Best Comeback or Cover Story when straights get nosy

Discussion on what it means to be straight acting, whether it's good, bad or indifferent.

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Best Comeback or Cover Story when straights get nosy

Postby dracuscalico » Mon Nov 03, 2008 3:48 am

What are some of your best lines, comebacks or cover stories you have used when people, usually women, try to question your sexuality?

Granted a lot of you are happily partnered, set for life and financially empowered enough not to have your livelihood dependent upon others' opinions or work in professions where a guy's sexuality wouldn't matter. So we get that YOU can say, "who gives a rat's azz what anybody knows", but this is more advice for guys who AREN'T as lucky as you. Think back to the days when you HAD to be closeted and let us know what worked for you way back when...

Why? :shock: Because guys who come to a site called straightacting might not be marching in parades and wearing rainbow wristbands to tell the whole world their "bizniz" :roll: and they'd just assume keep it that way....it's a chance for everyone to learn from your experience. :wink:
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Postby Pazuzu P. Sasquatch » Mon Nov 03, 2008 5:12 am

With women, on those rare occasions they'd ask, I'd just tell them.

With guys, my two favorite replies to "Are you gay?" are:

1) "You mean gay as in 'likes men' or gay as in 'stupid?'"

2) "How badly do you want to know?" (accompanied by intense eye-contact)
When I was driving once, I saw this painted on a bridge: "I don't want the world. I just want your half."
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Postby dracuscalico » Mon Nov 03, 2008 8:18 am

Telling a woman is always a mistake, if you want to keep a low profile. They'll only keep your secret as long as they feel priviledged, but then they can't resist "confiding" in others just how priviledged they are to have that knowledge and drop hints until "someone drags it out of them"...
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Postby solitaryman1969 » Mon Nov 03, 2008 8:30 am

People are unsure on how to approach me, so these questions are usually asked with a slight hesistation.

If it's someone who I really don't know, I keep my answers vague, as I'm not the type to divulge info about my personal life...it's really boring anyway.

People who know me, already know that I'm rather private, so they know not to ask.
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Postby jkav » Mon Nov 03, 2008 8:56 am

Pazuzu P. Sasquatch wrote:1) "You mean gay as in 'likes men' or gay as in 'stupid?'"

That's fantastic. I'm going to remember that one.
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Postby Pazuzu P. Sasquatch » Mon Nov 03, 2008 9:13 am

dracuscalico wrote:Telling a woman is always a mistake, if you want to keep a low profile. They'll only keep your secret as long as they feel priviledged, but then they can't resist "confiding" in others just how priviledged they are to have that knowledge and drop hints until "someone drags it out of them"...


You know who else you can count on for that sh*t? Out queens.
When I was driving once, I saw this painted on a bridge: "I don't want the world. I just want your half."
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Postby edu999 » Mon Nov 03, 2008 10:26 am

I don't try to cover up anymore.

If someone I don't consider a friend asks me if I'm married or if I have a girlfriend, I just say no.

If the person who asks me is someone I consider a friend, I say no, but I have a partner.

Life's too short to keep trying to cover stuff up.
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Postby Pazuzu P. Sasquatch » Mon Nov 03, 2008 10:29 am

This.

(I'm 50 years old. Fukc what people think.)
When I was driving once, I saw this painted on a bridge: "I don't want the world. I just want your half."
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Postby dracuscalico » Mon Nov 03, 2008 2:44 pm

Pazuzu P. Sasquatch wrote:
dracuscalico wrote:Telling a woman is always a mistake, if you want to keep a low profile. They'll only keep your secret as long as they feel priviledged, but then they can't resist "confiding" in others just how priviledged they are to have that knowledge and drop hints until "someone drags it out of them"...


You know who else you can count on for that sh*t? Out queens.


Yes, they are desperate to claim any masculine guy amongst their ranks that they can, which goes back to that other post about effeminate guys being the reason other guys stay on the DL. Little Richard said, after he came clean about what everyone knew anyway but politely denied, "this one and that one started avoiding me 'cause they were afraid I was gonna tell on them!" If a sissy says someone is gay, that person is pretty much sunk if he doesn't have a girlfriend.
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Postby JakeMIke » Tue Nov 04, 2008 8:44 am

I find that a lot of people just don't have the nerve to ask if I'm gay, or they figure it's none of their business.
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Postby djwm172 » Tue Nov 04, 2008 6:32 pm

I think Dracus is on to something. Knowledge is power. Tell as little as possible because it will come back to bite you.

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Postby chidiver » Tue Nov 04, 2008 6:37 pm

I have one buddy that I'm pretty sure his wife is pressing him to ask me. I plan on saying "yes" but really my bizarre and likely perverse sexual fetishes are more interesting and not reveling what they are. It will drive his wife absolutely nuts! :wink:
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Postby Guinness Fan » Tue Nov 04, 2008 7:10 pm

^ care to elaborate on those "perverse sexual fetishes"? Inquiring minds want to know...
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Postby jkav » Tue Nov 04, 2008 7:13 pm

Guinness Fan wrote:^ care to elaborate on those "perverse sexual fetishes"? Inquiring minds want to know...


Indeed...
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Postby dracuscalico » Tue Nov 04, 2008 7:53 pm

chidiver wrote:I have one buddy that I'm pretty sure his wife is pressing him to ask me. I plan on saying "yes" but really my bizarre and likely perverse sexual fetishes are more interesting and not reveling what they are. It will drive his wife absolutely nuts! :wink:


Something to keep in mind, is determining WHY the wife is pressing to find out. If it is because she suspects you and her husband are more than friends, saying "yes" could affect their marriage unless you have a steady boyfriend and she meets him to confirm that you are not a threat. Or unless you become her new "best friend" :roll: so she can keep an eye on you.

A lot of women who've watched Oprah talking about the "downlow" phenomenom and other shows with a, "How to Tell if Your Man is Gay" angle, are now looking for signs.
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Postby chidiver » Tue Nov 04, 2008 7:58 pm

Naw, they live a good five hours away from me and are inseparable from each other. She is just nosy.
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Postby Phoenix6570 » Tue Nov 04, 2008 8:42 pm

I haven't had anyone question my sexuality. If they did and I wasn't comfortable with telling them, then they wouldn't find out. Its my business and if someone kept trying to find out I probably would spend very little time with them. In the end I'll decide who and when someone finds out. I would probably try to change the subject, but I would do it in a way that doesn't give them a hint that I am.
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Postby medguy13 » Fri Nov 07, 2008 12:07 am

I started my new job back in Sept and I've been wondering when/if this is going to come up. It's a medical practice where I'm 1 of 2 men among 15 women. Everyone likes to talk a lot, so I figure it's just a matter of time. I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if people have talk behind closed doors. I wouldn't really mind if anyone asked me, and I love these lines I'm getting from this post.
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Postby DerWanderer » Fri Nov 07, 2008 1:59 am

I've got what one of my friends calls "that evil look that makes me think I'm about to die a painful death" :twisted:

My solution (at least for men): Give them that look and say "Why don't you make a pass and find out."

None of them ever do. The matter is never brought up again, and things proceed as they always had.
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Postby dracuscalico » Sun Nov 09, 2008 12:46 am

Potential Comebacks:

Perhaps you should adjust your medication, before you get your feelings hurt.

Tell whomever is interested in me, I said no thanks.

Why?

What part of your job description would that fall under?

Are you afraid that I'm interested in you? Or HOPING that I am?

I'm not interested in ANYONE so whomever wants me is barking up the wrong tree.

What the f - - k is YOUR problem?

How much does it pay?

If YOU'RE interested in me, YES I am....( to a nosy woman)

I imagine when YOU'RE interested guys TURN gay! (to nosy woman)

Why? Are you coming on to me?

NOT if YOU'RE interested I'm not!...(to nosy guy, rarity since guys leave that alone).

Go whack off with someone else....(to nosy guy)

Tell you what, if we go to prison you can be my b - - -h otherwise keep the f - - k away from me!....(to nosy guy)

What is this, the Lonely Hearts Club?

Is it required ?

Are you STUPID?

Don't you have anything better to do?
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Postby CollegePepper » Sun Nov 16, 2008 5:32 pm

dracuscalico wrote:Potential Comebacks:

Perhaps you should adjust your medication, before you get your feelings hurt.



LOL I really like that one!
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Re:

Postby selective_soldier » Sun Dec 27, 2009 12:29 am

dracuscalico wrote:What are some of your best lines, comebacks or cover stories you have used when people, usually women, try to question your sexuality?


Pazuzu P. Sasquatch wrote:
With guys, my two favorite replies to "Are you gay?" are:

1) "You mean gay as in 'likes men' or gay as in 'stupid?'"

2) "How badly do you want to know?" (accompanied by intense eye-contact)

:lol:
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