BAREBACKERS?? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THEM?

Discussion on what it means to be straight acting, whether it's good, bad or indifferent.

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Postby paguy17551 » Thu Mar 13, 2008 12:21 pm

qwertz wrote:I hate barebackers.


I don't, but I don't do it, and hate their logic, and hate being attacked by some of the most extreme of them for being protective of my negative status.

wanting to live to be 95 is a goal of mine. Sue me. :roll:
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Postby gvtire » Thu Mar 13, 2008 12:50 pm

If you are in a monogamous relationship and both are clean I don't see a problem, but those that are barebacking with casual hook-ups ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MINDS, there is no cure, no matter what anyone says
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Re: BAREBACKERS?? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THEM?

Postby RedKen99 » Thu Mar 20, 2008 9:10 pm

Kingsley_Shackelbolt wrote:What do you think of there lifestyle?

What do you think of someone who chooses to live this lifestyle?

I know the average poster is likely to either bash,or criticize them,claiming there bad role models(when in actuality there is no rule or law stating they had to become anyones role model).Personally i am for anyone who is aware of the likely results,chooses not to deceive others.I always find myself questioning the hypocrisy in individuals criticizing them,calling there behaviors absurd,and ignorance to the risk of transmitting a potential deadly disease,when these same individuals are stuck in Popeyes eating foods that lead to the number 1 killer among many americans.


Well in my view, it's thinks it's great for them. I can understand men who just want to stick it in! But you have to be really wise and make your own calls. If you're having random sex with strangers, then that's really shocking.
I know two men who have HIV from barebacking. One of them is in the army and spreads it like a plague to any man he can get his hands on. I reported him to the Army Board...

The other is a very handsome man, who is looker pale and thinner these day. I love him and want to date him..
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Postby RedRage00 » Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:15 pm

I can see it working out for a couple like Paul & Steve because they are in a monogamous relationship and if you have ever hung out with them 2 you would know that no one else will ever get in the middle of them. Its that good of a relationship. I don't think those 2 have ever been apart from each other for more than 5 minutes (when Steve leaves to go grab a beer at the bar maybe LOL) so I don't think anything bad could happen.

Me on the other hand....I dont know if I could ever fully trust someone 100% to do something like that. I have known people that have contracted HIV because they thought they were in a monogamous relationship but in reality their partner was out being a little whore. I don't know....Im just really freaked out about catching STDs.

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Postby rte99 » Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:52 pm

RedRage00 wrote:I don't know....Im just really freaked out about catching STDs.

Right on. The world needs more people who are freaked out about catching them. I don't know when they stopped being scary, but a sometimes a healthy bit of fear is a good thing.
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Postby darkwolf » Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:03 pm

like many i think barebacking for fun is the worst idea anyone could come up wiht and with spreading it willingly, i wont even go there. but as for doin it in a mono relationship, i have mixed feelings. you should always be careful, but some feel that it brings you closer due to the complete trust you would have. for me the jury is still out.
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Only in a long-term relationship

Postby Xian » Tue Apr 01, 2008 7:48 am

My boyfriend and I bareback - but we've been together for nearly 7 years and it wasn't until we were together about a year and a half and moved in together that we lost the condoms. We had both been tested and are monogamous.

I do not understand barebacking casually. I'm pretty much a bottom and I've been sexually active for more years than I'd care to count. So, for me barebacking was and is a deal breaker.
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Re: Only in a long-term relationship

Postby RedKen99 » Tue Apr 01, 2008 7:42 pm

Xian wrote:My boyfriend and I bareback - but we've been together for nearly 7 years and it wasn't until we were together about a year and a half and moved in together that we lost the condoms. We had both been tested and are monogamous.


Lucky you!
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Postby TheWoofMan » Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:31 pm

I think it's fine if you're in a monogamous/closed relationship or an open relationship that's fluid bonded as they say.

But again I've never barebacked.

I don't want to catch anything or if I were having sex with a woman catch anything from her or get her pregnant, and as far as sex with men goes I don't swallow and I'm not that into anal sex but if a guy wants me to put some toys in him condoms are used on them. I hope that's not TMI but I am careful about things.

I find it weird how my hetero male/female friends are into barebacking even with strangers, they don't get tested and talk with their partners and get tested again before deciding not to use condoms, and how a lot of them have never been tested at all! :-\

As far as people who bareback/swallow with strangers I think that they're into high risk sex, living in denial, and have a death wish. Same goes for the people who are into PNP (party and play or using drugs like meth and barebacking), bug chasers (people who actually want to become HIV+, as messed up as it sounds there are people who think like this), and I know men who are HIV+ who swallow/bareback and don't seem to agree with the fact that you can get other strains of HIV and get reinfected.

I have friends who have had unprotected sex, sometimes multiple times with HIV+ people (sometimes they didn't know until after they had sex and the guy told), and they did not seroconvert but they're very lucky.
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Postby Cachasa » Fri Jul 18, 2008 11:38 am

It's gross and worng.

It spreads HIV. That's a fact and if someone is willing to go out to the club, pick someone up and bareback with them, then they are stupid. When you ignore obvious facts and do it anyway that means you're stupid. Not ignorent or innocent, stupid.


As for commited closed relationships. I guess it would be OK. It wouldn't be that much different from a husband and wife not using condoms. Although I would never top...I don't want what's up there to get on what's down there...lol. Also bottoming...I'm just to afraid of STD's I would always use a condom.
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Postby edu999 » Fri Jul 18, 2008 11:40 am

For committed, closed relationships then it's perfectly fine.

For casual sex, or uncommitted relationships, it's too risky. I don't agree that it's gross, but I agree that it's stupid.
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Postby qwertz » Fri Jul 18, 2008 4:36 pm

There is one thing I get really mad about. It 's barebacking. Protect yourselves. You are more than worth it.
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Postby Westwood » Fri Jul 25, 2008 12:57 am

I buried 37 friends in 4 1/2 years during the first wave of AIDs. Can you imagine the agony? I tended to keep my dick in my pants unless I was in a relationship even then. That's why I'm alive and negative at the ripe old age of 56. We lost an entire GENERATION of my age group.

If you're in an exclusive relationship and after you've both been tested at 6 months and 1 year, you can drop the condoms.
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Postby Pazuzu P. Sasquatch » Fri Jul 25, 2008 4:10 am

I'll tell ya what: You bareback every day for the next six months. I'll have a piece of fried chicken every day for the next six months. . . . Or hell, for that matter, you backback every day for the next six months, and I'll smoke a pack of Marlboro every day for the next six months. . . . . Either way, I'll bet I end up living longer than you.

And please don't hand me a bunch of crap about "choice" and the "hypocrisy" of those who criticize the "informed" choices of others, blah, blah, blah. . . . Not all choices are equally valid. I'm not oppressing anyone when I refuse to "respect" self-destructiveness . . . . I'm 50 years old and I've seen plenty of people die of AIDS. Anyone who'd knowingly embrace the risk of that kind of death is an idiot. Anyone who'd be a party to exposing others to AIDS, however "honest" they're being about it, is scum.
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Hey All

Postby Creature_3 » Sat Jul 26, 2008 2:32 am

Hey....this is the old Creature.........It's been awhile. I joined the Navy.

Anyways.............barebackers.............I'd hardly call a personal choice a lifestyle. It's really someone's personal choice.

Now barebackers that are positive that do not disclose their status........that is deplorable.
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Postby Pazuzu P. Sasquatch » Sat Jul 26, 2008 5:29 am

I think it's all deplorable. Whether or not a barebacker is "honest" about his poz status, he's still complicit in spreading death to others. And by the way, not all poz people know they're poz.

Also, what makes you think someone who doesn't care enough about his health to use a rubber is going to worry about getting tested regularly?

Oh, yeah. One more thing. . . . Sometimes people tell lies to get laid.

You wanna bareback? It's your life. You want me respect you for it? Hold your breath, and I'll get back to you. . . .
When I was driving once, I saw this painted on a bridge: "I don't want the world. I just want your half."
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Postby Ray » Sun Jul 27, 2008 11:18 am

This is what i have learned from one of my gay nursefriend. A lot of the young gay guy who can't wait to loose IT doesn't understand the risk of barebacking. I was one of them back then and he gave me a long lecture about everything i need to know aout AIDS and i have been doing AIDS screening every two year since 2003. The true is barebacking increased the risk of getting AIDS but oral sex (i am not sure if this word is okay on the forum) can be just as risky if you have an open wound in your mouththat serves as a way for the virus to get into your system. Monogamous/commited relationship is safe only if you can make sure you and or other partner stay honest to each other. I have been with Steve since 04 and we both tested negative.

A common misconception only gay people catches AIDS is not true. AIDS targets those who don't practise safe sex.
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Postby Footballhero24 » Mon Aug 11, 2008 5:13 am

while its hot to watch men bareback, it doesnt sound so hot to engage
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Postby Ashn Dust » Thu Dec 04, 2008 10:52 pm

Barebacking sounds like a butch and manly word, Like "Me and Devin are going to make a campfire, pitch a tent and then bareback."

Seriously though, use protection with new partners. And wear repellant while camping, or you'll get bit while your barebacking.
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Postby dracuscalico » Fri Dec 05, 2008 6:30 pm

Cachasa wrote:It's gross and worng.

Although I would never top...I don't want what's up there to get on what's down there...lol. Also bottoming...I'm just to afraid of STD's I would always use a condom.


So you would never top EVEN with a condom? Do you realize that if guys are bottoms they tend to clean that out? That plus a condom and you won't be packin' pudding, you'll just be stirring the bowl.
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Re:

Postby lazyrascal » Sun Aug 23, 2009 5:37 pm

Yes, if it was truly committed and truly long term and we'd both tested as clean. I don't really have a problem with it in that case.


This was the attitude me and my BF of five years shared for some time, but both of our doctors still advise us to use condoms even if the TRUST is there. Besides becoming infected with an STD, barebacking can cause a prostate or urinary tract infection. You know, during all the pelvic trusting the smallest amount of bacteria can find its way into the wrong place. I'd have to admit anyhow, raw sex definitely feels so much better. Whenever we do bareback I always make him clean it out really good and vice versa. After all these years I can only recall one or two times things got a little messy.
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Re: BAREBACKERS?? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THEM?

Postby mijopaalmc » Thu Jul 08, 2010 12:35 pm

Beware the zombie thread.

I was just browsing the forums and saw that this was still on the first page of "Straight Acting Men".

After re-reading it, I still come away with a disquiet about the antipathy that is expressed against barebackers in this thread. Yes, (insert all necessary disclaimers about understanding the health risks associated with unprotected sex), but I still see the anger that is directed against barebackers (and the fact that such anger is phrased as being about "barebackers") to be reductive and dehumanizing. In fact, I find the anger expressed at barebackers in this thread to be as reductive and dehumanizing as the hatred that conservative Christians have for homosexuals.

Bare in mind that I am not equating barebacking and homosexuality per se just the fact that anger about (or hatred of) both seem to reductive and dehumanizing for the people who "practice" either. First, such anger and/or hatred reduces the practitioners to a single aspect of their person. Second, that aspect seems to blot out all other aspects of their humanity.

Now, I'm not saying that discussion of barebacking should be off-limits; I'm just wondering if it can be done without dehumanizing barebackers.
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Re: BAREBACKERS?? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THEM?

Postby Earl Butz » Thu Jul 08, 2010 1:59 pm

I guess it's a personal choice issue as long as you're not infecting people. I eat my share of *koff* fatty foods, and I'm sure I'm headed for a heart attack or stroke so who am I to judge.

I agree with the majority....committed relationship, it's fine.
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Re: BAREBACKERS?? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THEM?

Postby butch » Thu Jul 08, 2010 4:15 pm

In spite of the fact that we all do it, I try to keep my mouth shut and keep my judgements to myself (and you who know me are aware how hard that is for me, motormouth that I am). But I consider most people to be idiots anyway... there I go again.

I don't see that it's anyone's business what people do in bed if they're adults... let's call adulthood being over 25 years old. In my opinion, and I'm full of it as you know, people younger than 25 are still very immature about life in spite of their "knowing it all". So... by then they should know a thing or two about health risks and should make their own decisions about what they do sexually and you shouldn't pass judgment on their decisions regarding their sexual pleasures.

It's a judgment call and, as Ann Landers said, frequently, MYOB.

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Re: BAREBACKERS?? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THEM?

Postby mijopaalmc » Thu Jul 08, 2010 5:07 pm

The thing that I am wondering is whether the condemnation of barebacking is a backhanded condemnation of non-monogamy.

I wonder how many who have posted negatively about barebacking in this thread would be as critical of a committed and completely monogamous, serodiscordant couple who had decided that they were going to consistently and correctly use condoms every time they had sex. The relevant difference between the two situations is that in the former one is playing the odds about whether there partner at the time will be HIV+ whereas in the latter one is playing the odds about whether the condom will fail.

The issue here is that rate of seroconversion among serodiscordant, consistent condom user is about 2% and the seroconversion rate on a per act basis for unprotected, receptive anal intercourse is about .5%. In other words, if one is only having unprotected sex with only HIV+ partners, they would have to have sex 780 times to run the same cumulative risk in the same time period that serodicordant couples do.
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