Dating Fem guys

Discussion on what it means to be straight acting, whether it's good, bad or indifferent.

Moderators: selective_soldier, furface

Dating Fem Guys

Yes?
11
14%
No?
54
69%
Maybe
13
17%
 
Total votes : 78

Postby Ombro » Fri Apr 25, 2008 7:14 am

It's a no from me too. Sorry... I tried! Just don't find effeminate behaviour attractive on an intimate level. On a friendship level, no worries at all. I have a good mate who has pretty campy mannerisms but is 100% straight - married, kids, the lot. We get a big laugh out of the fact that a lot of people think he's the gay one when we're seen together.
Ombro
Newbie
 
Posts: 22
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2008 9:32 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby anatole noziere » Mon May 12, 2008 12:34 am

There are several issues in this matter of "dating" effeminate men. The first is "dating" itself, which it seems to me is one of those characteristically silly, unpleasant preoccupations of heterosexual women, like musical theater, weddings and ballroom dancing--things I wouldn't be caught dead doing. I, for my part, on the one hand, visit, socialize, attend functions; on the other hand, I dine, converse--and sometimes have sex. I don't "date," and the suggestion that I might is rather offensive: You have the wrong era, the wrong sex, and, I can't help feeling, the wrong species.

Secondly, I have learned through bitter, nay sickening, experience never to go ahead and have sex with an effeminate man, no matter how good looking he is, and no matter how horny I am. It ruins the friendship, if there was one, and leaves a horrible taste in your mouth (at least metaphorically speaking), and, too often, a lingering smell on your person of sick-making female perfume.

Thirdly there is the matter of trusting your perceptions. Gaydar isn't just something we gay men use to spot one another, it's a whole range of direct perceptions and apperception. It is infallible in the same way that every chimapanzee/human's ability to recognize faces is infallible: When once we see that female thing in an otherwise masculine man's eyes and mannerisms, sexual compatibility is forever out of the question.
anatole noziere
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Mar 03, 2008 11:52 am

Postby dracuscalico » Wed Dec 31, 2008 6:53 pm

I can't bring myself to be boyfriends with anyone feminine or have a fling that they will tell everyone about. Years ago , when I used to go clubbing, there was this beautiful, muscular, lean, 6 foot 4 model, amerasian, black and samoan mixed. Everyone was after him, he traveled with an entourage of friends and stalker/gawkers hanging on the fringes staring at him.

His friends befriended me, tried to fix me up with him, kept coming up with creagtive ways to force us into a conversation. We COULD have been the ALPHA couple of all hot couples except when he opened his mouth he was all "Theta". Sissy, high pitched extemely whiney stereotypical voice like I had never heard, with the sing song tonality and fluttering eyelashes to boot.

The Darwinian match was there externally, but personality wise, I knew I would be embarassed to have anything to do with him and that there was no way I could date, make love to or stand being around someone with that voice. I was friendly but made a point NOT to encourage anything with him.

Most important reason for me not to deal with feminine guys, is because I am suseptible to accents and I don't want the "Gaybonics" rubbing off on me.


MY BIGGEST RULE: Any guy who refers to other males by female pronouns EVEN ONCE is instantly off the list.
dracuscalico
Veteran Member
 
Posts: 1202
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:48 pm

Postby solitaryman1969 » Thu Jan 01, 2009 11:04 am

MY BIGGEST RULE: Any guy who refers to other males by female pronouns EVEN ONCE is instantly off the list.


I have to agree with you on that.

To me, you're making light of the experiences and contributions women have made over the years.

It reminds me of gym class, when the p.e. teacher would call us "ladies".

I've known some women in the past that could break his balls with only 1 finger. :lol:
"Time is priceless, yet it costs us nothing. You can do anything you want with it, except own it. You can spend it, but you can't keep it. And once you've lost it, there is no getting it back. It's just gone."
User avatar
solitaryman1969
Member
 
Posts: 233
Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2008 1:40 pm
Location: T.O. Canada

Postby dracuscalico » Thu Jan 01, 2009 2:57 pm

solitaryman1969 wrote:
MY BIGGEST RULE: Any guy who refers to other males by female pronouns EVEN ONCE is instantly off the list.


I have to agree with you on that.

To me, you're making light of the experiences and contributions women have made over the years.

It reminds me of gym class, when the p.e. teacher would call us "ladies".

I've known some women in the past that could break his balls with only 1 finger. :lol:



I feel strongly about the female pronouns not out of appreciation for women but rather out of the contempt I have for them because years of being "patient, understanding and gentlemanly" has made me extremely misogynistic. It's repulsive and unmanly for gay guys to try to strip other gay guys of their maleness by using female pronouns to describe each other.
dracuscalico
Veteran Member
 
Posts: 1202
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:48 pm

Re: Well can't say I didn't try...

Postby Desperate » Sat Jan 03, 2009 11:00 pm

chico wrote:
Chico
I would give this a second thought. I learned the hard way that if I don't feel right about something, something is wrong. I would chill and findout what it really is. Some guys become less masculine, in our minds, because they are just wrong for us.


Yea I actually had to end it. I mean I thought as long as he's a caring guy it wouldn't matter. He had everything else going for him, good job, educated, cultured, sweet, caring, all the things I like, but even with all that, the attraction just wasn't there, partly because of his femininity. He was pretty stereotypically gay with gestures, shopping (only Diesal, D+G), the whole nine. Don't get me wrong I like to rock nice clothes, but my identity isn't based on it. I guess I was thinking I could overlook my lack of phycical and sexual attraction to him because the other things were so great, but my heart wasn't in it, and it would be wrong for me to lead him on and act like it was. So back to the drawing board....sigh.... :(


I think that "she" just wasn't enough "grrl" for a "girl" like you, chica. And that would have been the moment when the jealousy would start to reign in. Wouldn't have made for a very interesting relationship, would it now, chica?
Being gay means being feminine!
Desperate
Newbie
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:13 pm

What happened to gay pride and grrl power?

Postby Desperate » Sat Jan 03, 2009 11:24 pm

anatole noziere wrote:There are several issues in this matter of "dating" effeminate men. The first is "dating" itself, which it seems to me is one of those characteristically silly, unpleasant preoccupations of heterosexual women, like musical theater, weddings and ballroom dancing--things I wouldn't be caught dead doing. I, for my part, on the one hand, visit, socialize, attend functions; on the other hand, I dine, converse--and sometimes have sex. I don't "date," and the suggestion that I might is rather offensive: You have the wrong era, the wrong sex, and, I can't help feeling, the wrong species.

Secondly, I have learned through bitter, nay sickening, experience never to go ahead and have sex with an effeminate man, no matter how good looking he is, and no matter how horny I am. It ruins the friendship, if there was one, and leaves a horrible taste in your mouth (at least metaphorically speaking), and, too often, a lingering smell on your person of sick-making female perfume.

Thirdly there is the matter of trusting your perceptions. Gaydar isn't just something we gay men use to spot one another, it's a whole range of direct perceptions and apperception. It is infallible in the same way that every chimapanzee/human's ability to recognize faces is infallible: When once we see that female thing in an otherwise masculine man's eyes and mannerisms, sexual compatibility is forever out of the question.



Why are you gay-up lying about your homosexuality? (homosexuality is femininity, and vice versa). You are a queenie pre-shemale just like College Pepper and chica. Bust out of that goddamn closet already, seranading us with a showtune. And stop hiding behing your beard and stop hiding your lisp. There's too many of us on the down-low already with all this pretending-to-be-straight foolishness, when you know, deep down, that there is a big ol' girl inside of you (in more ways than one), and you're forever suffocating the drag queen.

Let her live! Let Her Live, Goddamn It! LET HER LIVE!!!

Give her life for once in your life!
Being gay means being feminine!
Desperate
Newbie
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:13 pm

Re: What happened to gay pride and grrl power?

Postby PhillyAgenda » Sun Jan 04, 2009 7:04 pm

Desperate wrote:Let her live! Let Her Live, Goddamn It! LET HER LIVE!!!

Give her life for once in your life!

You've got some good material I'll give you that. :lol:
PhillyAgenda
Member
 
Posts: 98
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 2:18 pm
Location: Philly

Re:

Postby Syn » Tue May 25, 2010 10:23 pm

dracuscalico wrote:I can't bring myself to be boyfriends with anyone feminine or have a fling that they will tell everyone about. Years ago , when I used to go clubbing, there was this beautiful, muscular, lean, 6 foot 4 model, amerasian, black and samoan mixed. Everyone was after him, he traveled with an entourage of friends and stalker/gawkers hanging on the fringes staring at him.

His friends befriended me, tried to fix me up with him, kept coming up with creagtive ways to force us into a conversation. We COULD have been the ALPHA couple of all hot couples except when he opened his mouth he was all "Theta". Sissy, high pitched extemely whiney stereotypical voice like I had never heard, with the sing song tonality and fluttering eyelashes to boot.

The Darwinian match was there externally, but personality wise, I knew I would be embarassed to have anything to do with him and that there was no way I could date, make love to or stand being around someone with that voice. I was friendly but made a point NOT to encourage anything with him.

Most important reason for me not to deal with feminine guys, is because I am suseptible to accents and I don't want the "Gaybonics" rubbing off on me.


MY BIGGEST RULE: Any guy who refers to other males by female pronouns EVEN ONCE is instantly off the list.



MY GOSH do I know what you mean. I cannot count the number of times guys said stuff like "You would be bf materail if you didn't sound like that" or "He's cute but his voice kills it" or "Your hott but your voice isn't"

hahah and the more I go on this website the more I feel like guys like me,feminine guys, are like a minority. Hahaha Feminine guys are a minority within a minority :))

And I would date a feminine guy as long as he's a top, as long as he's comfortable with his sexuality, and as long as he's not so darn scared all the time femininw or not...... scared gay guys are f***ing irritating. -nod-
Syn
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Sun May 23, 2010 4:18 am

Previous

Return to Straight Acting Men

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron