How Hard do You Work at being Str8acting?

Discussion on what it means to be straight acting, whether it's good, bad or indifferent.

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How Hard do You Work at being Str8acting?

Postby rovie » Wed Jan 03, 2007 7:08 am

Just wondering.

Like I consciously drop my voice a little when with blokes and call them 'mate' all the time.... and uncross my legs when I think of it but I think straight guys do that too.

Do you consciously modify your behaviour to appear straight or 'str8acting' - how far do you go? Is it to impress others or to feel good about yourself?
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Re: How Hard do You Work at being Str8acting?

Postby masculinity » Wed Jan 03, 2007 8:26 am

rovie wrote:Just wondering.

Like I consciously drop my voice a little when with blokes and call them 'mate' all the time.... and uncross my legs when I think of it but I think straight guys do that too.

Do you consciously modify your behaviour to appear straight or 'str8acting' - how far do you go? Is it to impress others or to feel good about yourself?

I think that there is much greater fear of femininity or what is assumed to be 'feminine behaviour' amongst straight men in the west.

In India, it is not uncommon for guys to sit with cross legs. It does not look feminine at all. People do it when they feel cold or uncomfortable or something. If a feminine man were to sit wide legged he will still look feminine.

It is rather intriguing that the western world is over obssessed about appearing non-feminine when it is the one that has sought to make men and women 'equal'.

Gays in India often relate some traits with 'liking men' and hold them to be feminine. E.g. this guy told me that it is a typically gay trait for a male to hide his age. The insinuation was that they are like women. However, I have found 'straight' men trying to appear younger than they are all the time. Even when they don't admit it, or they do it indirectly.
Last edited by masculinity on Wed Jan 03, 2007 8:34 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: How Hard do You Work at being Str8acting?

Postby masculinity » Wed Jan 03, 2007 8:30 am

rovie wrote:Just wondering.

Like I consciously drop my voice a little when with blokes and call them 'mate' all the time.... and uncross my legs when I think of it but I think straight guys do that too.

Do you consciously modify your behaviour to appear straight or 'str8acting' - how far do you go? Is it to impress others or to feel good about yourself?

I think even in the west, if you've proved your heterosexuality (and that means no sexual thing for men at all), then you really don't have to worry about other things. Then you can relax and be who you are, even if it means doing feminine things. Because no one is going to threaten your manhood. Actually your femininity then becomes 'cute'.

But if you have not proved your heterosexuality or if you are open about your sexual need for men or if you have accepted the gay label (even when you're masculine), then actually no matter how masculine or macho you try to appear, your manhood will always be suspect. In addition you will be kept on your toes not to let any thing that is considered unmanly or feminine to be visible on you. Because they will take the slightest thing ('they' include the gays) and will hold as 'proof' of your femininity against you. This is because liking men is thought to be inherently linked to being feminine, and the masculine behaviour is assumed to be a put on.
Last edited by masculinity on Wed Jan 03, 2007 8:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Know what you mean...

Postby alteregoron » Wed Jan 03, 2007 8:35 am

Yes, I admit I work at it. I especially have to remind myself to uncross my legs. Sometimes (and this IS embarrassing) I catch myself singing a showtune...whoa! Sometimes I have to resist the urge to buy candles! But I've been candle free for two years now. One day at a time.

Seriously, straightacting is a role I try to believably play cause I like seeing myself all jockified. But God, it's nothing to the role that women have to play--consciously fem-ing themselves up. The lucky guys (and the often the most attractive guys) are the ones who are so absorbed in what they do that they don't worry about how they look doing it.
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Postby RedRage00 » Wed Jan 03, 2007 9:24 am

Who cares? Just be yourself.

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Postby furface » Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:13 am

I'm with JoeBob on this one. Don't work at being someone y'all ain't; be yourself and don't worry 'bout how other perceive you. If y'all are comfortable in your own skin the rest is fairly easy.
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Postby Cajun » Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:22 am

RedRage00 wrote:Who cares? Just be yourself.

RR


EXCEPT for the pink socks........ :wink:
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Postby ulfurinn » Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:42 am

This just made me realize how simple my life is ;)
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Postby RedRage00 » Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:55 am

Cajun wrote:
RedRage00 wrote:Who cares? Just be yourself.

RR


EXCEPT for the pink socks........ :wink:


:lol: :shock:
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Postby edu999 » Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:58 am

RedRage00 wrote:Who cares? Just be yourself.

RR


word
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Postby Creature » Wed Jan 03, 2007 2:50 pm

I can't remember the famous author, but they compared masculinity (the trait, not the forum member) to an erection; impossible to sustain at all hours of the day.

Men of all different persuations posture around each other. I guess it harkens back to kepping yourself protected.
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Postby JakeMIke » Wed Jan 03, 2007 4:01 pm

I am sometimes conscious of whether or not I or other men are straight-acting or not, but the thoughts kind of drift away after a few seconds. I just act like myself.

I tend to be unconsciously affected by the behavior of people I am around, so being around macho guys, whether straight or gay, makes me act more so, I think. It's interesting, but I don't analyze it too deeply.
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Postby godless » Wed Jan 03, 2007 8:13 pm

I'm the real deal, player. Just a regular joe that likes to be with the guys in every way possible. There's no image issues here, thank Buhdda. I'm with the others where it comes to "acting" straight. Jes be yourself. If you watch the straight guys carefully you'll no doubt perceive that many of them have certain unconscious feminine habits and traits that pop up now and then. No doubt it's due to the influence of their mothers. It could be a phrase or a gesture that they use or make. Perhaps they're immaculate in their cleanliness or obssessed with their wardrobe. I think there's a little fem in almost all men.
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Postby masculinity » Thu Jan 04, 2007 12:46 am

Creature wrote:I can't remember the famous author, but they compared masculinity (the trait, not the forum member) to an erection; impossible to sustain at all hours of the day.

Men of all different persuations posture around each other. I guess it harkens back to kepping yourself protected.

Perhapps, you are right.

Perhaps, for most of the time we are just genderless, especially when we are all by ourselves. We become masculine or feminine when we are relating with others ----- but that too, often we are just genderless.

Thus it is not only masculinity that is difficult to sustain 24 hours a day, but also femininity. I hope you agree.

This is not to say that gender is not an important and basic human identity. When we relate with others, in certain important ways our masculine or feminine gender becomes important.
Gays are a different species altogether from men (and women). They're not "men who like men," they are "third gender who like men."

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Postby masculinity » Thu Jan 04, 2007 12:53 am

godless wrote:I'm the real deal, player. Just a regular joe that likes to be with the guys in every way possible. There's no image issues here, thank Buhdda. I'm with the others where it comes to "acting" straight. Jes be yourself. If you watch the straight guys carefully you'll no doubt perceive that many of them have certain unconscious feminine habits and traits that pop up now and then. No doubt it's due to the influence of their mothers. It could be a phrase or a gesture that they use or make. Perhaps they're immaculate in their cleanliness or obssessed with their wardrobe. I think there's a little fem in almost all men.

I agree with your last statement that there is a little fem in every man. But if you think that, there is no need to attribute it to their mothers or something. It's just who they are.

And believe me no one puts on more masks and 'acting' than straight men. The biggest mask that straight men put is of course of heterosexuality and 'repulsion for male-eroticism. Like I said, once you put that mask on, you can then relax a lot about other things.
Gays are a different species altogether from men (and women). They're not "men who like men," they are "third gender who like men."

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Postby Screamer » Thu Jan 04, 2007 1:28 pm

I mind my manners a little more when I'm in a female environment, like my last job. But that's like when I visit my grandmother, I don't use a lot of new jargon that she wouldn't know, or I stopped talking like the drill sergeant when I went home after basic. You wouldn't tell a joke if your audience would never get it.
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Postby godless » Thu Jan 04, 2007 8:23 pm

masculinity wrote:
godless wrote:I'm the real deal, player. Just a regular joe that likes to be with the guys in every way possible. There's no image issues here, thank Buhdda. I'm with the others where it comes to "acting" straight. Jes be yourself. If you watch the straight guys carefully you'll no doubt perceive that many of them have certain unconscious feminine habits and traits that pop up now and then. No doubt it's due to the influence of their mothers. It could be a phrase or a gesture that they use or make. Perhaps they're immaculate in their cleanliness or obssessed with their wardrobe. I think there's a little fem in almost all men.

I agree with your last statement that there is a little fem in every man. But if you think that, there is no need to attribute it to their mothers or something. It's just who they are.

And believe me no one puts on more masks and 'acting' than straight men. The biggest mask that straight men put is of course of heterosexuality and 'repulsion for male-eroticism. Like I said, once you put that mask on, you can then relax a lot about other things.


Masculine,
Are you trying to deny the huge impact our mother and father have on such primal qualities as masculinity and femininity. I think that our very concepts of what those words really mean are inexorably colored by our parents' behaviors and qualities. In short, who we are, especially in terms of our identity, is deeply influenced by who our parents are.

Now about the "mask of acting straight" stuff...isn't the repulsion towards male-eroticism and the die-hard hetero stance really just a gesture of politeness where men are concerned? Don't you think that the posture is meant to imply to the other male that he can relax and be himself without fear of an embarassing attempt to bed him arising from the potential intimacy? Isn't really the same tack that some men take with women, at least at first. I think it's all about men assuring each other that they can be trusted to not put one another in the awkward position of having to say yes or no to a sexual proposition.

As with the woman, this posture in no way implies that a sexual union is truly impossible, it merely affirms that boundaries will be respected. It has long been my opinion that most men are willing to at least experiment with the "dark side" of their sexuality with the "right" guy and if the circumstances are there to make them feel comfortable enough to go with it. There are a number of Log Cabin Republicans that claim they only sleep with straights.
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Postby masculinity » Sun Jan 07, 2007 2:34 am

godless wrote:Are you trying to deny the huge impact our mother and father have on such primal qualities as masculinity and femininity. I think that our very concepts of what those words really mean are inexorably colored by our parents' behaviors and qualities. In short, who we are, especially in terms of our identity, is deeply influenced by who our parents are.

I think you are making the mistake of treating Gender (i.e. masculinity and femininity) as being equal to social roles of gender (of what is expected of males and females in our society). We have discussed this issue in great detail.

The west considers Gender to be purely social. I.e. you can become masculine or femininine just by doing something or not doing something. The masculinity and femininity is supposed to be vested in the acts or objects outside of us. Thus to smoke is considered to be inherently masculine. Or to have sexual desire for women. Likewise, a flair for arts is considered in itself feminine, and so is a sexual desire for men.

This view of Gender considers it to be a choice, and this choice can of course be affected by one's environment, inluding mothers.

In reality, gender is not outiside of us. Gender is, like you said our primal quality. It is inside us. Biological gender doesn't change. It is not dependant upon what social roles you take up. It can be influenced socially, but only by way of destroying it.

This gender is given to us naturally/ biologically. Environment, including parenting plays only a limited role. The role of parenting however is significant in the case of choice of social roles that the person will adopt. But even there natural gender will continue to play a significant role.

Thus a masculine gendered person may, because of social influence be conditioned to suppress his same sex desires and adopt a heterosexual role, as an expression of his social gender. However, he is masculine not because he is heterosexual, but because he has inherent masculine gender. The heterosexuality may as well be a farce.

In order not to disrupt the discussion of this thread, I'm answering the 'sexuality' part of your point in the following thread/ page:

http://straightacting.net/phpbb/viewtopic.php?p=151319#151319
Gays are a different species altogether from men (and women). They're not "men who like men," they are "third gender who like men."

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Postby blu » Sun Jan 07, 2007 7:30 am

masculinity wrote:
godless wrote:Are you trying to deny the huge impact our mother and father have on such primal qualities as masculinity and femininity. I think that our very concepts of what those words really mean are inexorably colored by our parents' behaviors and qualities. In short, who we are, especially in terms of our identity, is deeply influenced by who our parents are.

I think you are making the mistake of treating Gender (i.e. masculinity and femininity) as being equal to social roles of gender (of what is expected of males and females in our society). We have discussed this issue in great detail.

The west considers Gender to be purely social. I.e. you can become masculine or femininine just by doing something or not doing something. The masculinity and femininity is supposed to be vested in the acts or objects outside of us. Thus to smoke is considered to be inherently masculine. Or to have sexual desire for women. Likewise, a flair for arts is considered in itself feminine, and so is a sexual desire for men.

This view of Gender considers it to be a choice, and this choice can of course be affected by one's environment, inluding mothers.

In reality, gender is not outiside of us. Gender is, like you said our primal quality. It is inside us. Biological gender doesn't change. It is not dependant upon what social roles you take up. It can be influenced socially, but only by way of destroying it.

This gender is given to us naturally/ biologically. Environment, including parenting plays only a limited role. The role of parenting however is significant in the case of choice of social roles that the person will adopt. But even there natural gender will continue to play a significant role.

Thus a masculine gendered person may, because of social influence be conditioned to suppress his same sex desires and adopt a heterosexual role, as an expression of his social gender. However, he is masculine not because he is heterosexual, but because he has inherent masculine gender. The heterosexuality may as well be a farce.

In order not to disrupt the discussion of this thread, I'm answering the 'sexuality' part of your point in the following thread/ page:

http://straightacting.net/phpbb/viewtopic.php?p=151319#151319


:roll: blah, blah, nobody cares. Stay on the topic.
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Postby masculinity » Sun Jan 07, 2007 8:52 am

blu wrote: :roll: blah, blah, nobody cares. Stay on the topic.

When men talk, ladies should keep quiet. Nothing for the ladies to understand here.
Gays are a different species altogether from men (and women). They're not "men who like men," they are "third gender who like men."

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Postby blu » Sun Jan 07, 2007 9:30 am

masculinity wrote:
blu wrote: :roll: blah, blah, nobody cares. Stay on the topic.

When men talk, ladies should keep quiet. Nothing for the ladies to understand here.


LMAO!!! I couldnt help but laugh. :lol: :lol: Further proof of your mysogynistic society, and atitude.

You and blackmanxxx would make a cute couple though.
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Postby ElChico124 » Sun Jan 07, 2007 10:22 am

Being in the military, I do conduct myself differently at work than among friends. This is strictly because at work, I have things to accomplish and must take my work seriously...not alot of room for comic relief. whereas among friends I let my hair down and have a good time. Not to say I put up a facade, I just wear my "workface". Among friends, I am queen of the faggots.
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Postby blackmet » Mon Jan 08, 2007 12:26 am

Meh. I don't bother, at least not consciously.

I've decide that I care what my friends think, what my future-potential-lover-thinks, what a couple of members of my family think, and (to a VERY small extent) what a few of my coworkers think of me.

The rest of the world? Screw em.
We can sit for a while and talk about
The things that bring you down
Like heaven and martini's
And boys that hang around
If if told you my biggest secret
Would you promise me you'd stay?
It isn't what you're thinking
It's simple in a way
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Postby GX » Mon Jan 08, 2007 12:50 am

If you ain't got no balls...people are going to know. Just look at Richard Simmons...he's always trying to claim he's not a fag but there's no way he can keep all that swishyness in the closet.
:lol:
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Postby Screamer » Mon Jan 08, 2007 10:37 pm

To be fair, I don't think Richard has really been trying to go straight. He seems pretty "uninhibited"
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