Question for Learning

Discussion on what it means to be straight acting, whether it's good, bad or indifferent.

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Question for Learning

Postby furface » Sat Apr 25, 2009 6:05 pm

Hey Learning, ole son:

Noticed y'all authored 5 threads dealing with behavior, gender expression, and the like. And ya don't seem any too interested in other topics.

Now ya don't have to answer or s'plain less ya want to; but why are y'all so focused on that facet of the sexually atypical?

To my alleged mind that is a very minor portion of what makes any one of us. No more relevant than our choice of victuals for Sunday supper.

Just wonderein'?
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Postby edu999 » Sat Apr 25, 2009 8:04 pm

I bet he's that same guy, the one from India.
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Postby furface » Sat Apr 25, 2009 9:07 pm

No Karlo, I've checked. The IP isn't from India.
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What makes personal style an interesting topic

Postby Learning » Sun Apr 26, 2009 6:59 am

Hi Furface,

I notice that the messages about communication and style have generated twice as many views as my message on UFC. If there is something in any of those messages that creates a problem for you, please let me know. Maybe I need to introduce myself on the new users forum to make my perspective on these complex and sensitive issues easier to understand.

In answer to your question about what makes communication style interesting, I can think of many reasons why communication style would be of interest. Below are some of those reasons.

Master Status: Gender and sexual orientation are characteristics that in most people's way of thinking overwhelm other character traits making gender and sexual orientation a central part of anyone's identity.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_status

Power: Many of the behaviors that are called "straight acting" actually have to do with expressions of dominance as opposed to submission. Stereotypes encourage gay men to give up their power through expressions of submission. Other groups such as women and African-Americans have in large part challenged stereotypes that block their access to power. Gay people are beginning to recognize the power of nonverbal image in working toward justice. Dr. Albert Mehrabian has valuable information in his book Silent Messages.

http://www.ericberne.com/people/albertmehrabian.htm

Safety: Not being able to communicate assertively and not fitting expectations for gender can lead to difficulties. Those difficulties range from not being taken seriously to violence. Mistreatment based on personal style or sexual orientation is not fair or deserved but knowing gender expectations gives people the option to pass more safely.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence_a ... GBT_people

Love and Money: Some people find "straight acting" style attractive and advertise for "straight acting" partners. Some people would like to adjust their style and there is probably a market for anyone willing to do image consulting.

http://www.psych.northwestern.edu/psych ... phobia.htm

Adjusting to Social Progress: In the wake of changing gender roles, many men are left with questions about what demonstrates their manhood. To know how to communicate manly strength without hostility and violence toward self and others would be valuable for many people. Sociologist Dr. Michael Kimmel has explored this issue in his book Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men.

http://www.guyland.net/

Issues of Fairness and Freedom: The topic of communication style raises questions related to fairness and freedom. Is it reasonable for people to have strong feelings about effeminate and "straight acting" behaviors? What arguments can be made when people are put down based on their style? Tim Bergling's book Sissyphobia: Gay Men and Effeminate Behavior is a valuable starting point on these issues.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sissyphobi ... e_Behavior

Other books with contrasting perspectives on effeminacy are Angelo Pezzote's Straight Acting and Jack Malebranche's Androphilia: A Manifesto Rejecting the Gay Identity and Reclaiming Masculinity.

http://www.askangelo.com/index.php?opti ... &Itemid=88

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Malebranche

Curiousity: A person need not be born a certain way to be entitled to freedom of expression in a live and let live society, but communication style also brings up questions about how people develop their styles. Since communication style involves expression of emotion, some part of communication style is likely to be biologically based. Some ways of communicating come from lifelong habits of thinking, feeling, and acting. Finally, some parts of communication style come from fitting expectations. Rappers are not born dangling bling and gay men are not born clutching pearls. Which parts of communication style seem to be inherent in a person and which parts come from trying to fit the expectations of oppressive stereotypes?

We live in a time of change and uncertainity, and it is fortunate that we have a forum for discussing these complex, cutting edge issues. I look forward to learning more from what all of you have to say. :D
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Postby furface » Sun Apr 26, 2009 4:19 pm

I don't have any problems with you or your posts; so long as they stay discussions. Post and response. Problems only begin when the posts spiral into polemics and/or manifestos. This ain't the place for monologues and zealots, or trolls for that matter. And I certainly ain't callin' ya a troll. To date none of your posts have been designed to incite a response; ya ain't pokin' a stick into a bees' nest to see what'll happen.

I just noticed a pattern and was curious.

If'n ya want to make a more specific introduction, or expand your views - that's up to you.

Stick around and enjoy the place.
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Postby solat » Mon Apr 27, 2009 2:29 am

furface wrote:I don't have any problems with you or your posts


I didn't either until I happened upon a post (he later deleted) accusing another member of being fem.

From that moment on, I categorised him as a g0y/phylloiso oddball until he can prove otherwise.
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Thank you

Postby Learning » Mon Apr 27, 2009 3:31 pm

Thank you both for the welcome and clarification of your boundries.
That would be unfortunate if someone were accused of being, "fem" or an "oddball." I too expect logically relevant, fact-based replies.
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