Were you born gay?

Discussion on what it means to be straight acting, whether it's good, bad or indifferent.

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What is the leading cause of your homosexuality?

Born that way
107
73%
Majority born that way, somewhat environmental
26
18%
Majority environmental, somewhat born that way
8
5%
Environmental
6
4%
 
Total votes : 147

Postby Jay » Sun Nov 19, 2006 2:51 pm

The question is always belittling to gays.

In other words, people need to find out if this "sickness" is something you're born with or was it some "deviance" that you "chose."

To answer that you're born that way, is, in effect, saying "It's not my fault!" And that is a way of saying there's something wrong.

I like Davy's comments above. He owes nobody an explanation. He likes guys. Period.
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Postby Screamer » Sun Nov 19, 2006 4:56 pm

It is not irrelevant to me why I am as I am - the ways I am like other people and the ways I am different. I can't not ask myself questions like this. It's in my nature. If some people don't have that curiosity, they don't need to acquire it, but I suspect it's their loss. I'd rather know than not care.
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Postby Davy » Sun Nov 19, 2006 10:26 pm

Screamer wrote:It is not irrelevant to me why I am as I am - the ways I am like other people and the ways I am different. I can't not ask myself questions like this. It's in my nature. If some people don't have that curiosity, they don't need to acquire it, but I suspect it's their loss. I'd rather know than not care.


Let's suppose that science figures out why some people develop a preference for the same sex. If science can figure out the why and wherefore, it can also figure out how to prevent it. On one hand, you may very well have an argument that gay people should be allowed rights because of a condition that is innate and unchageable. On the other hand, you will also have a way to determine before birth whether a child is gay and a way to give the mother the option to have an abortion based on that discovery. Science is a double-edged sword. It cuts both ways.
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Postby Earl Butz » Mon Nov 20, 2006 5:59 am

Jay wrote:The question is always belittling to gays.

In other words, people need to find out if this "sickness" is something you're born with or was it some "deviance" that you "chose."

To answer that you're born that way, is, in effect, saying "It's not my fault!" And that is a way of saying there's something wrong.

I like Davy's comments above. He owes nobody an explanation. He likes guys. Period.


No, not really. It's a fascinating question. People have been pondering it for decades now. They've come close to proving it's all due to brain chemistry. But the brain is so hard to understand....they can't prove it 100%.

I tend to agree. I don't consider it an excuse to validate a sickness or that something is wrong somewhere. I think most people figure out it's not a choice quite quickly. You wake up one day and choose to be straight/gay? That's retarded. Even straights understand that.
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Postby rovie » Mon Nov 20, 2006 7:38 am

Jay
The question is always belittling to gays.
In other words, people need to find out if this "sickness" is something you're born with or was it some "deviance" that you "chose."

To answer that you're born that way, is, in effect, saying "It's not my fault!" And that is a way of saying there's something wrong.

I like Davy's comments above. He owes nobody an explanation. He likes guys. Period


Yeah Jay it's all very well to be heroic about it but for most of us we like to know how others in the same position feel. And so this question is posed
Were you born gay?


If society thinks that it is a choice of ours we should tell society that is wasn't a choice.... in case that makes a difference to their understanding.

Mind you - for some (bi guys for example) it can be a choice... and that's ok too.

We do owe people explanations if it's going to make it easier for people to understand us... especially those young guys who are just finding out that they are gay. Why should they suffer un-necessarily just out of principle?

I didn't ask to be born gay, nobody was asked to be born male or female.

No big deal but our straight brothers do need to be educated about us.
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Postby Davy » Mon Nov 20, 2006 12:21 pm

rovie wrote:We do owe people explanations if it's going to make it easier for people to understand us... especially those young guys who are just finding out that they are gay. Why should they suffer un-necessarily just out of principle?

I didn't ask to be born gay, nobody was asked to be born male or female.

No big deal but our straight brothers do need to be educated about us.


Those who care to understand us already do. Those who don't understand us don't care to and probably never will unless it hits them close to home (i.e. a family member or other loved one comes out).

Either way, making our case doesn't have to involve re-hashing the Scopes Monkey Trial. Even that wasn't a success because those who believe in creationism still hold to that belief. You could take a die-hard fundamentalist to the Grand Canyon and show them the various rock layers with all the different fossil types. You could even take a rock sample and carbon-date it to millions of years ago and show it to them and they will still insist that it all happened in six days about 7000 years ago. Science means nothing to religious fundamentalists.

A while back, I spoke with a fundamentalist co-worker who had an interesting spin on the gay issue-- one that would certainly be the religious rhetoric if science proves gays are born that way: He said that he was born with the natural tendency to steal but that doesn't make it right in the eyes of God.

So instead of wasting time examining hypothalamuses of dead gay people, why not spend that energy making the case that everyone is entitled to civil rights regardless of whether it is a choice or whether it is inborn.
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Postby Jay » Mon Nov 20, 2006 8:23 pm

Great comments all around here!

Re: science finding out who will be gay and then aborting, there's a play and I think it was a movie as well:

"The Twilight of the Golds."

I saw it on B'way maybe 7 years ago.
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Postby Frizzurd » Mon Nov 20, 2006 11:23 pm

Davy ther are other biggots than just the fundamentalist. I think the majority that hate us in "my" generation do so because they beleive all the lies about us. Also our representation made by pride events and media isnt helping.
I have to be honest that if i wasnt gay id probably think all gays are mentally ill pervs rather than just like anyone else.
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Postby devilnuts » Mon Nov 20, 2006 11:34 pm

LOL...you guys are getting so far out there on analyzing why the question was even asked. Quite frankly, why give two shits and a fart in a stiff breeze to what anyone out there thinks? I think that the need to know whether your were born gay or whether it was do to environmental causes is something that I want to know for me. Like I said, I am pretty sure that I was born gay. I really couldn't care if other people don't like me for it...that's their loss. And what people want to do at Pride events is their business. If you don't like it, then don't go. Seems to be a lot of animosity here towards Pride parades and anything rainbow.

Oh, and funny tangent...the other day, after the "Madonna made me gay" comment...I was driving to school and I pull up beside this work truck. You know the kind that have the tool boxes on both sides and a water jug strapped to the back...ladders and crap hanging over the tailgate type of work truck. So I pull up to this stoplight and I'm hearing one of Madonna's new songs just blaring. I look around for where it's coming from and realize that it's coming from the work truck...LOL. The guy inside was probably in his late 30's or early 40's and fairly rugged looking. I just thought it was a bit funny that stereotypes are just that...stereotypes. Okay, enough of that...

I just don't see why this has to be a matter of seeking approval from people that are never going to give it to you. Life's too short for that BS. The matter of why I'm gay has relevence to me and me alone. If someone else cares to inquire why, I will tell them, but I don't need their acceptance of it.
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Postby Screamer » Tue Nov 21, 2006 12:07 am

I might add that I'm not telling just anyone about my personal experiences. People who aren't going to understand at all or will deliberately misinterpret for their own purposes aren't getting any dirt on me. If I did owe anyone an explanation, I suppose I could give a very broad view, but that's about it. Not just anyone needs to know what makes me tick, but if I know a little about that, then it's my advantage, hopefully.
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Postby devilnuts » Tue Nov 21, 2006 12:12 am

...wonders what makes screamer lick...errr...I mean tick... :P :twisted: :lol:
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Postby Davy » Tue Nov 21, 2006 2:17 am

Frizzurd wrote:Davy ther are other biggots than just the fundamentalist. I think the majority that hate us in "my" generation do so because they beleive all the lies about us.

Yes, you're actually right. There are two kinds of bigots: the fiery fundamentalists who believe we are an abomination before the Lord and the macho redneck type who hate us because they believe we are sick, disgusting, child-molesting perverts who are better off dead where we stand. In both cases, no amount of science is going to change their position.

Frizzurd wrote:Also our representation made by pride events and media isnt helping.

True enough. But that's a whole other thread.
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Postby rovie » Tue Nov 21, 2006 6:16 am

Davy
So instead of wasting time examining hypothalamuses of dead gay people, why not spend that energy making the case that everyone is entitled to civil rights regardless of whether it is a choice or whether it is inborn.

There you go then. It's not as much fun but it certainly would be more efficient - and I'm all for that.
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Postby selective_soldier » Fri Nov 24, 2006 3:17 pm

I'm Open to scholarly research, But my personal observations yeild the same opinion, Born that way.. 8)
"Those who are most difficult to love, need the most love."

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Postby RedKen99 » Fri Dec 01, 2006 11:48 pm

selective_soldier wrote:I'm Open to scholarly research, But my personal observations yeild the same opinion, Born that way.. 8)


I agree with you. I was born this way. Even if I was gay from the environment, I would never want to try to be straight.
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Postby LilBit » Mon Dec 11, 2006 12:49 am

Frizzurd wrote:I have been this way as far back as i can remember. I remember wanting to hug my freinds when i slept over at theyre house and thinking that Atreyu kid in "The Never Ending Story" was attractive. It was all kept in my subconcious untill early high school when i could finally come to terms with my feelings and unlearn societys pressure and upbringing.

*squeal* I TOTALLY had a crush on him when I was a kid. Unfortunately, he's kinda sleazy-looking now.

As for the topic at hand, I came out of the womb in drag, and not much has changed since then. :lol:
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Postby solat » Mon Dec 11, 2006 2:15 am

Not sure if I was born with it, but came pretty close, so ticked the box.
The earliest 'gay' memory I can recall was watching an Aussie video "Skippy the Bush Kangaroo", and having dreams about camping out with some of shirtless cast (the human cast, not the kangaroo) and wanting to give them hugs.

After that, I moved on to shirtless firemen, surf patrollers in speedos, construction site workers, etc, rescuing me from tricky situations, and once again, me giving them appreciative hugs.
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I'm born gay

Postby laidbackguy » Mon Mar 12, 2007 4:56 am

Hi, I'm new here, from Malaysia. I'm a Chinese.

I'm born gay. period.

I remember when I was 4-5 years old. I would sleep with my parents in their bedroom. Sometimes, I watch them having sex. They seem to think that I was too young to remember what I see. They were so wrong...I remember every part of it. So you see, I had my sex education from as young as 4 years old; LIVE - with them having sex in front of me!

Anyway, I started to imitate them. I would insert a hollow clyndrical box into one end of my bolster. Then, I would ride the bolster like how my father would 'ride my mum' and insert my erected penis into the 'hole'.
Can you imagine, a 4 year-old learning how to have sex?

Even as young as 6 years old, I was fascinated by pictures of muscular guys in newspapers.
I like to draw pictures of muscular guys and those pictures excited me. It even came to the point where I would draw a muscular guy sodomising another guy. And again, somehow I felt so good looking at those drawings.

Soon, I figure out how to jerk off with my hands...I didn't start to enjoy it until when I was 13 - when I'm matured enough to ejaculate semen and experience orgasm. At that time, I always try to think of girls when I masturbate. Then, I try including guys in my fantasies. I discover that thinking of guys is more erotic than thinking of girls. From that point on, I always think of guys only when i masturbate.

At first, I was feeling so guilty because I wasn't acting normal. I force myself to think of girls when I masturbate, hoping that I would be straight.
It came to the point where I got depressed because of my homosexuality.
It was a hard time for me. What more being teased and taunted at school for being a sissy. Since then, I despised being a sissy because of all the bad memories I had in high school for being feminine.

I am 22 years old now, straight-acting and still a virgin...and hardly anybody knows I'm gay.
"Lonely...and nobody knows."
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Postby Jay » Mon Mar 12, 2007 3:45 pm

You won't be lonely or a virgin for too much longer, laidbackguy.

As more time passes, you will feel more and more comfortable being you.

It's a long journey and slow too but you do get there, to that place of peace and acceptance of yourself.

Good luck!
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:)

Postby laidbackguy » Wed Mar 14, 2007 12:22 pm

Thanx Jay. :)
"Lonely...and nobody knows."
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Postby HaloGrinder » Wed Mar 21, 2007 9:17 pm

I'd say I was born gay.

Anyone read that article in TIME about the gay rams?
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Postby matinee » Thu Mar 22, 2007 11:16 pm

Absolutely born gay. Never had any desire to date women,never got turned on by any part of the female body or mind. I remember being "intrigued" by men since I have memories.
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Postby Okamoto » Sat Aug 04, 2007 6:19 am

I don't remember all the details, but there have been studies on a particular part of the brain that is smaller in gay men than straight men. Also larger in lesbians than straight women. Thus, I believe I was born gay.

I also believe it's partially genetic since my mother and grandfather are gay.
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Postby HetHater » Wed Aug 08, 2007 5:40 pm

Okamoto wrote:I don't remember all the details, but there have been studies on a particular part of the brain that is smaller in gay men than straight men. Also larger in lesbians than straight women. Thus, I believe I was born gay.

I also believe it's partially genetic since my mother and grandfather are gay.


If you're referring to the studies by LeVay, they have been demolished, though the media has oh-so-conveniently failed to report it. Look around for a thread in which I give a list of books showing how much nonsense there is in the notion that one is "born" gay.
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Postby Okamoto » Wed Aug 08, 2007 11:17 pm

Oh, duh. I forgot that unit in middle school on how to be a poofter. Silly me. :P

It's funny that there are so many straight people unwilling to hear from the first-hand source that we are who we were born to be.
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