eye contact cuz there were drivers on the side of the road. But i couldn't resist and looked up anyways to steal a glance and it seemed like he was already looking at me (prolly cuz i was coming towards him) and he smiled and nodded, i did the same and passed him without looking back...even tho i hella wanted to cuz im too chicken sh*t of the drivers on the road seeing me.

now i dont think he was flirting or checking me out, or rather i woudln't have known since i didnt turn back to see if he gave me a second glance or not. but what i did conclude was that if he did looked back, then he's interested. Same thing as to if you were to look back. So my point in detecting flirting is when that person does something YOU would do when you're interested, but u gotta be able to detect it. when you flirt or you want someone to know your interested, what do you do? look for those same actions in another dude and he's prolly interested.

...but i wouldn't show him a picture of my wang...hah hah
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby olywaguy » Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:11 am

Whenever I go to a restaurant with my mom and sisters, they always accuse me of flirting with the waitress and apparently we also get better service when I am around. Apparently my mom and sisters don't get very good service at a restaurant when I am not around. All I am doing is being polite. I didn't realize being polite meant flirting these days.

For some reason, whenever someone stares at me directly my natural instinct is to look away especially when there are other people around and it certainly hasn't become instinctual for me to take a second look at someone after I have passed them by.

I really don't like it when the primary picture of a guy's profile in a personal's site is of their penis and that's all they show...no face pics at all. That's a big turn-off. I am primarily attracted by a guy's face. I want to see his eyes and his smile...at the very most shirtless. :D
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby westboard » Tue Aug 24, 2010 3:50 am

olywaguy wrote:Whenever I go to a restaurant with my mom and sisters, they always accuse me of flirting with the waitress and apparently we also get better service when I am around. Apparently my mom and sisters don't get very good service at a restaurant when I am not around. All I am doing is being polite. I didn't realize being polite meant flirting these days.

For some reason, whenever someone stares at me directly my natural instinct is to look away especially when there are other people around and it certainly hasn't become instinctual for me to take a second look at someone after I have passed them by.

I really don't like it when the primary picture of a guy's profile in a personal's site is of their penis and that's all they show...no face pics at all. That's a big turn-off. I am primarily attracted by a guy's face. I want to see his eyes and his smile...at the very most shirtless. :D



My best friend is a waitress and she says she's always nicer to customers who are nice to her. it's just good karma :)

I do the "looking away as soon as i see someone staring at me" thing too. Eye contact is so important these days, we really should harness this ability. But i look away from a girl (or a feminine guy) because i don't want her to think i'm checking her out cuz psh...i wasnt, hahahah. And I look away from a hot guy cuz chances are he's straight and i don't want him to think im checking him out because...he's prolly straight and "oh no he's gunna kick my ass," hahah. But we really should continue keeping eye contact with whomever we like because i have a lot of macho macho guy friends (and some not so much) whom confess they're flattered when they're hit on by other men, so need to stop thinking that just cuz they're straight (or maybe not...hopefully not that would be awesome) they're not gunna jump me just cuz i gave them the eye.

And ditto about the penis picture, when i come across one of those i just dont even both cuz they're prolly just lookin for sex...and im not. The face is much more pleasant to look at :)
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby olywaguy » Sat Oct 02, 2010 11:13 pm

What do you think of the advice given by About.com on gay flirting?


11 Things You Can Do To Pick Up More Gay Men
Start Picking Up Men Now!


From stingwood


1. Stop letting your appearance be an excuse to hide.
Have you ever seen a super-hot guy wander off with someone you wouldn’t give the time of day? That’s because the art of seduction has a lot more to do with social skills than with naked physical attraction. It’s not 30 pounds you need to lose to pick up more men—it’s your inner fears.

2. Approach a lot of guys.
To get started in the pick-up game, you need to go where gay men are and learn to approach them. And not just one or two guys, but many guys. If you can’t strike up a conversation, you don’t have a chance to pick up and eventually seduce someone you’re attracted to.

3. Don’t hesitate.
Nothing conveys indecision and nervousness like hesitation. Indecision and nervousness are not attractive traits. So practice the three-second rule: train yourself to approach your target within three seconds of seeing him.

4. Learn some approaches.
An approach is an excuse— any excuse— to start a conversation with someone: “How do I get to Hyatt Hotel?” “There’s some lint on your collar.” “I noticed something about you…” The easiest of all approaches is simply to smile and say “hi.” Forget pick up lines like “I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.”— they’re phony, convey too much sexual interest, and leave you no place to take the conversation.

5. Have a opener.
Once you've exchanged a few words develop openers or standard conversational ploys that will attract your target. Try something startling: “That wasn’t your car on fire in the parking lot, was it?” “Did you see those two guys fighting outside?” Or get an opinion: “Hey, can I ask you a question? What’s the best way to get revenge on an ex? This guy I know…” Develop your opener into a little routine by adding vivid details (“One fireman was so hunky that…”) Get your target involved and keep him engaged until he gives signs of starting to relax. Sometimes it helps to give the opener a time constraint so that he thinks you’ll shortly be on your way (“I’ve got to go find my friend, but…)

6. Learn disinterested interest.
keep him off balance when he suspects you’re trying to pick him up. This allows time for his attraction to develop. Keep talking in a friendly way while pretending you’re not really that interested sexually.

7. Don’t compliment- neg.
Since compliments (“I love your smile!”) give away your attraction, throw them in the dust bin with the pick-up lines. Instead, learn to neg. Negging is the art of giving a half-compliment, setting up a dissonance in your pick-up target. Examples: “I love your smile— are you wearing braces?” “That’s a nice shirt— did you get it at the outlet mall?” “I’ve never seen hair like that before.” The neg should always sound friendly and positive and only subliminally be insulting. Negsexcite your subject by sending contradictory signals spinning in his brain and creating excitement he will be intrigued to resolve.

8. Demonstrate your social value.
When you meet a guy, don’t stop talking- just stop talking aimlessly. Learn to be funny and entertaining and cast yourself in a positive light in the stories you tell. Tell him about the time you went camping and scared away the bear, or how great your new gym routine is making you feel. Talk about ex-boyfriends or hang a “friend” around your shoulder to demonstrate that others think you’re attractive. In other words, give him enough ammunition to justify an attracted toward you. Once an attraction develops, you’ll see the signals in his eyes and body language.

9. Touch.
Without touching there is no sex. To get the ball rolling, touch early and often. Make sure your touches are sensual and motivating, not crude sexual pawing. Examine his cool wristwatch. Flatten his mussed-up collar. Slap away his too-familiar fingers. Read his palm. Test his kiss-ability quotient. Your fleeting touches will leave him begging for more.

10. Isolate, move, develop rapport.
At some point in the evening, he may end up in your bedroom. You can accelerate the process by leading him to a neutral location away from his friends. Continue developing rapport and sexual interest. Invite him to a quiet corner of the bar, outside for a breath of air or to a nearby pizza place. Then invite him back to your place.

11. Make him a sexual co-conspirator.
It takes two to tango. Back at your pad, ask him to pick out some soft music, or turn down the lights, or massage your back. Let him be your partner in setting up the sex scene. You might both be surprised by what develops naturally. Make him feel at ease and develop things naturally.

stingwood is the founder of guytrap.com and a Gay Life contributor.


©2010 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company.


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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby Phoenix6570 » Sun Oct 03, 2010 1:01 pm

I could see people thinking I'm flirting with them when I'm just trying to be nice. I'm a very smiley type of guy haha. So when I'm out and about its not unusual for me to shoot a smile at someone; guy or girl. I think its a nice polite thing to do and its always nice to receive a warm smile from someone you don't even know. It gives you a happier outlook going about your day like this.

I'll admit usually its woman who will smile back at me or will just smile randomly. I guess for men its odd; that's why I'll get nervous after doing it sometimes. My first thought is they probably think I'm coming on to them...
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby nimby » Sun Oct 03, 2010 7:32 pm

olywaguy wrote:What do you think of the advice given by About.com on gay flirting?



Sounds like all good advice. I took notes, you know, just in case. LOL!!
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Re: Detecting Flirting

Postby olywaguy » Tue Oct 12, 2010 1:10 am

Had a great day as far as flirting today.

After I parked my car on the furthest lot on campus so I can exercise in order to lose some weight, I went through the campus. As I approached one of the dorms, this tall curly blonde haired guy was singing fairly loud and he seemed to be very chipper. Nice eyes and nice smile. So, I stopped to listen to him and he and I got to chatting and flirting with each other. We gazed at each other for at least a solid minute before I asked him if I could kiss him. He said yes. Kissed him on the cheek and he gave me a couple of great hugs...one of those hugs lasted a fairly long time too. I asked for his name. He told me. I told him mine and told him where I worked at. Asked him if I would see him again and he said yes. Both of our faces were literally radiating. I could feel it. Made the rest of the day a happy one for me. :D 8) :) :wink:

I hope I see him soon.
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