I want to be more str8 acting

Discussion on what it means to be straight acting, whether it's good, bad or indifferent.

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Postby kyrio » Tue Aug 26, 2008 6:11 am

olywaguy wrote:
kyrio wrote:I grow a little beard now... :) which makes me less twinky, and I did that for the sake of my job. Grrr


What is your job?


sumthing 2 do with leadership
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BE, NOT JUST ACT STRAIGHT!

Postby masculinity » Tue Aug 26, 2008 1:19 pm

Either you're straight (straight for me means masculine, not 'heterosexual' which is the western/ gay definition) or you're not.

I guess by straight, you too mean masculine and not really heterosexual, because when you act-straight, then you're actually acting masculine... and you want to look more masculine than (merely) someone who is interested in women.

My point, is if you're straight (masculine) you really don't have to try or act anything. If you're not, then why bother to put on an act -- to try to be something you are not.
I don't know maybe you can fool people for a night or something, though I think people are too smart, they'll tell anyways.

The root of all evil and all pain is when we try to go away from our nature and try to be someone we are not.

However, those who really have a problem are the straight guys who accept their feelings for men, and then the society imposes extreme social femininity on them, which makes even the most masculine guy feel insecure about his manhood. And then, he may try to find out ways to be more masculine. Just the imposition of the 'gay' identity in itself is a very demasulating experience.
But, more important than looking the part is being the part. If you're naturally masculine, but feel that the society may have inhibited your manliness, then you should try to BE a masculine male, rather than just try to ACT.

BE STRAIGHT, DON'T JUST ACT!
Gays are a different species altogether from men (and women). They're not "men who like men," they are "third gender who like men."

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Re: BE, NOT JUST ACT STRAIGHT!

Postby qwertz » Wed Aug 27, 2008 5:17 pm

masculinity wrote:Either you're straight (straight for me means masculine, not 'heterosexual' which is the western/ gay definition) or you're not.

I guess by straight, you too mean masculine and not really heterosexual, because when you act-straight, then you're actually acting masculine... and you want to look more masculine than (merely) someone who is interested in women.

My point, is if you're straight (masculine) you really don't have to try or act anything. If you're not, then why bother to put on an act -- to try to be something you are not.
I don't know maybe you can fool people for a night or something, though I think people are too smart, they'll tell anyways.

The root of all evil and all pain is when we try to go away from our nature and try to be someone we are not.

However, those who really have a problem are the straight guys who accept their feelings for men, and then the society imposes extreme social femininity on them, which makes even the most masculine guy feel insecure about his manhood. And then, he may try to find out ways to be more masculine. Just the imposition of the 'gay' identity in itself is a very demasulating experience.
But, more important than looking the part is being the part. If you're naturally masculine, but feel that the society may have inhibited your manliness, then you should try to BE a masculine male, rather than just try to ACT.

BE STRAIGHT, DON'T JUST ACT!


I do not equal straight with masculine at all. There are enough examples in history not to do it (the Japanese samourai - I don't know how you write "samourai" in English -, the Spartans, several tribes considered as "primitive", the guys interested into male-to-male sex I know are very masculine too). There is no reason whatsoever to equal straight with masculine. You can as well equal male-to-male sex with masculine and straight sex with effeminate. Besides I know quite some quite effeminate straights. I totally equate straight with effeminate as straights are attracted to women.

I agree with you it is much more difficult for a masculine guy who is attracted to guys to accept this attraction, but that is not different in India or in the West. The equation gay/effeminate has been pushed to such extremes all over the world the masculine part of the "gay" world (=the world of the boy next door attracted to men) has become totally invisible.
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Re: BE, NOT JUST ACT STRAIGHT!

Postby masculinity » Thu Aug 28, 2008 1:34 pm

qwertz wrote:
masculinity wrote:Either you're straight (straight for me means masculine, not 'heterosexual' which is the western/ gay definition) or you're not.

I guess by straight, you too mean masculine and not really heterosexual, because when you act-straight, then you're actually acting masculine... and you want to look more masculine than (merely) someone who is interested in women.

My point, is if you're straight (masculine) you really don't have to try or act anything. If you're not, then why bother to put on an act -- to try to be something you are not.
I don't know maybe you can fool people for a night or something, though I think people are too smart, they'll tell anyways.

The root of all evil and all pain is when we try to go away from our nature and try to be someone we are not.

However, those who really have a problem are the straight guys who accept their feelings for men, and then the society imposes extreme social femininity on them, which makes even the most masculine guy feel insecure about his manhood. And then, he may try to find out ways to be more masculine. Just the imposition of the 'gay' identity in itself is a very demasulating experience.
But, more important than looking the part is being the part. If you're naturally masculine, but feel that the society may have inhibited your manliness, then you should try to BE a masculine male, rather than just try to ACT.

BE STRAIGHT, DON'T JUST ACT!


I do not equal straight with masculine at all. There are enough examples in history not to do it (the Japanese samourai - I don't know how you write "samourai" in English -, the Spartans, several tribes considered as "primitive", the guys interested into male-to-male sex I know are very masculine too). There is no reason whatsoever to equal straight with masculine. You can as well equal male-to-male sex with masculine and straight sex with effeminate. Besides I know quite some quite effeminate straights. I totally equate straight with effeminate as straights are attracted to women.

So we're playing the word game here, are we?

However, I am not inclined to accept the 'gay' definition of 'straight' (after all the word 'straight' was developed by gays, once they were themselves created by the heterosexual society). It is clear that 'straight' does not mean heterosexual, even so, the western society accepts this definition coined by gays.

The Samurais and the Greeks and other ancient warriors that you have mentioned were definitely straight. Back then 'straight' men used to fall in love with men and form sexual-romantic-emotional bonds with other men, while marriage was only for reproduction and a social duty. The gays were the Catamites, and berdaches and Hijras, and Lady boys and Pandakas and what not... but not the Samurais and Alexanders. They're just not the legacies (is that the word?) of gays.
Gays are a different species altogether from men (and women). They're not "men who like men," they are "third gender who like men."

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Postby foxeyes2 » Thu Aug 28, 2008 2:14 pm

^ No you are wrong.
We are all one tribe. We are all one people.
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Postby masculinity » Fri Aug 29, 2008 1:46 pm

foxeyes2 wrote:^ No you are wrong.

Well, if you insist... otherwise I know, and you know it too, and so does everyone else, that I'm speaking the truth, and only the truth.
It's another matter this lie suits the group of people who fit in the hidden definition of 'gay'.
Gays are a different species altogether from men (and women). They're not "men who like men," they are "third gender who like men."

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Postby foxeyes2 » Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:16 pm

^ No you are not.
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Postby masculinity » Sun Aug 31, 2008 1:38 am

foxeyes2 wrote:^ No you are not.


Thank you for dismissing me without ascribing reasons.
Gays are a different species altogether from men (and women). They're not "men who like men," they are "third gender who like men."

http://youth-masculinity.blogspot.com
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Re: BE, NOT JUST ACT STRAIGHT!

Postby masculinity » Sun Aug 31, 2008 1:50 am

qwertz wrote:I do not equal straight with masculine at all.


a) So, what do you think the term 'straight-acting' on this site means? Does it mean that it's a group of gays who act as if they like females?

Come off it. You know that quite well that this isn't true. What these guys mean is that they are imitating the masculine mannerisms of the 'straights' (which is pretty odd, I mean 'different' considering 'gay' is a third sex space).

Straight is a space for 'masculine gendered males'. Heterosexuality is imposed on them, so much so that the term has been made synonymous with heterosexuality.

2) If you say straights can also be feminine, I don't agree. If you say heterosexuals can also be feminine, I would agree emphatically. In fact, heterosexuals are at least equally as feminine as the gays. However, their femininity is usually subdued and hidden by the enormous social manhood that they're given for their heterosexuality, and also hidden by the masculine gendered males who 'act' heterosexual in order to remain in the straight space.

However, these heterosexuals are not really straights, they actually belong in the 'gay' or 'queer' space, because they are also a third sex, not men.

These days some of them call themselves 'meterosexuals'. Others prefer to be known as 'men' or 'straight men' but they're not really straight. because they're feminine.

3) Striaght = masculine gendered male (and not heterosexual)
Gay = Queer = feminine gendered male or third sex (not man who likes men)

So a feminine male who is exclusively into women is also a 'gay' just like you guys.

Afterall, transgendered heterosexual males are formally included in the LGBT group.

By the same standards, straight men who like men should be given space in the straight space, not in the LGBT space.

Do you know, there's also an emerging term called "Queer heterosexuality" and "Queer heterosexuals".

Now, if Queer meant 'man who likes men', then the term "Queer heterosexuality" would be stupid.

The fact that the terms exists in the west and is increasing in popularity, means that Queer is not equal to men who like men. But it means feminine male.

http://video-on-heterosexuality-is-queer.blogspot.com/
Gays are a different species altogether from men (and women). They're not "men who like men," they are "third gender who like men."

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Postby qwertz » Mon Sep 01, 2008 5:36 pm

You seem to forget straights have to act their straightness as well, perhaps even more than gays have to. Proof: the differences in straight acting between countries. In France you act it out in a different way than in Spain. In Italy it is completely different. And the differences in straight acting between the UK and the US are so enormous you hardly can believe it. Have you ever heard an American talking straight and a British talking straight? It's pure acting. Straights have to act as well. It only became very slowly a necessity after world war I when the American army didn't admit gays anymore. Only then appeared the straight acting compulsion. The gay prohibition in almost all armies in Europe (not all) was a fact in the European armies at about just before world war II. The straight acting myth seems to reach his height at present as a far sequel of the gay prohibition in world war I, but is only a myth. Ever before it was not a compulsory necessity.

The only really common thing between "straights" in "straight acting" seems to be the way they have to react to humiliation, in which case they are completely wrong. See Zidane:

http://voyage.typepad.com/china/2006/07 ... calle.html

Zidane was clearly misled in this case and clearly wrong. He was misled by the way he was formated. The strange thing is all straights and in a lesser way gays seem formatted in exactly the same way when it comes to humiliation. All macho guys think Zidaane was right. Well, he simply wasn't. He should not have "acted" according to the way he was formated.
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Re: change is good

Postby masculinity » Mon Sep 08, 2008 10:55 am

dracuscalico wrote:I haven't read every single post but as far as masculinizing yourself. Stop hanging out with your female friends so much. Women generally try to take a guys edge away to make him "less threatening" despite the fact that they chase after the bad boys anyway.

Pick a masculine prototype and become it. If you are attracted to muscular guys become one. If you like guys who ride motorcycles, get one. By having something in common with the guys you are attracted to, it'll pave the road to meet them even if they just become friends with similar interests. Having more male friends will give you male validation which goes a long way in helping you exude masculine confidence, the most desirable trait that "straight acting" guys are looking for.

I completely agree.

I can tell you something else, fall in love with a masculine straight guy and have a relationship with him... Nothing is more masculinising in this world as this.

Of course, anything which comes close is to be part of a straight male group. But for that you have to disown publicly your sexual interest in men. However, there's a lot of male eroticism present in these groups on the sly.

However these groups have to be all male, and I think in the West you don't have such groups anymore.
Gays are a different species altogether from men (and women). They're not "men who like men," they are "third gender who like men."

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Postby HoosierFuzz » Sat Nov 08, 2008 10:17 am

nitroike wrote:but see thats the thing, I really want to be a different person. Im pretty sure I need to change some things around in my life, because most of my decisions were based on what my straight female friends thought were attractive, and I really just need some good solid advice to follow. I guess there isnt any out there..


If you aren't yourself, then all you are is a fake. No one truly likes a fake. I think the better question for you is how do you figure out how to love yourself and love who you are. Once you solve that, you will find that you will never need to ask how to be masculine again....because you won't need to be more masculine.

Don't worry about what anyone else thinks you should be. Just find your own way, and you will find contentment!
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Fascinated by Masculinity

Postby Learning » Thu Mar 26, 2009 6:45 pm

Some of you may be surprised to find that straight guys also want to be more "straight acting," but they may talk of acting more confident, attractive, manly, or more like an alpha male. There are workshops, DVDs, websites and other resources to help people learn these skills of projecting a strong, confident image. You could find information by searching for Lance Mason, David Deangelo, becomesocial.com, or many others. Here is a video of David Deangelo's that illustrates the point:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFkbVYeKHF0

Peggy E. Gallaher wrote an unusual paper for the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology called "Individual Differences in Nonverbal Behavior: Dimensions of Style." Gallaher's 1992 paper appears in Vol. 63, No. 1, pp. 133-145. Gallaher summarizes the cues that people use to recognize masculinity such as expansive body movement and loud voice.

Because the nonverbal behavior that people interpret as masculine has direct ties to how people feel, keeping a relaxed, cheerful attitude seems essential. Relaxation exercises, yoga, and cognitive psychology books like those by Dr. David Burns have valuable information on keeping that peace of mind.

Lots of people want to carry themselves well and speak with a charismatic voice. I'd be fascinated to see what others have to say about how to develop masculine style.
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Postby masculinity » Fri Mar 27, 2009 9:52 am

The best way to be more masculine (isn't that what you mean by more straight acting) is to hang out more and more with straight men and keep away from the gays and the gay scene. Nothing works more efficiently to bring out and put into focus, even the slightest femininity in you than association with gays.

Avoiding the company of women also helps, but I guess, that is kind of impossible in the West.

Masculine males are born with the 'seed' of masculinity when they are born. But this 'seed' has to be cultured and developed into full fledged manhood -- a process which should properly happen during the adolescence. And the catalyst for this transformation of individual masculinity into manhood are men's spaces and bonds with other men in these spaces.

When the masculinity of individuals combine in men's spaces, they multiply into a strong masculine force, which in turn is divided amongst the individual members as 'manhood'.

Males with this seed of masculinity, who are somehow or the other, deprived of this chance of being a member of men's spaces, of associating with other masculine males, tend to have underdeveloped manhood and a weak sense of being a man, even if they don't quite feel feminine.

In westernized, heterosexualized societies, boys who develop a strong and exclusive attraction for other men, may be kept out of the men's spaces, because these spaces have been made exclusively heterosexual. Although, most masculine males, fake or exaggerate their heterosexuality to gain access to these men's spaces, so that they can achieve 'manhood', males who don't do that, for whatever reasons, are left out... they may themselves psychologically bar themselves from this experience.

The association with the gay identity, with its third gender background, further hinders the development of manhood of such masculine males. This association tends to burden these males with artificial social femininity, which gives them a femininity they don't want. And when these males finally meet other 'gay' males, and hang out with them, this association finally does the most harm to their manhood... by actually developing whatever 'natural femininity' they may have... developing it into a big nuisance that is difficult to hide.

Therefore, the best way to break this cycle is to reject the gay identity and associate more with both, straight males and the truly masculine males who like men. When you hang out with them, you have to compete with them, and this competition brings out the best in you, developing your manhood in the process -- also hardening you somewhat. You may be put down a lot in the beginning, but you can go on changing as you get more and more inspiration, threats and rewards to do so.

Having a romantic relationship with a straight guy as an 'equal' also helps a great deal. Such a bond can rub off a lot of manhood that the straight guy has acquired through his association with other straight males in men's spaces.

And do have a look at this site:

Heroic Homosex
Gays are a different species altogether from men (and women). They're not "men who like men," they are "third gender who like men."

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Submissive Stereotypes v. Straight Acting

Postby Learning » Tue May 05, 2009 6:54 am

A gay man who wants to act more dominant and "straight acting" comes into conflict with the expectations and self-fulfilling prophecies of stereotypes that encourage submissiveness in gay people.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotypes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self_fulfilling_prophecy

There is no reason why gay people should always have to present themselves one down. You are showing a lot of pride by acting with calmness, strength, and authority.
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