Dating Fem guys

Discussion on what it means to be straight acting, whether it's good, bad or indifferent.

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Dating Fem Guys

Yes?
11
14%
No?
54
69%
Maybe
13
17%
 
Total votes : 78

Dating Fem guys

Postby chico » Wed Jul 27, 2005 5:44 pm

Hello All

I met this new guy and we have started talkin. When I first started talking to him, he seemed fairly straight acting, but it seems the more comfortable he gets with me, the more his feminine side comes out. This is kind of a turn off because I'm attracted to masculine guys. However, although masculinity is preferred, he seems to have everything else going for him, so i'm willing to give it a try. How many of you guys are willing to date feminine guys? And if you have, what was the outcome?
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Postby Smitty » Wed Jul 27, 2005 6:38 pm

As long as you are willing to give it a try, that's all that matters.
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Postby dabonsteed » Wed Jul 27, 2005 8:02 pm

Depends entirely upon what you mean by "feminine"

Seeing as how every gay man I've ever met has had some fem characteristics (whether they realize it or not) I'm gonna have to go with "why not".


But do remember a decent number of residents on the board regards the following charicature as Feminine:

A loudly dressed man in women's tight, frilly clothes, hips swinging, lips smacking, limp wristed, lip gloss wearing, obnoxious, self-important, attention seeking, high-maitenance, shrill, whiny, selfish, egocentric, show-tune singing fashionista.

So you're not likely to get many "yes" answers with that sort of bias floating around.
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Postby blu » Thu Jul 28, 2005 6:28 am

I voted yes.
Im feminine and would date another feminine guy, why not? I've never really saw much diffrence between feminine and masculine, it seems like alot of men claim to be masculine but in actuality their just flamers in baggy clothes :?
Anyway, Im not closing myself off to anyone based upon who they are, as long as your mind is in the right place its fine. People miss out with those kind of atitudes.
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Postby blu » Thu Jul 28, 2005 6:29 am

I voted yes.
Im feminine and would date another feminine guy, why not? I've never really saw much diffrence between feminine and masculine, it seems like alot of men claim to be masculine but in actuality their just flamers in baggy clothes :?
Anyway, Im not closing myself off to anyone based upon who they are, as long as your mind is in the right place its fine. People miss out with those kind of atitudes.
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Postby foxeyes2 » Thu Jul 28, 2005 7:00 am

If he has everything else going for himself and he has some feminine qualities sure I would date him. His personality, his heart, his attitude is a hell of a lot more important than how masculine or feminine he may be.
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Postby qwertz » Sat Jul 30, 2005 5:59 am

I have a feeble for guys who do not fit the masculine stereotype. So, I have dated fem guys, but usually I go for malish men. I like it when malish men appear to have a feminine side.
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Postby Odeh » Sun Jul 31, 2005 4:54 pm

Met one guy thru an ad who turned out to be fem.with the stereotypical affected "gay accent"...but in everything else he seemed masculine...

Found him to be a delightful person and plan to go out with him again
as long the guy looks masculine and isn't "over-the-top" in fem behaviour I have no problem dating him if he at least LOOKS masculine....
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Postby Ben » Tue Aug 02, 2005 3:40 am

Weird, almost everyone who replied to this thread so far, have said they got no problems with dating fem men, yet only one has actually voted "yes"...
Is it due to the error that's been in the past few days?

Anyway. Like Jason says, there are various levels of fem, and also various perceptions of what fem is. Most, if not all people have some "female" traits to them.
So what is a female side? Is it softness, gentleness, being considerate, kindness, liking kids, having a good hand with kids, the will/abilty to nurse other people...etc? In short... is it all the softer, "good" traits if you will?

At least to me, it's not. Some, or all of those traits, I would expect in every civilized human being, gay or str8, with even a shred of social competence. That doesn't make them less masculine in my eyes.

Would I date a guy who displays the traits Jason describes? Definitely not, not matter how nice he is to me. It's simply a turn-off in all departments.
Last edited by Ben on Tue Sep 27, 2005 8:57 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Guest » Tue Aug 02, 2005 4:39 pm

Chico
I would give this a second thought. I learned the hard way that if I don't feel right about something, something is wrong. I would chill and findout what it really is. Some guys become less masculine, in our minds, because they are just wrong for us.

I'm so glad I don't have to deal with the dating sh*t anymore.
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Well can't say I didn't try...

Postby chico » Sat Aug 06, 2005 5:24 pm

Chico
I would give this a second thought. I learned the hard way that if I don't feel right about something, something is wrong. I would chill and findout what it really is. Some guys become less masculine, in our minds, because they are just wrong for us.


Yea I actually had to end it. I mean I thought as long as he's a caring guy it wouldn't matter. He had everything else going for him, good job, educated, cultured, sweet, caring, all the things I like, but even with all that, the attraction just wasn't there, partly because of his femininity. He was pretty stereotypically gay with gestures, shopping (only Diesal, D+G), the whole nine. Don't get me wrong I like to rock nice clothes, but my identity isn't based on it. I guess I was thinking I could overlook my lack of phycical and sexual attraction to him because the other things were so great, but my heart wasn't in it, and it would be wrong for me to lead him on and act like it was. So back to the drawing board....sigh.... :(
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Postby blu » Sat Aug 06, 2005 5:31 pm

To me a man is a man, the last masculine guy I was with couldnt even get over me having a bigger penis :twisted:
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Postby Guest » Sat Aug 06, 2005 11:22 pm

blu wrote:To me a man is a man, the last masculine guy I was with couldnt even get over me having a bigger penis :twisted:



And if he treated you like a jerk? I hope you rubbed it in his face. Literaly and I guess physicaly!
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Postby blu » Sun Aug 07, 2005 7:06 am

Far from Flaming wrote:
blu wrote:To me a man is a man, the last masculine guy I was with couldnt even get over me having a bigger penis :twisted:



And if he treated you like a jerk? I hope you rubbed it in his face. Literaly and I guess physicaly!

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Postby BrChsr » Mon Aug 15, 2005 9:36 am

I don't think I could do it because I'm a masculine acting guy, and I'm not open to everyone in the world, only to some family and friends. I think that even being seen in public with a feminine guy would make me "gay by association." I've been called a faggot by people driving by in thier cars when I was standing outside of a gay club, but it's a little different when you're at the mall. At a club, you've got the protection of your fellow gays. Out here in the real world, we really are on our own. MOST people are straight, SOME people are gay. The hard part is finding that some.
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Postby ditchdigger » Mon Aug 15, 2005 5:45 pm

I just voted yes on this one. Truth is, if you like 'em and enjoy other things about their personality and themselves, then why not? I've been out with a couple effeminate guys, but it wasn't their effemininity that bothered me - one was a major shoplifter so that was a red flag banner right there; and the other liked to spit on mailboxes and dogs as we drove along the road...and it only took one dog before I stopped the car and he got out :evil:

If their flamboyancy (sp?) bothers you, than it's your problem not theirs.
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Postby foxeyes2 » Tue Aug 16, 2005 7:16 am

ditchdigger wrote:I just voted yes on this one. Truth is, if you like 'em and enjoy other things about their personality and themselves, then why not? I've been out with a couple effeminate guys, but it wasn't their effemininity that bothered me - one was a major shoplifter so that was a red flag banner right there; and the other liked to spit on mailboxes and dogs as we drove along the road...and it only took one dog before I stopped the car and he got out :evil:

If their flamboyancy (sp?) bothers you, than it's your problem not theirs.


He spit on dogs? WTF is that about? Good on you for kicking his sorry ass to the curb.
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Dating fems

Postby TarRhu » Tue Sep 20, 2005 6:09 pm

Hi, I voted yes. I've dated more than one fem. One was part of a long relationship during which my parents, his parents and our work mates all knew of us as a couple. The two biggest problems for me were waiting two hours for him to get ready to go out (had to look like a movie star) and the initial shock of my parents. Another was so good looking I found myself becoming a pitbull keeping all the 'takers' at bay. We never quarreled, I just left, couldn't take it. A kind remark, some flowers and Godivas went a long way toward making them happy. They sort of wanted to be the beautiful housewife whose husband adores them, and I did as much as I could.
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Postby swift535 » Tue Sep 20, 2005 6:16 pm

depends, like others have said, on how feminine the guy is. if feminine to you means sensitive / concerned / romantic etc, then to me those are big pluses.

but if feminine is drag / drama queen / overly flamboyaunt, etc, while I don't have anything against them that doesn't mean I'd be attracted to them - some people like that seem to make fabulous friends though :D

but as far as dating... i'm gay so i dig guys lol, so i wouldn't really be attracted to people who seem to have more feminine than masculine characteristics, as ignorant or exclusive as that sounds.
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Postby PoisonBoy » Thu Sep 22, 2005 9:41 pm

I think more guys like to date fem guys than they would say its a bit werid.
I quite often have talked to a guy telling me they don't like fem guys over the internet, only to change their mind about this the moment i told them im a bit feminem. So I think some guys just don't like to admit it or something like that, but if they really have to decide it doesn't matters that much
I'm not super feminem, but still enough for people to quite often ask if I'm gay. When I was younger I often wondered if guys would dislike me because I'm a bit gayish but now I think it isn't that much of a problem, as long as someone doesn't exaggerate it and act overly feminem.
I wonder why some guys hate a bit feminem guys so much, and so much try to be masculine. it makes me a bit sad sometimes, I dont think people realise it does hurts some people to hear it over and over and over again
Last edited by PoisonBoy on Fri Sep 23, 2005 8:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby I_hate_myself_s0_much » Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:56 pm

.................
Last edited by I_hate_myself_s0_much on Sun Mar 04, 2007 10:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby blu » Fri Sep 23, 2005 8:13 pm

im fem and I really couldnt give a fu** about who wants me and who doesnt *giggles*

I've learned though, that after awhile, rejection can make you very insecure, it sucks, especially from someone masculine..but my life isnt over, Im still breathing, so I must have a purpose beyond serving another man.. :oops:
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Postby Smitty » Fri Sep 23, 2005 8:14 pm

PoisonBoy wrote:how do i get my icon to work it wont upload?

That feature isn't working just now. The webmaster is working on it...

Welcome to the board PoisonBoy. :D
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Postby PoisonBoy » Fri Sep 23, 2005 8:24 pm

Smitty wrote:
PoisonBoy wrote:how do i get my icon to work it wont upload?

That feature isn't working just now. The webmaster is working on it...

Welcome to the board PoisonBoy. :D


Oww thank u sweetheart!
why isnt it working anymore?


blu wrote:im fem and I really couldnt give a fu** about who wants me and who doesnt *giggles*

I've learned though, that after awhile, rejection can make you very insecure, it sucks, especially from someone masculine..but my life isnt over, Im still breathing, so I must have a purpose beyond serving another man.. :oops:


Yes thats so true. So many guys have it on their profile its not nice to read.
Usually its not even that they are saying it but the way they sometimes say it is mean. Like you're not worth anything.

Why do u feel it makes it more worse when someone is masculine?
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Postby Smitty » Fri Sep 23, 2005 8:39 pm

PoisonBoy wrote:Oww thank u sweetheart!

:oops:

PoisonBoy wrote:why isnt it working anymore?

Erm... well... some work was done on the site to correct another problem and then this one showed up to take its' place. Tom, the webmaster, is working like 70 hours/week, so it may be a while yet to get it fixed.
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