Friends vs. Acquaintances

Discussion on what it means to be straight acting, whether it's good, bad or indifferent.

Moderators: selective_soldier, furface

How many "friends" (not acquaintances) do you have?

None, I can't believe what a loser I am
1-2, Hey, at least I'm not as pathetic as the first guy
3-5, I'm starting to feel normal
5-10, Wow, people like me, they really, really like me
10-15, I can't believe how cool I am
More than 15, I am such a swell guy, I can't even keep track of all my friends
Total votes : 25

Friends vs. Acquaintances

Postby Flamingomonkey » Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:49 pm

I have been reading more and more about our unraveling social networks in this country. People no longer pick out a career for life and settle down in the town they grew up in. They're constantly changing careers and cities, moving in and out of their parent's house. Society is more fluid than ever before, with is causing problems for clubs, organizations, churches, etc. And it may be having a detrimental effect on our well being by making it harder to form and sustain lasting relationships, the kind that don't involve sharing a bed. So, I was wondering how you define "friends" and "acquaintances" and how many of each you think you have.
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Postby LongHornA4Boy » Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:06 pm

I'd say I have two, maybe three people I'd call "friends". My definition though is different from most. Yeah, I have an entire social network that I hang out with, or party with, but I still consider them more acquantances. We don't know eachother too well.

If I considered every person I hang out with to be a friend, I'd probably have 50 friends.
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Postby charmcitywop » Thu Apr 28, 2005 9:21 pm

I stayed put so I still have a lot of the friends I knew in college around me. My house is only about a half hour from where I went to college. My two best friends from school, Daryl and Trish live just a few miles apart from each other. I'm about 20 minutes from them (they all left the city when the they started having kids).

Our company is opening offices in Australia. Jonathan and I loved it there but I told him I've put down too many roots to move that far. He's more of a nomad. He's traveled a lot for work and moved to Baltimore from Boston with only a cousin living nearby (I snagged him up shortly thereafter!).

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Postby Lesley R. Charles » Thu Apr 28, 2005 10:30 pm

I have about five real close friends. I choose the last answer because I do consider most of the guys on the board as friends. Partly because I have been able to say things that I can't say to some of the people I face everyday.
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Postby Earl Butz » Fri Apr 29, 2005 4:42 am

I find adult friendships don't last very long. At least in childhood, you tend to have the same friends year after year. But adults have responsibilities, and that screws everything up.

I thought being gay, it would be easier to keep friends....they tend not to have all the boring responsibilities of heteros. Not true, unfortunately. The big responsibility for most people is a job, of course. And gays have jobs just like straights.
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Postby rovie » Fri Apr 29, 2005 9:31 am

I consider aquaintences to be people you occasionally nod to and have a bit of small talk with - for example, people you might have a game of pool or bowls with but otherwise don't socialize or phone for a chat.

Friends are people you can phone for a chat, go out with to dinner or see a movie - visit or talk in depth with etc. If they died you'd go to their funeral type of thing.

Then you have best friends - friends you've known for years and have had major fights and fun and adventures with. I still have three good friends from High School.
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Postby *B*i*L*L*y » Fri Apr 29, 2005 12:06 pm

I know alot of people, alot of them I consider friends, but only a handful I'd call close friends......tons of aquaintences....

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Postby Marti » Fri Apr 29, 2005 12:33 pm

I'd be lying if I said I don't catagorize and sort out the people I know.

Friends I have loads, people whom I have reasons to actively keep in touch with because we share similiar interests and stuff like that.

Beyond friends, I have best/close friends, all which I can count with one hand---four. Best friends are those whom you meet up with for no particular reasons, but still enjoy their company, and chat about every thing and anything.

As for acquaintances... more than I care to count, and some I wish I never got aquainted with.
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Postby cloudy » Fri Apr 29, 2005 1:21 pm

See who will loan you money, or let you come live with them for a while, then you will know who the friends are.

Friends agree to disagree.

I have three friends, all women. My mom, my older sister, and a woman I've known for 35 years. I have a few close acquaintences but I wouldn't count on them for the time of day.

You don't have to ask friends for help, they simply give it.

I try to never ask anyone for anything.
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Postby devilnuts » Fri Apr 29, 2005 7:28 pm

What I consider a true friend...I don't have.

My problem is that I move a lot, I change my schedule a lot, and a lot of other people can't deal with that. It seems that most people have to have constant contact and I can't provide that to myself, let alone anyone else. My cat is more than needy enough for me...and she's pushing it. I mean, I have LOTS of aquaintances, but I don't consider any close friends. I wouldn't trust them with my life, of course, I don't think I'd even trust a significant other with my life...lmao. :D
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Postby jcmsea » Fri Apr 29, 2005 9:09 pm

I guess it depends on what your definition of "friend" is. For me the word "friend" is used to casually today.

A "friend" to me is:

-someone who I can count on no matter what.

-someone who is always on my side and supports me no matter what

-someone who knows what you are going to say before you say it.

-someone who is loyal

It's been said if you can go through life and count your true friends one hand and use at least 3 fingers your a very lucky man.

I guess I'm lucky. After 42 years on this earth I have 4 of those such friends.

Now a good friend will help you move

A REALLY REALLY good friend will help you move a dead body :lol:

some things are better left for someone else to find
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Postby Negate » Wed May 04, 2005 1:02 am

I have a good amount of really close friends. Aqcuaintances I have HEAPS of. I seem to be easy to get along with, which exactly what I want I used to be nieve enough to think everyone could be my friend but life had to slap me around a bit. Also I seem to be som weird sexual median with all my friends :? . Weird I feel like those individuals in certain native american tribes who were somewhat like sex consultors.
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Postby blackmet » Wed May 04, 2005 11:04 am

Seven close friends...but I made the last one of those when I was 17, 6 years ago. And one of them moved to Tennessee in January, and he hasn't called since. I still count him, though, because I know HOW he is...even when he lived in town, he NEVER called ANYONE, even his very closest friends. I know I won't hear from him until he happens to drop back in to Denver for a visit. LOL

If you were to count people that I hang out with sometimes, including co-workers and acquaintences, I'd say that number blossoms all the way up to... 15. Maybe.

Really, I'm reasonably happy like that. I'm a bit of a hermit. Apparently I'm easy to get along with, despite the fact that I'm a bitter, negative chain-smoking queen; and weird people seem to LOVE me even when I don't like them.
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Re: Friends vs. Acquaintances

Postby selective_soldier » Sun Dec 27, 2009 1:01 am

Flamingomonkey wrote: Society is more fluid than ever before, with is causing problems for clubs, organizations, churches, etc.

I can agree to this, and recognize the impact it’s had on me in forming relationships.

Flamingomonkey wrote: And it may be having a detrimental effect on our well being by making it harder to form and sustain lasting relationships, the kind that don't involve sharing a bed.

I’ve heard some of my friends refer to relations they have as Friends with benefits . Now it doesn’t seem my cup of tea for various reasons, however I sincerely admire the frankness of people who embark in this endeavor. It seems empty, emotionless, but not all the BS entailed in a formidable relationship.

Flamingomonkey wrote: So, I was wondering how you define "friends" and "acquaintances" and how many of each you think you have.

My definitions for both are too lengthy. If you’re talking "friends" and "acquaintances" in terms of potential mates, that would be different than guys you eventually have over to just hang out.
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Re: Friends vs. Acquaintances

Postby Phoenix6570 » Tue Jan 05, 2010 1:05 pm

I have a good amount of friends but they're split into 2 groups. one group of friends I'm really not going to be able to see anymore. That leaves me now with 4 friends. One I never see because he never leaves his house. Another is in a bad situation and I may not be seeing them for a long time. I could add a few more people, but my friendship with them isn't very strong. I have many acquaintances whom I've known for years.

As I get older I've lost more and more friends for a variety of reasons. Mostly due to graduating from High School. It makes me concerned in a way home things will go in the future. Right now I don't see myself making any new friends and I've been losing them quick.
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Re: Friends vs. Acquaintances

Postby nimby » Tue Jan 05, 2010 1:10 pm

Happening to me too. Lost most of my old friends along the way, but made a few very good ones too, so maybe it balances out.
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Re: Friends vs. Acquaintances

Postby PhillyAgenda » Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:33 am

I've never had a lot of close friends, and I've had different friends over the years. I'm kind of an introvert so maybe my lack of initiating things doesn't help. I'm not the type of person to just randomly call people up to go out. I don't even still have friends from high school (I was kind of a loner anyway and didn't have many close friends) or college that I talk to. I haven't talked to my best friend from high school in a few years and I don't even know where the hell he is now.

I would say that I have 3 close friends, met two of them at work, and the third is the brother of one of those two. And one of them recently got married, so that leaves 2 that I hang out with regularly. And I'm not entirely comfortable with this situation because now it seems like i'm depending on them for everything I do.
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Re: Friends vs. Acquaintances

Postby backpacker » Fri Jan 08, 2010 4:04 pm

I didn't have many friends in high school, a loner too. I made quite a few friends in college, three I see face to face regularly and two through phone calls and emails (they live far away). After coming out after college I lost a few friendships that I would like to have back. I was in my college roommates wedding, and we all used to go skiing together but lost touch after that. I sent a letter to an old friend from college who I found through some searching on the internet but never got a phone call or email from her. I have a lot of facebook friends that I communicate with on occasion. So in total I have five friends I would call close/best friends six including my partner.
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