Kissing

Discussion on what it means to be straight acting, whether it's good, bad or indifferent.

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Kissing

Postby dezotti » Sat Jun 28, 2008 12:06 am

What are your thoughts on kissing? Like it? Don't care for it?

If you are in a relationship, are you and your partner comfortable enough with your sexuality to kiss in public? Whether that be a makeout session or more of a regular kiss.

I'm pretty much accustomed to kissing on the cheek-- but that's how I was raised. Latin culture and all that. Since I live in the US, I don't do that much, more hugging than anything else.

So, any opinions or experiences to share?
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Postby dezotti » Sat Jun 28, 2008 12:08 am

Addendum:

And if you aren't in a relationship:

Suppose you were in a relationship with another masculine man and he was open to public kissing, would you have a problem with that? Why? Why not?
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Postby JakeMIke » Sat Jun 28, 2008 10:58 am

I love kissing. Anytime, anywhere. Although, strangely enough, I am not that turned on by seeing others involved in public displays of affection. Perhaps I am jealous and/or selfish?
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Postby Earl Butz » Sun Jun 29, 2008 4:50 am

Gee we need more public affection, don't we? That's why everybody gets a dog.

Never seen two men kissing anywhere. Maybe at an airport if I looked more carefully. Lots of hugging and crying at airports. Everywhere else is dullsville.
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Postby Phoenix6570 » Sun Jun 29, 2008 8:53 am

First off I love kissing. When it comes to public kissing I guess I would be a bit nervous at first to kiss in public. I know I shouldn't be, but I would feel a little awkward at first. It wouldn't deter me from doing it, but it would take some time to be completely comfortable.
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Postby Screamer » Sun Jun 29, 2008 9:49 am

I've seen a public kiss, but not many by any means. Not to be too wimpy but it's really difficult to say because it's so foreign from my experiences right now. I could only speculate how I would feel if I were in such a situation.
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Postby edu999 » Sun Jun 29, 2008 10:54 am

I don't like kissing in public. I don't like doing it, and I don't like seeing other people do it. (Talking about "making out" here, gay or straight.)

Having said that, I have kissed and been kissed by men in public (the "buss" kind, for saying hello or goodbye, both on the cheeks and on the lips). Only in San Francisco and New York, though. :)
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Postby dezotti » Sun Jun 29, 2008 12:46 pm

I guess I should say that I'm a strong proponent of public displays of affections, whether it be gay or straight. Yeah, it might be uncomfortable for for a few that have to see the two people making out, but hey, that's love/lust...sometimes you just got to seize the moment. :)

Phoenix6570 wrote:First off I love kissing. When it comes to public kissing I guess I would be a bit nervous at first to kiss in public. I know I shouldn't be, but I would feel a little awkward at first. It wouldn't deter me from doing it, but it would take some time to be completely comfortable.

Yeah, I think for some it's a massive chip on the shoulder-- even if it's a quick kiss on the cheek.

I'm just glad no one so far has used the excuse that kissing in public is not straight-acting.
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Postby Crawley » Sun Jun 29, 2008 1:12 pm

Kissing is one major turn-ons for me. So yes, I love kissing.
About kissing in public: only when my mate is comfortable with it.
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Postby DerWanderer » Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:32 pm

There is a time and a place for things, and public venues are not one of them.

I'll admit to having an extremely conservative approach to all public behavior, be it public displays of affection, or even proper dress. Some would deem me a relic from a long forgotten time I suppose.

Public displays of affection are best kept subtle at best, and are perhaps best limited to the home or private venue lest one breech proper decorum.

Kissing doesn't offend my sensibilities, but I would generally avoid doing so in public unless I was in a part of the world where it was considered the norm, such as in greeting...etc.
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Postby dezotti » Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:37 pm

DerWanderer wrote:There is a time and a place for things, and public venues are not one of them.

I'll admit to having an extremely conservative approach to all public behavior, be it public displays of affection, or even proper dress. Some would deem me a relic from a long forgotten time I suppose.

Public displays of affection are best kept subtle at best, and are perhaps best limited to the home or private venue lest one breech proper decorum.

Kissing doesn't offend my sensibilities, but I would generally avoid doing so in public unless I was in a part of the world where it was considered the norm, such as in greeting...etc.

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Postby DerWanderer » Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:23 pm

And a strong supporter of burning riff raff at the stake I'll have you know!
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Postby solat » Tue Jul 01, 2008 2:23 am

DerWanderer wrote:Public displays of affection are best kept subtle at best, and are perhaps best limited to the home or private venue lest one breech proper decorum.


I entirely agree. This kind of public display is at variance with good rank and breeding.

DerWanderer wrote:Kissing doesn't offend my sensibilities, but I would generally avoid doing so in public unless I was in a part of the world where it was considered the norm, such as in greeting...etc.


That's just asking for staring daggers of contempt. Unless you're in a place like Greece, where I'd probably want to join in.
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Postby olywaguy » Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:44 am

I think the reason most gay men don't show public displays of affection is because of the fear of being beaten up and harassed.

Nobody seems to have a problem with lesbians kissing each other but the other way around is a problem for most people.

When I did have a bf (the one from Miami), he had a problem with PDA as well especially since he was a college professor and felt self-conscious when he saw his students around town. But, yet this very self-conscious guy didn't have a problem kissing at the airport when we would say good-bye.

I think most gay men are aware of the consequences of PDA and, henceforth, tend t be more cautious when going about town.

I don't have a problem with PDA whether from straight or gay couples. If that's how you feel that's how it should be. Usually makes me smile actually.

I remember walking around Seattle with a friend one time and seeing this gay couple holding hands (he looked like a blond surfer guy and the other guy was Asian). I remember staring at them because they felt so confident about themselves they were holding hands in public. I found that amazing.
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kissing

Postby jamesv » Tue Jul 01, 2008 4:50 pm

I have made out big time with another guys in gay clubs.

I wouldn't consider doing it any where else in public.

I don't think it is that appropriate for str8s either. But, if you are in a Latin American country, you will see young couples make out any and everywhere.
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Postby charmcitywop » Tue Jul 01, 2008 7:21 pm

Oh, I'm a recovering make out slut. Used to be one of my favorite hobbies. Seriously. And being a good kisser is absolutely required for me to go any further with the guy.

Still won't kiss Jonathan in public (gay bars don't count) except on occasion. As I recall, once outside our house as he was leaving for a business trip and then another time one the street when I was a little tipsy and he was picking me up after a work event.

We don't even hold hands in public. And we've never kissed in front of my family even when we were with them for a week at the beach.

I make Jonathan kiss me at the doorway everytime we leave the house. If he doesn't I just stand there until he comes back and plants one on me.
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Postby devilnuts » Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:22 pm

charmcitywop wrote:I make Jonathan kiss me at the doorway everytime we leave the house. If he doesn't I just stand there until he comes back and plants one on me.


That...is...so...friggin...ADORABLE!!!

I seriously don't get people's aversion to seeing other people being themselves. If you don't like it, don't watch...hahaha. I, quite frankly, don't give a damn either way. As long as it isn't a full on grope-fest, what difference does a little hand holding, kissing, or hugging matter to you? It doesn't.

That being said...we don't much do that stuff in public. A little kiss here or there (like when I visit him for lunch), but that's about it.
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Postby Cachasa » Wed Jul 02, 2008 4:19 pm

I do in public when were in a relativly quite isolated place like a park or just on the outskirts of the city by the highway. But not in a coffe shop or down town. I just don't like the weird stairs and the whispers and stuff. They kill the mood.

Same for holding hands, except some times sitting in a movie theater, I'll hold hands then.
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Postby qwertz » Sat Jul 05, 2008 5:16 am

dezotti wrote:I guess I should say that I'm a strong proponent of public displays of affections, whether it be gay or straight. Yeah, it might be uncomfortable for for a few that have to see the two people making out, but hey, that's love/lust...sometimes you just got to seize the moment. :)

Phoenix6570 wrote:First off I love kissing. When it comes to public kissing I guess I would be a bit nervous at first to kiss in public. I know I shouldn't be, but I would feel a little awkward at first. It wouldn't deter me from doing it, but it would take some time to be completely comfortable.

Yeah, I think for some it's a massive chip on the shoulder-- even if it's a quick kiss on the cheek.

I'm just glad no one so far has used the excuse that kissing in public is not straight-acting.


I am a very strong proponent of it too especially between males as an indispensable correction for the systematically wrong image about men young guys have to grow up with at present (extreme violent images of men in video games, tlevision and movies,...).
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Postby nimby » Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:14 pm

I think it is hot. Gentle & affectionate. But not in public. My wife's nephew still kisses everyone hello & good bye on the lips. He is 21. And I still get the butterflies in my stomach. It is very normal to kiss in their family (very European).
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Postby TheWoofMan » Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:33 pm

I love it, but I'm careful who I kiss in public because I don't always like PDAs, not everyone else likes to kiss in public, and a light kiss hello/goodbye is fine but I'm not always into making out in public or into seeing that in all environments.
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Postby darkwolf » Sun Aug 03, 2008 5:43 pm

i aint in a relationship, but i wouldnt have a problem doing it. if you love someone show it just dont overdo it with huge makeout session.
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Postby dracuscalico » Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:20 pm

dezotti wrote:I guess I should say that I'm a strong proponent of public displays of affections, whether it be gay or straight. Yeah, it might be uncomfortable for for a few that have to see the two people making out, but hey, that's love/lust...sometimes you just got to seize the moment. :)

Phoenix6570 wrote:First off I love kissing. When it comes to public kissing I guess I would be a bit nervous at first to kiss in public. I know I shouldn't be, but I would feel a little awkward at first. It wouldn't deter me from doing it, but it would take some time to be completely comfortable.

Yeah, I think for some it's a massive chip on the shoulder-- even if it's a quick kiss on the cheek.

I'm just glad no one so far has used the excuse that kissing in public is not straight-acting.


I hadn't even looked at this topic because I dismiss the idea of kissing in public as NOT STRAIGHT ACTING at all! Straight acting (or as I prefer to phrase it straight "behaving"), guys DON'T KISS OTHER GUYS IN STRAIGHT ENVIRONMENTS, only in environments where it is considered culturally or socially acceptable. To kiss a guy in an environment where it is NOT acceptable would be the GAY thing to do.

In my own experience I have only held hands with a guy late at night while going for a walk but would let go if someone came near. In Europe I walked for 2 blocks holding hands with a guy, and it was actually me who initiated it. It was someone I was having a long distance relationship with. For me it was really a big step and I was sweating bullets, but I only was able to do that because I wasn't home and no one I knew could see me.

It creeps me out when I see a bunch of gay guys all kissing each other hello on the lips at the gym or in restaurants when they don't know where everyone's mouth has been. No guy gets to greet me even with a cheek kiss unless he's European and greeting EVERYONE of both genders that way.

Guys making out in public looks bad unless it is THAT type of venue where anything goes like a bar or resort or other exclusively gay situation.

The despicable thing I have witnessed is attending a pool party at a gay couple's house when they had friends from all backgrounds there. Anytime the guys so much as held hands or came near each other. The straight people turned to watch them EXPECTANTLY like they were hoping for a free "peep show" even though the guys weren't even doing anything like that. It made the guys feel like they couldn't really be themselves in front of their trusted straight "friends", so they kept their distance for most of the event.

Bottom line: When guys show affection in public, people read it as meaning SEX, whereas if girls do it it only means affection.

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Postby Frizzurd » Sat Oct 25, 2008 3:42 pm

I have (more than once) seen a straight couple dig they're fingers through the jeans into the others ass. Nobody else seemed to notice yet if i were to hold a guys hand i would get all kinds of looks.

I would kiss my guy if i had one. It wouldn't be tounging or anything that would be overly lewd for a straight couple to do. I don't see public affection as an effeminate thing to do because straight people do it!

I think its awesome because your saying screw what others think, me and my guy are equal to everyone else and if i feel like kissing him i should be able to do it just as a straight guy can kiss his wife.
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Postby dracuscalico » Sat Oct 25, 2008 6:41 pm

It sounds good in theory, but you just can't do it anywhere, and everyone knows that. In an enlightened environment where people are used to gays like anything arts related, you are safe. At a baseball game, not unless you have your posse with you, or you are big and tough enough looking to intimidate anyone who might think of saying or doing anything.

If it weren't for the sissies and the gay pride parades, people would have accepted male couples a long time ago. But the association will remain too strong and too negative until the "fringe elements" are reeled in and gotten under control. When fighting for civil rights and equality, no matter WHICH group one belongs to, that's the time to focus on the SIMILARITIES between you and other people, not the time for flaunting of the very stereotypes that distance you from the rest of humanity.
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