Were you born gay?

Discussion on what it means to be straight acting, whether it's good, bad or indifferent.

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What is the leading cause of your homosexuality?

Born that way
107
73%
Majority born that way, somewhat environmental
26
18%
Majority environmental, somewhat born that way
8
5%
Environmental
6
4%
 
Total votes : 147

Were you born gay?

Postby aus_dude » Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:05 am

I havnt found a poll on this.. anyway, i would like to find the majority reasons gays cite for well.. being gay.

Me myself, i think i was born with it.. but im not sure.

note that "environmental" includes things such as free choice as well as other environmental factors.
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Postby Screamer » Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:36 pm

I’m not sure how anyone can be born with an orientation before the development actually occurs. I find it more plausible that some are born with characteristics that make them likely to develop homosexual orientation, but that’s not the same thing.

Everyone’s different, and there isn’t one universal pattern to it… but I’ll give an example of how I think it could happen: someone who may be a little like me (if you catch my meaning)…

James was a timid, sensitive child. He grew up on a farm, where he didn’t see boys his own age, but he did have an older brother with the ability and inclination to be a pushy older brother, as well as a father and grandfather. So he was always the lowest among males. At school, he connected little with his peers, becoming more and more introverted. This pattern wouldn’t be easy to break – it was a small school and the same children surrounded him every year; they didn’t care any more for him one year than they had the previous. He was the brightest kid in the class, which meant that he never had to be told that the other boys looked down on him, even when it wasn’t overt or impolite.

Boys eventually become interested in sex; by the time they do, most of them are more or less on good terms with their own sex. Picture a teenage dance, where the boys cluster together as they prop themselves up before chatting up whatever girls they like. James never experienced that kind of peer support. He also was never talked to realistically about sex, at home or anywhere else. James didn’t know what girls wanted, but if they wanted boys, he didn't believe it could be him. He was still the lowest of the low.

So at a certain age, James experiences the interest in sex, and also the pre-sexual need for acceptance by the male group. And in some part of his brain, he thinks: wouldn’t it be more economical to fuse these needs into one? Instead of tackling two daunting problems, wouldn’t it be simpler to find an “unconventional” male who wouldn’t look down on him and also satisfy the sexual need? James saw some nude figures and started to study them. These, he reasoned, could be the same males who made him a laughingstock, but here they were stripped of their armor. James liked that idea very much.
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Postby Donovan » Tue Nov 14, 2006 8:15 pm

For me it was 100% environmental. I was completely not gay before I came to the US when I was 18 years old. I dated a few girls in middle and hgh school, and the idea of dating a guy actually kind of disgusted me before I turned 18.

I turned gay within a year after I came to the US. How did I turn gay so quickly? I am not sure. Sometimes I wonder if someone casted a spell on me or something.... :roll:
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Postby Davy » Tue Nov 14, 2006 9:24 pm

I can't vote in this poll. "None of the above" is not an option.
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Postby Frizzurd » Wed Nov 15, 2006 4:34 am

I have been this way as far back as i can remember. I remember wanting to hug my freinds when i slept over at theyre house and thinking that Atreyu kid in "The Never Ending Story" was attractive. It was all kept in my subconcious untill early high school when i could finally come to terms with my feelings and unlearn societys pressure and upbringing.
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Postby Earl Butz » Wed Nov 15, 2006 6:06 am

Didn't figure it out until I was 13, but I imagine the wheels were set in motion a long time before that age. It's definitely not environmental. But they'll still be debating that 500 years from now....
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Postby rovie » Wed Nov 15, 2006 6:23 am

Screamer
I’m not sure how anyone can be born with an orientation before the development actually occurs.


If you have the blueprint to be gay like me you don't have any other choice. I'd prefer to be straight but that's not the way I was wired. I'm just making the most of what I've got.
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Postby michaelk69 » Wed Nov 15, 2006 6:32 am

don't know about "born" gay, but certainly was gay / knew I was gay for as long back as I can remember . . . you know, 10, 11, 12 . .. that sort of thing . . . i always wanted to kiss / hold hands with the boys, not the girls, even before i understood why or what that meant . . .
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Postby Frizzurd » Wed Nov 15, 2006 1:41 pm

i have been masturbating since i was like 5. Learned it on my own too but would rub against the floor while laying down. I just wonder if that could of affected me somehow.
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Postby Ben » Wed Nov 15, 2006 3:12 pm

I was born straight.
Didn't cast my vote since none of the alternatives apply. :)
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Postby mike724 » Wed Nov 15, 2006 6:27 pm

I'm asked this question all the time, especially from my straight friends/co-workers. I think that a "true" gay person is born that way. There are, however, people that have or would like to experiment with the same sex just out of pure curiosity, but I don't think that makes them gay (I guess they're just bored). I think that being gay is more than just a sexual thing and it involves really connecting to someone of the same gender both sexually and mentally....but that's just my opinion. :lol:
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Postby rovie » Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:26 am

If I didn't make it clear before, I was born gay and have remained gay. I'm not really happy about it but that's way it is.
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Postby GX » Thu Nov 16, 2006 12:55 pm

I think it's equal parts or more environmental. I can't think of anyone that was born a fruitcake...they just kind of evolved into it. The coding may be in your genes but I think certain things must occur for it to be triggered.
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Postby RedRage00 » Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:22 pm

I think you're born this way.

I mean as soon as I hit puberty in 6th grade I started finding myself wanting guys. All the str8 guys were going after the girls and I was longing for one of the str8 guys lol

What other explanation is there?

I was raised by my single mother, but my brother is str8 so that can't be the reason.
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Postby Frizzurd » Thu Nov 16, 2006 7:39 pm

I sure didnt choose to be this way. I take great offense to anyone that would implie otherwise with all the hell i go through being myself.
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Postby Screamer » Thu Nov 16, 2006 11:12 pm

I don't see what "choice" has to do with it; that's not even part of the poll. Or is that supposed to be the dichotomy: that unless you were born that way, you made a perverse decision to go another way? I wish we didn't have to inherit ideas like that... but that's just a wish.

I was a baby when I was born and remember nothing about it. But if one is born with an orientation, how far does that extend? Is one born to be a top, or a bottom? Can a person be born with a preference for an older mate? a younger one? of a different race? of the same race?

I suspect that as a species we are born "bi-curious" which is why sexuality can take so many forms. One problem with environmental models is that they were vulgarized into sub-Freudian melodrama, in which a handful of giveaway clues were sought for in every instance of unconventional sexuality (like blaming Mother, for instance). But just because some of those efforts were ridiculous doesn't mean that what's true has to differ by 180 degrees.

(Big questions like these can get pretty windy, but really I try not to dictate my conclusions too much. Everyone's different - we don't all want to be touched in the same places.)
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Postby yes_I_am_so_what » Thu Nov 16, 2006 11:23 pm

For me, the orientation is strictly "born that way." The only part that was environmental was the perceived need to hide in a closet. The only part that was choice was to get out of that closet.
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Postby qwertz » Fri Nov 17, 2006 6:38 pm

Question is totally irrelevant.
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Postby aus_dude » Fri Nov 17, 2006 11:54 pm

qwertz wrote:Question is totally irrelevant.


not to a fundementalist christian who hates homosexuals simply because they are homosexual... they might discover that its really not a choice, and thus hating someone for the way they were born is.. backwards.
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Postby Davy » Sat Nov 18, 2006 7:45 am

It is irrelevant because it shouldn't matter. I like men because I like men. End of story. I owe no one any explanation.

Here's how I see it: Gay-supportive and Gay-friendly people don't need to be convinced as to why gay people are gay. They don't care one way or another. The religious reich can't be convinced that God didn't wave his hand one day and seven days later the earth appeared exactly as we know it today, so what's the use in trying to convince them that being gay is anything other than an "abominable sin". It took 500 years for the Catholic church to formally forgive Galileo for suggesting that the earth is not the center of the universe. It will take another 500 years to convince them that being gay is no more "sinful" than eating shrimp. No amount of science is going to sway them.
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Postby qwertz » Sat Nov 18, 2006 11:46 am

Davy wrote:It is irrelevant because it shouldn't matter. I like men because I like men. End of story. I owe no one any explanation.

Here's how I see it: Gay-supportive and Gay-friendly people don't need to be convinced as to why gay people are gay. They don't care one way or another. The religious reich can't be convinced that God didn't wave his hand one day and seven days later the earth appeared exactly as we know it today, so what's the use in trying to convince them that being gay is anything other than an "abominable sin". It took 500 years for the Catholic church to formally forgive Galileo for suggesting that the earth is not the center of the universe. It will take another 500 years to convince them that being gay is no more "sinful" than eating shrimp. No amount of science is going to sway them.



It will probably take another 500 years before religion asks forgiveness for its criminal behaviour against men into male-on-male sex and finally presents its apologies.
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Postby Frizzurd » Sun Nov 19, 2006 1:00 am

Eating shrimp was revoked with the new testament. That asshole Paul kept the gays are going to hell thing going though so it is more sinful than eating shrimp or pork to christians. Hell, if i was going to be religious id want to keep every thing intact right down to beleiving the earth is flat and women are not equals. None of this picking and choosing bullshit, its like they can accept liberal ideas over time but not ones that are presented before them. One thing that pisses me off is how christians will get upset if they are called biggots for theyre beleifs. As if because its a religion it somehow excludes them from that label.
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Postby devilnuts » Sun Nov 19, 2006 4:34 am

I wasn't born gay...Madonna made me gay. LMAO.

Okay, maybe she didn't. Yes, I was born gay. From my earliest memories, I can remember something not being right because I didn't fit into the gender roles that existed all around. Of course, it wasn't until many years later that I figured out why and what that meant to me personally.
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Postby Jay » Sun Nov 19, 2006 5:29 am

Davy wrote:It is irrelevant because it shouldn't matter. I like men because I like men. End of story. I owe no one any explanation.

Here's how I see it: Gay-supportive and Gay-friendly people don't need to be convinced as to why gay people are gay. They don't care one way or another. The religious reich can't be convinced that God didn't wave his hand one day and seven days later the earth appeared exactly as we know it today, so what's the use in trying to convince them that being gay is anything other than an "abominable sin". It took 500 years for the Catholic church to formally forgive Galileo for suggesting that the earth is not the center of the universe. It will take another 500 years to convince them that being gay is no more "sinful" than eating shrimp. No amount of science is going to sway them.


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Postby rovie » Sun Nov 19, 2006 6:31 am

Were you born gay?


Yet, because it is important to some, yes I was born gay... and had my first insights into that when I was barely 4 years old. I very clearly remember.

However, I didn't have my first m 2 m experience until I was 24. It wasn't smooth sailing but it worked out in the long run.


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