Gender polarity and self-concept--Why the choice?

Discussion on what it means to be straight acting, whether it's good, bad or indifferent.

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Gender polarity and self-concept--Why the choice?

Postby variant » Sun Dec 28, 2008 12:14 am

I have a hard time identifying myself as either masculine or feminen... and the reason for this is because if I assume a masculine self-concept, if I identify to others that I am masculine.... I'll have to defend that. It creates a sort of dynamic in which if one wanted to unearth a sort of power over me... all they'd have to do is destabalize that mental image/understanding. I think thats why I've always gravitated toward identifying myself as male-oriented gender neutral or unisex/androgyny. Under that realm you are ambigous, people can't throw with 100% confidence a pre-program on you.

Yeah the important thing is how you are situated within... I see this. The more I learn, the more confidence I gain. The more confidence I gain, the more masculine I realize I've always been but deliberately suppressed in order to evade being cut down.

Sometimes I really do feel as though I cannot be all that I am... because I am so much.


I'm asking how to escape this and I know that a great deal of it I'll figure out somehow. But until then I request resources to work with lol...

Sorry if this is vague and/or repetitive... I don't come here often and it's been quite some time.
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Re: Gender polarity and self-concept--Why the choice?

Postby masculinity » Sun Dec 28, 2008 1:13 am

variant wrote:I have a hard time identifying myself as either masculine or feminen... and the reason for this is because if I assume a masculine self-concept, if I identify to others that I am masculine.... I'll have to defend that. It creates a sort of dynamic in which if one wanted to unearth a sort of power over me... all they'd have to do is destabalize that mental image/understanding. I think thats why I've always gravitated toward identifying myself as male-oriented gender neutral or unisex/androgyny. Under that realm you are ambigous, people can't throw with 100% confidence a pre-program on you.

Yeah the important thing is how you are situated within... I see this. The more I learn, the more confidence I gain. The more confidence I gain, the more masculine I realize I've always been but deliberately suppressed in order to evade being cut down.

Sometimes I really do feel as though I cannot be all that I am... because I am so much.


I'm asking how to escape this and I know that a great deal of it I'll figure out somehow. But until then I request resources to work with lol...

Sorry if this is vague and/or repetitive... I don't come here often and it's been quite some time.


How I see your situation, is how many men who have a well developed sexual need for men feel in their forming years, even later, as long as they don't have a definite gender identity -- although, if they take on the 'gay' identity, they automatically settle down for a feminine or at least a less masculine identity.

If I am not incorrect in my analysis, you're a predominantly masculine guy as far as biology is concerned. And believe me, even if your western society tells you otherwise, Masculinity and femininity, i.e. Gender, is biologically determined, and not merely social constructs, although, there is also a social brand of Gender, which is fake and is a social construct; I call it Social Manhood and Social Femininity, to distinguish it from natural, biological manhood and natural femininity.

Remember:

1. All men have some femininity in them, even if they are predominantly masculine -- even the machoest guy. And all women have some masculinity in them.

2. Our Natural masculinity as boys, comes in a 'seed' form which needs to be cultivated and developed in order to grow into a full fledged 'tree'. For this it needs the company of other masculine gendered males, i.e. membership of men's spaces (and not of effeminate/ queer males -- that will develop your 'small' femininity and bring it into focus). This is needed especially in the formative years.
It is this membership of men's spaces that is basically called "manhood" and in western societies have come to be known as 'straight'. Therefore, in short, you need to be one of the 'straights' in order to develop your inner, natural masculinity. And this poses problems because straight is unfairly held equivalent to 'heterosexuality'.
For men who have missed this crucial 'manhood' process in their adolescence, they can, if they have that inner natural masculinity in them, develop their manhood later, through an intense romantic/ emotional/ social bond with a straight male who has gone through this manhood process and has been a member of men's spaces. His company can do for your inner masculinity what the men's spaces would have done.
This is why men's spaces, manhood, and straight identity is so important for masculine males. They are not really heterosexuals, the real heterosexuality is much less, both in terms of degree and incidence.

3... ALL MEN HAVE A SEXUAL NEED FOR MEN. But, masculine males are under severe pressure to suppress, disown and hide their sexuality for men, because it is tied together and classified socially with the 'gays' (i.e. queers/ effeminate males). This is akin to saying that liking men is a feminine thing to do. And, its a conspiracy against men to break them from each other, immense social femininity is enforced upon men, once they acknowledge their sexual need for men or bring it into focus within themselves.

4. When men are granted social manhood, it has an immense effect on their inner masculinity, which tends to get developed and come out. Because masculinity needs power (and power is unfortunately tied with heterosexuality in the West). Ever tried to pretend liking girls. See, how when you do it successfully, it suddenly makes you feel so macho, so powerful, so much of a man. This is caused by the immense manhood/ power, artificially attached to heterosexuality, that has now seeped the air we breathe.

Social manhood granted by the society, acts as a powerful magnet upon our natural masculinity, which comes to the fore when we are granted social manhood. Its also an acknowledgment by the society, of our masculinity, which as social beings, we badly need.

And they give you extreme social manhood for heterosexuality.

5. Similarly, social femininity also acts as a magnet on humans, bringing out their femininity to the fore. Even if you have very little amount of it, (which all masculine males have), although, then it will be only for a small period of time and go away quickly.

As a conspiracy to discourage masculine men from forming sexual bonds with other men, the Forces of Heterosexualization have laden male-to-male sexuality with immense social femininity. This is why, when you're in the straight space, and your desire for men is 'caught', you feel extremely vulnerable and 'feminine'. Because, you suddenly attract the immense Social femininity that hangs in the air that acts as a magnet on you.

Even if your natural femininity is very small, that all masculine men have, this experience can be pretty overwhelming and disempowering -- warning most men to keep off such desires in the future. This is because, the immense Social Femininity that you get from the 'air' seems very real and an average person cannot distinguish between his real 'femininity' and the artificial femininity that is imposed by the society. The immense Social femininity that is imposed from the outside, is reinforced by the small and short duration flash of femininity you suddenly feel from inside, as the Social femininity acts as a magnet upon it.

However, apart from social engineering, there is no real connection between Queerness (i.e. femininity) and man's sexual desire for men.

All the above factors can make a naturally masculine male who has a developed sexuality for men from an early age, be forced to forego the normal masculinising processes of the society, that he should have been entitled to... and thus lose the opportunity to develop his masculinity into manhood.

This can make you insecure as a man. This can make you insecure about your masculinity, about your manhood. In Western society, it can make you insecure about your straighthood, if you're struggling to remain as one of the guys.

In this case, you will feel more as a genderless person, than have a definite identity as a masculine male. In any case, it is not possible in the western society to live openly as a man who likes men and not be rendered so disempowered that you can't really feel masculine. However, the 'gay' identity is even more disempowering for one's masculinity.

Understanding the dynamism of social masculinity and femininity, understanding the conspiracy behind all this politics around gender and sexuality, and above all, understanding, accessing and then developing your inner masculinity so much so that the outside mechanisms stop bothering you or depriving of your own inner masculinity -- are the ways in which you can keep your masculine self-identity, which is also your natural identity. For this you can refer to this site:

Reclaiming Natural Manhood Site

and

Reclaiming Natural Manhood Steps

It's a struggle, because our society is so hostile to the idea of masculine males liking men, and all these mechanisms to prevent you from being masculine if you like men. How can you expect to have an easy life, when the society is so extremely hostile against your basic, inner traits?

But in these trying times, only the real masculine guys can keep their sense of 'manhood'. [url][/url]
Gays are a different species altogether from men (and women). They're not "men who like men," they are "third gender who like men."

http://youth-masculinity.blogspot.com
masculinity
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Postby masculinity » Sun Dec 28, 2008 1:16 am

Organising together with other masculine males who understand and relate to these issues, especially those masculine males who have a well developed sexuality for men, will be very helpful to you. If possible in person, but even on the net.

Getting involved in this campaign to liberate masculinity and masculine men, will also help you a great deal in understanding, accessing and realising your natural manhood.
Gays are a different species altogether from men (and women). They're not "men who like men," they are "third gender who like men."

http://youth-masculinity.blogspot.com
masculinity
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Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2006 1:44 pm
Location: India

Re: Gender polarity and self-concept--Why the choice?

Postby Tom » Sat Sep 22, 2012 3:18 pm

Society creates an artificial atmosphere where males from an early age start believing that the social roles of masculinity are natural. So they use all their energy to try to fit into these social models.
I think masculinity is right. This is exactly where social femininity comes into play when a man feels attracted to man. The man who feels attracted to women is given artificial masculinity (even if he isn't) but the man who is attracted to women is given huge artificial femininity (even if he isn't) making him feel extremely vulnerable.
However, it is self-confidence that can come to his rescue at that moment.
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