How Hard do You Work at being Str8acting?

Discussion on what it means to be straight acting, whether it's good, bad or indifferent.

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Postby edu999 » Sun Jul 22, 2007 11:50 pm

If you have to work at it, then all that means is that it's not your true, innate way of being. That which comes naturally doesn't require any work at all.

So... macho, butch, quiet, femme, flaming... whatever... if it involves "work", then it ain't you.
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Postby fsu_cj » Sat Dec 08, 2007 1:14 am

I don't believe that I have any stereotypically "gay" tendencies except for that whole I love penis thing. My only problem is at work. A few of the guys there only speak with monosyllabic grunts unless you talk about bitches or anal. Of course I can’t really talk with them about that because they really wouldn’t want to hear about how I like it "that way".
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Postby Terry751 » Sat Dec 08, 2007 1:23 am

Hey guys, haven't been back on this board but I'm glad it's up again. Anyway, I hate to say it but I've been making more of an effort to "butch it up" at work because I'm trying for a promotion. I don't think the department I'm trying for is homophobic (at least from what I've heard) but somehow I often try to act like one of the guys with people I don't normally associate with. Just my thoughts though.
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Re: How hard do you work at being straight acting?

Postby americanme985 » Thu Dec 27, 2007 12:17 am

First off I am new here in a sense that I registered a few years ago but never actually replied to anything. Now, The topic in question.................................I honestly feel that I do not have to work at the acting part. It seems to be the natural me i guess. I do know that sometimes I second guess when I say some things just to see if my evil-homo sidekick is trying to make it obvious that I am gay. I just act as I am and things work well for me this way. I have never been asked in a serious manner if I was gay. So I guess I am just a very good actor playing in a lifetime staring role.
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Postby Joey » Tue Jan 08, 2008 5:06 am

I don't exhibit many of the stereotypical mannerisms, so I don't ever worry about having to act "straight."
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Postby selective_soldier » Tue Jan 08, 2008 5:37 am

Joey wrote:I don't exhibit many of the stereotypical mannerisms, so I don't ever worry about having to act "straight."


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Postby solitaryman1969 » Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:45 pm

I've never had to "act" straight. I just am.

Wait, that came out wrong...but you know what I mean.

Funny thing is, my background is fashion design and I like Madonna!:lol:

But I don't want to be Madonna.
And I have other interests outside of those fields.

I'm enjoy house repairs, re-did my basement after a flood a few years back...next time hiring someone!

I love anything to do with technology, especially Tv and audio....still want a 40" Sony Bravia LCD.

I think what it is, people don't know how to read me.

Asking me if I'm gay is like asking the Pope if he's catholic. :wink:
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Postby Laiku » Sat Jan 12, 2008 6:52 am

I actually never worked at "acting" straight.
I think, I'm just to practical to be "gay", but on the other sight, I'm german and it looks as if there are a lot of differences to the gay stereotype because of that. And I also grew up in a very small village (not even fifty houses) and later moved to a village with not even ten houses, so I guess there weren't much rolemodels near my area and I neither me nor my family ever had the money to dress and stile according to the current fashion.

Mostly I aggree, that as look as you act, you're not yourself. The german word for straight acting is "Heteroverhalten" which would be appropriately translated as "straight behavior". I once read an article concerning straight actiong but never heard that word before. In my life now, if someone didn't act stereotypical, he or she just didn't do it and that was that.
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Postby rte99 » Thu Mar 20, 2008 1:07 am

aprilliac wrote:However, when I've had a few drinks, I start acting pretty fabulous.


Every once in a while, after I've had one too many, I tend to act a bit swish myself. When I was a new gay, I tried for a short while to be "gay-acting," because that's what I thought we were supposed to do. It's so much less demanding to just be myself.
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Postby Laiku » Sat Apr 12, 2008 5:02 am

Hm...
I just start laughing about everything when I'm drunk...
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Postby Marko » Wed Apr 16, 2008 9:22 am

edu999 wrote:If you have to work at it, then all that means is that it's not your true, innate way of being. That which comes naturally doesn't require any work at all.
So... macho, butch, quiet, femme, flaming... whatever... if it involves "work", then it ain't you.


If only that were true .. that's what straight 'acting' is all about: 'acting' is being something you're not like on a stage or in a movie ...
I'm generally OK with it at work because none of the guys are particularly attractive..but at the moment we have the external auditors in and there's one youngish guy who is just amazing and I can't help but keep walking past his (temporary) office to take a look, or rush to the stairs when I know he's coming up so we can cross and exchange a 'hi' , or accidentally 'meet' at the xerox machine... .and he kills me with that smile..
So yes I'm working very hard at the moment!
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Re: How Hard do You Work at being Str8acting?

Postby RedKen99 » Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:12 pm

rovie wrote:Just wondering.

Like I consciously drop my voice a little when with blokes and call them 'mate' all the time.... and uncross my legs when I think of it but I think straight guys do that too.

Do you consciously modify your behaviour to appear straight or 'str8acting' - how far do you go? Is it to impress others or to feel good about yourself?


I don't. I used to and it tortured me. Now I just act as myself. To be truthful I'm very masculine, so I don't need to act.Image
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Postby Laiku » Fri Apr 18, 2008 9:33 am

Marko wrote:If only that were true .. that's what straight 'acting' is all about: 'acting' is being something you're not like on a stage or in a movie ...
I'm generally OK with it at work because none of the guys are particularly attractive..but at the moment we have the external auditors in and there's one youngish guy who is just amazing and I can't help but keep walking past his (temporary) office to take a look, or rush to the stairs when I know he's coming up so we can cross and exchange a 'hi' , or accidentally 'meet' at the xerox machine... .and he kills me with that smile..
So yes I'm working very hard at the moment!


So? Sounds like you're trying not to show that you're attracted to him. What ahs that to do with straight acting?
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Postby Marko » Mon Apr 28, 2008 6:14 am

Laiku wrote:
Marko wrote:If only that were true .. that's what straight 'acting' is all about: 'acting' is being something you're not like on a stage or in a movie ...
I'm generally OK with it at work because none of the guys are particularly attractive..but at the moment we have the external auditors in and there's one youngish guy who is just amazing and I can't help but keep walking past his (temporary) office to take a look, or rush to the stairs when I know he's coming up so we can cross and exchange a 'hi' , or accidentally 'meet' at the xerox machine... .and he kills me with that smile..
So yes I'm working very hard at the moment!


So? Sounds like you're trying not to show that you're attracted to him. What ahs that to do with straight acting?


Well I'm "acting straight" because if I wanted to be out and out then I'd probably have gone a bit further and asked if he'd join me for a coffee or something or at least tried to start a conversation..whereas as it was I'm just exchanging 'hellos' in a sort of manly way .. I'm sure that doesn't make sense but I know what i mean ... anyway he's gone now and who knows when I will see him again :(
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Postby paguy17551 » Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:48 pm

There's a manly way to say hi now?

I usually just say "hi."
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Re: How Hard do You Work at being Str8acting?

Postby zack_dc » Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:15 pm

rovie wrote:Just wondering.

Like I consciously drop my voice a little when with blokes and call them 'mate' all the time.... and uncross my legs when I think of it but I think straight guys do that too.

Do you consciously modify your behaviour to appear straight or 'str8acting' - how far do you go? Is it to impress others or to feel good about yourself?


I think it depends on a person age and location. I am in late 30s so you can guess that I have spent a great portion of my life living two lives. It has become an innate behavior. There are times when I want to flirt of a nice looking man but I know it is a no-no in an open room. Meanwhile, my counterpart can flirt easily. She takes it for granted.

Going back to your assertion -- how hard do with work at being straight acting? Very, and a lot. So much so that it is ingrained in some of us who work in alpha homophobic environment. I wish that isn't true. The gay world has come a long way but there still so much more to go.
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Postby Tireman » Tue Apr 29, 2008 12:58 pm

Apparently nobody can tell I'm gay so far so its not really a problem. I catch myself sometimes though; sometimes when I'm sitting a certain way my wrist goes limp in that gay way(I get really embarressed by it), and I'm still not totally sure what my real voice sounds like because I change it so much.
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Postby Phoenix6570 » Tue Apr 29, 2008 9:12 pm

I never try to act straight. I'm myself when iIgo out and interact, and I see no reason to try to act any differently. I don't feel like I have anything that makes me seem gay but I've heard from one person my voice gives me away. Either way I go about my business not even worrying about how other people view me.
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Postby halfshot4 » Mon May 12, 2008 12:40 pm

I'm on a similar page with many of you guys.

I behave what I feel like is myself, which is actually a mix of traditionally western "feminine" and "masculine" traits—I don't agree with some of those boundaries and neither do many of my straight male friends. This is probably why I "blend" in with them so easily and almost no one suspected that I was gay until I came out to them. I didn't feel like that I was hiding anything except my love life, and my behavior didn't change around them since revealing. It's my own personal identity, which naturally "evolved" over time.

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Postby furface » Mon May 12, 2008 12:50 pm

That, Alex, is the point of the whole exercise: be the man you are and be comfortable with that man.

Y'all be good to yourself, now. Ya hear!
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Postby J » Tue May 20, 2008 5:22 pm

I don't think I come across as gay to most people unless they really know me, but they have to get past the "wall" first, and I seldom let anyone do that.

Some things about me that might be considered "feminine":
*I have started lying about my age (even on a "legal" basis thanks to a falsified birth certificate. My date of birth is either 9/26/78 or 9/26/74 now, but unfortunately the damn state of Massachusetts (at least my home county) does 5-year census updates, and apparently I show up in the one taken in March of 1975, being 6 months old. And unlike the federal census, they're much more lenient about giving that information out.
*I have Botox injections about every 4 months so that I can keep up the lie.
*I have a full head of nearly all gray hair, which I dye usually on a weekly basis. I used to use dark brown, but have recently switched to black. Again, to keep up the lie, but really, because I don't want to get old.
*I have had 9 laser treatments to remove facial hair so far (I have 3 more in the next 3 months) with so-so results. I've never wanted a beard or any of that, and know I never will. I think it would make me look old, and it feels gross (having stubble or any of that). The last 3 "zaps" are going to be painful, so I have to get my hands on some topical anaesthetic skin crean cause I'm a wuss to pain. I had one last night and it hurt. Did you know that burned hair follicles smell like burned popcorn?
*A week from tomorrow I'm FINALLY going under the knife. No more loose skin (or "man boobs")!
*I have a low self image and am a little more obvious about it than most guys.

I'm sure there's more...
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Postby J » Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:31 pm

FYI, for those interested (I know you are), I'm on day #4 of my recovery from "the knife" (aka, the abdominoplasty and liposuction that I've been meaning to have done for 5 years). I'm getting around a little better, but walk very stooped over and in more pain than I anticipated. Another week or so I should be walking somewhat ok hopefully.
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Postby Earl Butz » Mon Jun 02, 2008 5:49 am

Here's wishing you a speedy recovery, Jeff. :wink:

If I had nothing but time and money on my hands, I think I'd get my face lasered. I only shave every 3 days, but even then it's a pain in the ass! :evil:
A hard man is good to find!
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Postby Negate » Tue Jun 03, 2008 12:59 am

paguy17551 wrote:There's a manly way to say hi now?

I usually just say "hi."


I normally like to say *hey bud* lol
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Postby Lesley R. Charles » Wed Jun 04, 2008 8:30 am

Jeff,

I too, wish you a speedy recovery. The one thing in my life which I have finally accepted is my age. Of course, it does feel great when I say my age to have somebody say you don't look it. I used to dread getting older, but now I know that it is something that you can't change. Even though, when I was 23 and had my first gray hairs, my mother freaked when I told the person cutting my hair to break out the dye bottle if there were more than 10.
Come check me out on MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/lesleycharles
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